Forum
Sign up Calendar Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment   Page 4 of 26      Prev   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   Next   »
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #46 
Silvia, do you realize our babies died the same day, I didn’t, till just now😌wouldn’t it be wonderful to think 2 beautiful souls arrived together on the same day on purpose? My Tankie was also very light, tail always wagging and just happy to be alive. She loved being outside and loved her walks. She was loyal with nothing but unconditional love for me💛
Thank you for your sweet words, I’m trying and the fact that I can now reach out to others who are in pain is probably the biggest improvement. I didn’t think I would ever get past my own pain to be of Any comfort to others. It’s beautiful how we are all just words with no faces yet connected with this one thread, the loss of our precious babies. I’ve seen your supportive words, your kindness and your struggles. I see all the fresh hearts breaking, but through it all I still believe that death of the body does not equal death of the soul. Doesn’t stop me from wanting like hell for things to be different, but their not. We, I’m afraid, are in this for the long haul, baby steps.
Have you thought about a companion pup much? I think I’m almost ready but circumstances aren’t right, in time. For now Tankie’s sibling is first priority. I hope your night ends with at least one smile thinking of your sweet Max’s tail wagging

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #47 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZTiger98
Lynn,

Hope you are having a better day today. I agree, trying to fight through the grief and appear “normal” is a huge task sometimes. I know it has been for me. But yes, this place is a godsend. Take care of yourself.



Thank you David. Your struggle before and after your sweet Stormy’s death has been difficult as well but you have always found it in your heart to reach out with kindness. Feelings shift from day to day, sometimes minute by minute. But that’s the price of love we’d never change. Today I saw something so friggin benign that brought the tears to the surface! A set of silicone funnels and it brought me back to a veggie wedger I’d purchased at the same time. Tankie had lost her love for raw carrots and thought maybe they’d gotten to hard on her teeth. That wasn’t the problem, not at all. I’d soon find out she was dying. My memory has always been too good. This year has and will be one of “firsts” , our firsts without them. Yesterday I Know was incredibly hard for you!! You lost a child and yet for your children you had to endure. Mother’s Day I simmered at my husband for having flowers sent. But, he just didn’t understand, I’m a Mommy who’s child died, I want the day to not exist, but since it does let it be over already, I hope today is a here and there Real smile day 💛 and happy thoughts of your Stormy contributing to each of them,,,, take care

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
contessa15

Registered:
Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #48 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tankie12
contessa15, Debra, what happened to Mickey? Are you alone? No matter the reason I’m so sorry your baby died. I know how devastating and heartbreaking this is. I’m sure you’re in shock as well. When this happens it doesn’t matter one bit whether it’s expected or not, the heartache is the same, and it hurts like hell. It will for a long time. There is no expiration date on pain because it is individual. Right now for sure it’s as raw and stinging as it can get. My heart goes out to you, this is soo painful. Thankfully you found this forum, it can be a blessing, you can freely express your pain. Sadly we all know how you’re feeling right now. We are all raw in one way or another and at different stages of grief, but we’re all right here and listening. Write as you feel the need, hugs to you and be super kind to yourself right now,,,,,
0
contessa15

Registered:
Posts: 3
Reply with quote  #49 
Hi- Mickey must have had a fast moving cancer as it was very sudden.  I am devastated.  My kitten Jellybean is lost - he had Mickey for the two years of his life.  My heart is breaking and i am so sad.  I cannot stop crying.  He was my buddy, my bestie and the love of my life.  I miss him so much.  Thank you for responding.
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #50 
Debra I’m so sorry. You and Jellybean are lost, it’s all so fresh, the pain is paralyzing, the grief is harsh. Mickey is a kitty? I’d love to see a picture. Give Jellybean lots of extra love, like I’m sure you already are. This is traumatic, losing someone who was so much a part of everyday, everywhere you look is one more reminder of your baby. Write as often as you want. If you’d like you can look in the top right side of the page when you log in it will say ( New Topic ) You can hit that and start your own posts about Mickey and your sweet times with him, and the pain you’re going through. It will be all yours, and Mickey’s. That will give people a chance to see you’re new here. You’ll have many more responses and believe me it helps,,,,,be kind to yourself right now, this is all incredibly harsh
__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
catiebee

Registered:
Posts: 1,085
Reply with quote  #51 
It really is incredible, how very many triggers there are, Lynn! I'm so sorry you keep encountering them and I know those pierce like a sword.  

I hope Browns is starting to adjust and is doing better. It must be heartbreaking to see her be lonely and not knowing what happened.

I was smiling to read that you may be nearly ready to add another to your household. I do think that brings some healing. At least, it soothed me much in 2007, after the last time I lost a dog. I've needed to wait a bit this time, but I hope you'll keep us posted when that comes to pass. (Oops, I'm clearly confused. There was a post awhile back about the pup who is Browns' lifeline but more recently in talking to Silvia, I thought you were referring to getting another companion.  Please 'scuse me if I'm off base.... It doesn't take much for me to get confused.)

In the meanwhile, this is a long, hard journey and you are often in my thoughts and my hopes are that each day you gather a little more strength and your heart heals a little further. Hugs to you!



