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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #376 

Lynn,

I am so so sorry for missing Tankie's Birthday...I wish her a such BELATED, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY - The sweet GENTLE GIANT!  Tankie may your day have been filled with escapades, treats, chases, and yellow petals falling from heavy hibiscus plants to jump into!  May you always feel the love and pull of your Mom's heart and may you fill her days with Tankie moments and touches!

Don does indeed find the most appropriate and perfect pictures!  
And for Tankie - yellow hibiscus... in Japanese it means 'gentle' - How perfect Lynn for your Giant Tank!  And in Korea this flower symbolizes immortality despite its fragility...[I am sure you know all this though!]  How absolutely perfect, for your beautiful girl is indeed immortal...her love and bond with you is forever and always.  
Maybe grief is a gift...I know, I know it sounds silly even to myself...but perhaps it is...it is personal, deeply held and often so deeply hidden...it is a part of the bond that was forged, the foundation of which is love - maybe it keeps us connected, aware and grateful...maybe it is one of those silky golden threads that wraps itself tightly around both hearts when words fail and we live within different realms???  Perhaps the pain, the ache is the welling up of love for our special fur one that now we cannot express in the ways we want to...The journey is endless I have come to believe Lynn...like the love...time is neither a 'healer' nor a 'curse'...it just is one day after another...And the greatest 'liberator' was to accept that I will grieve forever...no one can pressure me to feel 'guilt at not getting over this'...
I am so so sorry for your upsetting dream of your Tankie...Grief is so so complex- and we compound our sorrow with our 'guilt', our 'self-doubts' that will push our thoughts and emotions into a turmoil within that often we are not even aware of...our guilt punishes us over and over - in waking moments and sadly too within our sleep...Your girl is whole, is free and is running madly through her new adventures...strong, healthy and with such 'stories' to share with her special mom.  She is always with you, those ears hear her name, and indeed too her heart is tied to yours - each beat is a beat for two..Her spirit, her soul is within yours and she walks again because her mom walks again.   
Lynn, I wish for you soft dreams of 'thundering paws' shaking the floors and waking Browns and Sport!  I wish for you the unmistakable 'sense' of Tankie's touch...and for night skies to be filled with full moons of yellow - a sign from your Tankie that she is indeed upon the same path as you - she is there with you - loyal and loving...
May your tears be those of the strength of pure love, a forever bond and the true sorrow these bring when form and realms change...and we are left behind.  Many hugs for you Lynn.

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Sil

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Reply with quote  #377 
Lynn - Tankie's mom,

Thank you for visiting my beloved Sol's thread.  You amaze me, you always manage to find the meaning of things.  You connect the dots.  What you wrote,
"Sol knows, how much my arms needed to physically hold a sweet dog...." - my heart and arms wanted/longed to hold a doggie.  
Maya grew so fast - she is now over seventy three pounds.  But, with Lea because of her illness, and my belief in "touch", I got to hold her, to soothe her to make sure that,
she knew, I was by her side.

Lynn, Tankie is very proud of her forever mom, she knows that your heart will continue to comfort many of us.  Thank you 
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #378 
Quote:
Originally Posted by catiebee
I wanted to post so badly during Tankie's birthday, Lynn. I very much had you on my heart but was a bit overwhelmed with activity in 3D. I knew how hard a certain birthday hit back in October and I had you in my thoughts over and over. Not many words at the moment, but deep appreciation for you on so many levels and a gazillion wishes for your heart to be comforted. Huge hugs and lotsa love!

