I was trying to do absolutely everything right for my cat but I can't help but think it went horribly wrong. She was my best friend of almost 16 years and has been with me during some horribly difficult periods in my life. She was dying of progressed chronic kidney disease and I knew it was her time on Saturday. She had stopped eating, had chronic diarrhea, was wobbly when she walked, and was no longer using her little box. I've had a lot of time to think about how I wanted things to proceed when it was her time and I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. I opted for an at-home euthanasia service. Everything went well until the process actually started. I was surprised to see the vet was not going to use an IV to administer the drugs. Instead, they injected the drugs into her abdomen. When the first drug was given (a sedative), I was holding her and she bit me hard on the hand. Then, it took what seemed like forever (maybe 10 minutes) for her to become unconscious. She started gagging and throwing up for a couple minutes before she finally became unconscious. I panicked and yelled out to the vet asking what was going on. The second drug was also injected into her abdomen and took a several minutes to work before she was gone.
I've been sick to my stomach and haven't been able to eat or sleep since this has happened. I was already struggling immensely with having to put her down but the way it happened I fear has traumatized me forever. Why didn't the vet us an IV for the euthanasia drug? Why wasn't the sedative given sub Q or somewhere less painful than her abdomen? Why did she seem to struggle and be in so much pain at the end? How will I ever get over this?
Please help me get through this and understand what was wrong. I don't doubt the vets compassion and motives (she was crying a lot with me) but think she did something horribly wrong.