__________________
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #52 
Thanks Catie, Browns is doing remarkably well. Her lil guy puppy has made her very happy, she even plays again. No, you have read that I could be ready, after the dog in the Vet’s office I know that’s what I need. But Browns comes first. She would never accept a lrg puppy. I picked her puppy, Sport, for his size hoping to be non intrusive and maybe bring out a maternal instinct. The only maternal instinct seems to be his! He grooms her all the time! She growls and shows her teeth and he carry’s on and on and on. He was perfect for her. She’s a lrg breed 10.5yr old girl and I would never stress her remaining yrs. my time will come, than I’ll be on here with a brand new grief. Someone said ‘the minute you open your heart to a pet your heart is sure to break’
__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 734
Reply with quote  #53 
Lynn,

No, I did not realize our beloved ones died the same day and your thoughts about this are comforting me. I guess both will have a party in rainbowland now. Yes, death of the body does certainly not equal the death of the soul - this thought is very comforting and keeps me going.

You asked: "Have you thought about a companion pup much? I think I’m almost ready but circumstances aren’t right, in time." To be honest, I dont know. Many many people around here asked me this as many do not know me without Max. And that is exactly the thing: "Without Max!" Right now, I am not ready as I am still trying to come to terms focussing on a life without him.

I am very glad to see, as I read on, that you consider Browns' way of being. You are a thoughtful and loving person.

Hugs

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #54 
My beautiful Tankie we somehow have passed the six month mark, I’ll miss you forever

Attached Images
jpeg 0C9417CC-AFB6-423A-A451-4EAE3618A0B3.jpeg (34.58 KB, 3 views)


__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 734
Reply with quote  #55 
Lynn,
Just saw your post. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful picture. I hope you are feeling a little better today.
(((hugs)))

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #56 
Thanks Silvia, she’s my love. It’s hard to believe a half year has gone by I can honestly say I can’t believe it. How could each day have passed its like some crazy time warp. The loss is still as strong, the pain as fresh as it was once the surreal feeling became “real”. Yet the longing, that feels like forever. I hope you’re feeling better, Max is such a handsome boy, I love seeing his face at the bottom of each post, those soulful eyes💛 I’m going to put Tankie’s picture on my signature today also,,,,,be good to you

Attached Images
jpeg F4934DA8-E11B-453E-96F7-96517305B1F4.jpeg (34.58 KB, 1 views)


__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

0
Purzel

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 734
Reply with quote  #57 
Lynn,
You are so right.... half a year is nearly gone. So lovely your avatar, I can now see Tankie each time you post. I thought of you today because I was at a festival and really thought I saw Tankie, this sweet one looked just like her, blew my mind really. I confess I am a little scared of the half a year day..... I hope I can manage well enough and I know you understand what I mean....

I hope you are better today

Hugs

__________________
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #58 
Silvia I was at the hospital Monday and the tech that called my name introduced herself as Purzel! Our wires are somehow getting crossed!
I considered June 3rd as 6 months. We really lost all of this years months. Just three days we had them😔 I was so happy she was able to enjoy the little cool weather we have down here, than she was my Christmas wish. New Year’s Eve she jumped on the bed for the first time in months and was just being a sweet silly love than played a little with her sister, another first in months. Three days later it all came tumbling down. I too was going to have our Vet come to the house, when it was time. The decision was made for me. I’m grateful for that. Grateful she’d had a good day, grateful I was here and awake., grateful I was chosen to raise my beautiful babies,,,,,miss her soo very much every day

Attached Images
jpeg 43990A2E-8835-4FCA-B82F-D978AECE3892-min.jpeg (96.11 KB, 3 views)
jpeg B8964C69-0E2A-429C-8677-D419477823A0.jpeg (34.58 KB, 3 views)


__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

0
Tankie12

Avatar / Picture

Registered:
Posts: 979
Reply with quote  #59 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purzel
Lynn,
You are so right.... half a year is nearly gone. So lovely your avatar, I can now see Tankie each time you post. I thought of you today because I was at a festival and really thought I saw Tankie, this sweet one looked just like her, blew my mind really. I confess I am a little scared of the half a year day..... I hope I can manage well enough and I know you understand what I mean....

I hope you are better today

Hugs

You’re right, it’s not yet 6 months. I guess it’s the longing and missing and that it’s June already. Time truly is perceived differently now😔 those last 6 weeks of meds and fluids and tears are so fresh but oh the longing and grief feel much longer, the missing seems as long as the time spent with them, and the tears have an eternity of their own. No road maps for guidance on this journey,,,,,but how enriched our lives were because of them and we Have to find a way honoring them through all of this, we just have to
Wishing you comfort and sunflowers 🌻

__________________
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
0
catiebee

Registered:
Posts: 1,085
Reply with quote  #60 
It really is hard to fathom that so much of the year has now passed. And I know you miss precious Tankie just all of the time. Sometimes the calendar ticking by only makes it all seem more real. 

That is a very deep statement that the tears have an eternity of their own. I know each time they flow, it all feels very very fresh again.  The tears express so much more than the words can, or at least I find it so. Even some that don't flow but creep so readily into my eyes when I'm not free to let them come. It takes so little for them to start. 

BTW, that is very curious that Sport wants to constantly groom Browns, to her frustration. I hope they can grow to enjoy each other's companionship. 

Has the changing of the season to summer been hard on you, Lynn?

As always, my heart goes out to you over your ongoing, painful journey and for how hard it is to endure the missing and the loneliness. You loved her well. I hope the weekend has held some encouragement for you.



__________________
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
0
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.