Catie thank you so much❣️ I hope you’re doing ok and your Father as well. I’m sorry you’re going through this and I pray for your strength. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Please don’t forget to take care of you, big warm hugs,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #379 
Hi Lynn, I haven't posted here in so long and I apologize for that because I do think of you very often. The temperature change we had last week, although short lived, was such a bittersweet time for me as I know for you too. It's a rare time here when it is so comfortable outside that all our babies want to do is be out there taking in the sun. I miss seeing my Max sunbathing on my driveway. He'd sit out there all day if I let him. I miss him so, so much. I know how much you miss Tankie and how much this time of year weighs on your heart. Sending you so many, many hugs.
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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #380 
Hey Marlen😚, no problem I’ve been neglecting everyone lately.
We have been having little spots of great weather haven’t we?! Makes you realize just how much we enjoyed it was experiencing it through them. We had a doggie door most of her life and this time of year she chose to be outside. In to come and say hi in all her happiness than right back out she’d go. I miss that girl soo much.
Browns I don’t think has ever cared one way or the other and the lil punk hasn’t shown a preference yet. What about your lil guy?
I read about the throw and how Bailey liked it❣️Lil dogs and the comforts they love, my yorkie was the same. She would curl in a ball and you could only see her ear flopping out. She was never a lap dog! Always right next to me but never on me. Tankie would often lay on a foot and I was just as tethered as you wondering how long my ole bladder would hold!
How did ur Thanksgiving go? I know u made the best of it and kept in mind how grateful u are for all that we have been given.
Are we ever going to tell our forum family our little secret?😎,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever

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MAlcindor

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Reply with quote  #381 
Oh Lynn, you really made me laugh out loud. Let’s just keep it to ourselves a little longer 😂, or not 🤔.

Thanksgiving was ok. Toby was a hit with the rest of the family who had not met him yet. My uncle’s girlfriend kept saying how cute Toby is and how much cuter than “the other two” I had. It really upset me but she’s a much older woman so I left it alone. The second time she said it my mom told her, “but I loved Bailey so much”. That touched me and it confirmed for me what I have always felt, my mom who is not a dog person really did love my boys.

More perfect weather coming our way in these coming days. I never thought the weather would be a reason for my heart to ache.

I really hope Browns and Sport are bringing you lots of joy with sloppy wet kisses.

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          Marlen
(Max & Bailey's mommy)

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/MAX42339/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BAILE490/Resident.htm

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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #382 
Lynn,

In midst of all the grief, you always do show your special humor that makes me smile. I looked at the calendar today and realize that the one year mark is quickly heading its way towards us. I can't believe that the year is nearly gone. Outside it is pretty ugly grey cold and rainy - something Max would have loved, lol. Last night, shortly before I fell asleep I saw Max for a very short little while - he came up to me, looked, wagged his tail and walked off into dreamland where I obviously followed because I woke up next morning. For this very very short instant I saw he was fully healthy and happy. It is the very first time I saw him like this since he died. I sincerely hope that you will soon have a moment like this, dear friend.

Many hugs

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #383 
Hi Lynn,

Just a wee note to let you know you're in my thoughts and that I'm hoping your week has treated you kindly.

Thank you so much for your post to me above and for your prayers. That is more than kind. We are hanging in there!

The photo of your little yorkie, all hidden but the ear, is a hoot. So precious!

It is so, so sweet that Tankie would lay on your foot. Just that connection, a link by touch. You drew a neat word picture of her bounding in the pet door to say hello and then returning to the outdoors she loved. 

The missing is tough. I'm right there with you. So many, many little things. And all the big things too. 

I'm glad you've had some enjoyable weather. I hope that holds up! Keep taking care of you....  Am sending hugs.

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-Missing Marissa deeply
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Sil

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Reply with quote  #384 
Lynn - Tanke's mom,

Thank you for visiting my beloved Sol's thread and for your comforting post and wishes for a Merry Christmas.  

As we approach the winter months and change of season.... and yes, the coming holidays.  We will feel the physical absence of our beloved fur kids - the longing will always be.  But, we must"march on", as many of us have furry ones to take care of.  And, as you know, they require our continuous attention and love.  

Right now, mine have decided to "dig and look for treasure".

Lynn, you always manage to find the meaning behind all this.., you are right, Sol has given me a gift.  .. 
Sol has been guiding me.  My wish is that "he'll be my guide till we meet again"


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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #385 
Lynn,

Thinking of you and Tankie as always.
Since I have met you, anytime I see a full moon I think of Tankie. Thank you for always being here for me for the last 7 months and leaving sweet little notes on Teddy’s thread. Sending you many big hugs 💕🐾

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Millie18

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Reply with quote  #386 
Lynn,

Finally back online after major computer/internet issues, albeit without emoji access...go figure.

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you. I know how this time of the year is especially tough for you. Thinking about Browns and Sport and what they must be up to.
Hoping your Christmas & NY's pass leaving you unscathed.

