Aslynn
Belle.. Today I put my best friend of 16 years to sleep. I'm going over the day and also the last several months in my mind. Belle was the first kitten of 3 born May 1 2002 in my home. I never put him down from that that moment on. A very handsome large grey tabby .. so mellow so sweet always comforting. He'd squeeze my hand when I squeezed his. He moved with me many times and also across the country to help care for his grandma. He developed diabetes several yrs ago and seemed to be doing pretty well. Recently I had to move again. Ended up staying at exs awhile and Belle and my 10 yr old Lexi were boarded. They stayed with me for awhile and then due to other family issues were boarded again. I so hated to do it but the plan was for us all to move in 2 wks. Belle developed a bilateral eye infection and an abscess under his chin several wks ago. I took him to a new vet near boarding and he had IV fluids got abx ear drops and oral abx. His blood glucose was low so his insulin was reduced. He was to have a recheck in a couple wks. His eye infection recurred and there were still eye drops so those were given. He developed an abscess on his chin and I noticed that he seemed to have gained weight.. fluid? So I was waiting for my monthly pay but when I got it I was sick for a few days with cough fever etc. and tomorrow was going to be the day both of us would be checked. I hated to wait.. it was killing me. I've been patient as I was staying here due to my own health issues surgery etc. where family and I helped each other out. This morning I had a call that Belle was not moving his legs so I went to take him into an emergency clinic. This clinic has many specialists associated with them. I relayed Belles history and the vet was concerned with fluid retention. Belle was taken out of the room. The vet took a sample of the fluid. Blood sugar was low and he was dehydrated. The vet thought he may be septic. He came back to talk with me. I knew Belle was sick and I felt so responsible. But tho he thought he could treat the infections and keep him a few days which is what I hoped the new swelling would require many tests for diagnosis. He felt that it could be cancer or heart failure and then we'd treat the problem. Maybe. There were things happening to where I could see age and diabetes wearing on my baby but I just feel so bad that he wasn't with me. I thought about my Mom who was ill for 3 yrs and all the suffering she did. I was back and forth. I did let him go.... peacefully while cuddling and talking to him... but when I left I thought... I did this. He didn't know why he wasn't with me... and I thought we were finally getting there. I know that he knew that he was loved so very much. It's so hard. I'm sorry for the length ... it helps to write. Though I'd like to give up... I have another cat to care for and a new grandbaby. There won't be another Belle.
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MAlcindor
Aslynn, I am so very sorry for your loss. No, you will never have another Belle. She will live forever in your heart. Please don't be hard on yourself, it sounds like you had a lot going on with your own health issues. I hope you post here often as I know it does help tremendously.
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Purzel
Audrey,

I am very sorry for the loss of your sweet Belle. I am also very sure that you did everything possible, taking him to vets and loving him for so many years. 16 is a good old age for a cat, this has to be considered and alone that shows how wonderfully you did take care of him. I doupt you could have saved him any longer and so you did do right by him in a selfless act of love to free him from suffering and pain. I know it is hard and overwhelming. Just take time to grieve him and be gentle with yourself. This is a safe place to be, we all understand and are here to listen and dry your tears.

My heart goes out to you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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Aslynn
I'm having trouble with posting. I answered MAIcindor... and it went to Ginny. Don't know how to get it here. I so appreciate hearing from both of you. Today is a bad day. I'm trying to think that way... but I should have been with ... he's a boy... him every day soothing him and cleaning him. Not like me not to do that. He was so important to me...Trying to think of 16 yrs and not just the last few months. Thank you so very much for kind thoughts. I know you understand. Love to you....
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MAlcindor
Just post and we are all able to see your replies. We are all here for each other. it's difficult not to think of the last moments before they leave us. I imagine that with time the good memories will override the more traumatic ones. Your boy knows how much you care and love him, nothing will ever take that away.
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CK1991
I'm so sorry Ashlynn. You've painted a picture of a handsome and loving companion, Belle. I think you've made the right decision not to pursue cancer treatments or put him through painful procedures that likely wouldn't have helped. If he couldn't move his legs it wasn't good. I'm sorry to say that but I want you to know you did right by your wonderful Belle. I hope you post here again. You just have to hit the little "reply" at the bottom of the last post. I hope you can gain comfort from your other kitty who will need you. Don't be shy about grieving in front of him. He will understand and want to be there for you too. Hugs to you!
CK
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Purzel
Audrey,
Sorry I oversaw that Belle was a boy. I corrected that. As Marlen said, we can see all your posts and I saw that you called him Belly Boy - what a sweet name. I agree with CK1991 - you did right by your wonderful Belle.
My good thoughts are with you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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