Hugs,
Diana



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Diana

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CKMP

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Reply with quote  #387 
Lynn,
Wondering if you are doing ok?  I have read some of your replies to others and am wondering if you are having some especially tough moments...as the holidays come upon us.  What struck me the most was your note about Tankie's Christmas stocking...and the regret, the anger that it was inexpensive and not filled with treats and toys that once she would enjoy...Lynn, Tankie wouldn't care and doesn't care...Christmas for Her was You - You are and were her gift each and every day.  You filled her life with care, with love and companionship and her rough days with special treatments, special diets and even more love...Her love was for you - You are that gift that filled her heart with thankfulness and happiness.  We find so many ways to continually 'punish' or 'hurt' ourselves over the should haves, could haves, might haves...did nots...Every little thing becomes to us critically important in the scheme of trying to control the situation our fur ones were in - and each and every time we will find fault within our actions or inactions.  Guilt is a terribly heavy burden to carry along with sorrow and grief...and most every time guilt is an unnecessary weight to shoulder...
As you walk through each day, your gentle giant walks with you...That doggie door is still used...perhaps in just a bit more silent and subtle manner now...There is still that joy within her step, in her eyes and in that smile...adventures to be on...and when there is a quiet moment or two there is still that giant soft head laying gently across your foot...No mistake, that 'pressure' you feel at times if just for a second is that beautiful girl of yours...She is both ahead of you now and with you still...she is your 'walker', your sturdy, loyal companion always...She is your fur angel always...
Take care Lynn - be kind to yourself, and know you are loved forever and always by a 'big softie girl' whose soul burns brightly within your own.  Many hugs and extra pets for Browns and Sport...
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #388 
Thank you Cody😚 as always you give comfort with your words.
I do have guilt, but not over stockings. That’s just regret. It would have been nice to have something a lil more memorable. But it’s just a thing.
I hope your girls know how appreciated you are by soo many who’s hearts feel just a little less overwhelmed and very much pampered by their Mum’s words.
The pictures you’ve shared look like portraits Cody! The expressions and the way they seem to be looking right at you, they are just perfect. Two so obviously happy and content girls who always knew how cherished and adored they were and still are. They hear you my friend, each whisper of their name, your voice is the song they dance to.
I wish for you many moments of gentle thoughts, warm fuzzies and you between *two peas in a pod* as it should be,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #389 
Sweet Lynn,

Thank you for your words on Max's thread - and yep, I am thinking of you and your beloved Tankie ever so often. Like I once said, they are somehow all jumping around before my inner eye - and maybe it sounds crazy but even when I see other dogs they sometimes remind me of our fur children and I think of them with a smile. Lynn, I think that even if we have no material things to remind us - the material does not really weigh but it is the spirit, the memories, the time span we were able to share that will forever stay in our hearts and souls.

I personally am still not ready to accept but I do feel deep down inside of me that also the unpleasant memories of this December will one day make sense and be fully integrated and accepted with love. So it will happen as time goes.

I wish for you that you will fully enjoy your Christmas season with your family, with Browns and the "lil punk" (lol) and Tankie's spirit all around you.

Many hugs
(your friend Silvia watching the moon these days...)

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Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #390 
In the snow! I picture them rolling and being sparing golden gladiators in the snow! I know she would have loved snow just as much as Max did. They were made for it and I’m sure she’s finally seen and felt it.
I’m not a materialistic at all, actually pretty plain😶 lol. I know the *stocking* has drawn some attention but ya know I think what really bothers me is the reason I bought it. So it could have been spun with the finest silk and held togather with strands of gold but it would still mean the same thing. 💧Her Last Christmas💧
When the first wave of shock after her death passed I quickly (More like a crazy woman) removed things I never wanted to see again, the bed she received her fluids on and everything to do with her illness. The stocking escaped, it had been packed up the day before.
The wicker bone basket is gone per the Vet and Browns chipped teeth. But all else remains as it was right down to her doggie bed next to Browns in the living room. Where it’s been since they were weeks old. Sport now uses it, I know she wouldn’t mind.
I hope this year the eluded snow of Christmas is a morning surprise my friend😚,,,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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