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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #1 
I’ve always found writing to be easier than talking. I can’t talk and cry but I can move my fingers! My baby is gone and the pain is with me almost constantly. I gave no understanding as to why God made their lives soo short when our love is soo uncontrollably strong,,
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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Mackysmum

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi tankie
I'm sorry for your loss , yes I agree they don't live long enough its so unfair .
How long ago did you lose your baby ?
It does help to write i agree
Talking to them like they are around helps me to
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #3 
Tankie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope coming here and talking and hearing from others will help. 

The pain and tears are so hard to endure. Be extra kind to yourself while your grief is so raw. And post all that you want or need to. Again, so very sorry you are hurting!

Wishing you much comfort!

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #4 
Yesterday was 12 wks. Coming home is still hard. Everything is her, she has touched each part of this house. Her nose prints remain on the window she loved to look out. Her bed is right next to her sisters. Her other bed remains under ours, we pulled it out when she was ready for bed.
Today my husband had a minor sx but still required a cath., when she twisted the IV line into the fluid bag I almost lost it. I gave her fluids 3 times a day for 6 wks. Wasn’t ready for that reminder. She adored me, I hurt her over and over, hard to live with that, it really crushes me

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #5 
Lynn, I am hearing you. It is all just so hard and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for that stark reminder with the fluids! Things like that can set off such a storm of pain.

I just put away disposable gloves I didn't realize were still visible in my kitchen. We were treating my dog for cancer. Anything related to that sets my heart on fire with pain all over again.

I am so, so sorry for how complicated and painful it gets when we're trying to save their lives, but we never want them to hurt for even a second. My heart goes out to you and I wish you comfort. Sending hugs.

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Catie
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #6 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mackysmum
Hi tankie
I'm sorry for your loss , yes I agree they don't live long enough its so unfair .
How long ago did you lose your baby ?
It does help to write i agree
Talking to them like they are around helps me to


I do talk to her, I picture her in all her favorite spots. I grab her big head and kiss every inch of it and let her shake away from me with her silliness, as she always did. Guess they can’t lock us all in a padded room huh?! Glad to know I not alone! And Than i thank St Francis for talking care of her and watch her walk away, all 117 healthy lbs of her, with her tail wagging her body, as normal. Till next time I visit her,,,

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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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normsmom

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Reply with quote  #7 
Hi Lynn,

Thank you for reaching out to me about Norm. I am so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet girl. I love how you describe kissing her head and her shaking away with her silliness. Norm did that too and I can just picture it. Thank you for that memory. This heartbreak is truly terrible. I am glad you've found this forum. People here really do understand. 

Wishing you peace and healing during this very sad time,
Heather
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Stasia

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Reply with quote  #8 
I think we all understand that pain unfortunately. I still cry all of the time over Sylvester even though I have another kitty who I adore. It's a huge loss that you never really get over. People say it gets easier but I haven't experienced it yet. 
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Stasia
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #9 
At the gym a woman next to me told me how she’d just lost her husband of 27 yrs. he died Jan 5 th, my Tankie died Jan 3 rd. She spent his last 6 wks tending to him, as I did Tankie. She could openly speak to a stranger of his death, what a Kind man he was, how she missed him, that she always would I couldn’t even mention Tankie, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a word out without choking up. I felt guilty that I was so crushed over my baby when you would think she’s going through so much worse yet handling it so well, at least openly. You would think it would put all of this in perspective. I’m so glad I can express myself here and not be judged. I miss her terribly sometimes I look at the trees, at the field that’s on it second harvest and it makes me mad that all these things survived that hurricane, except her
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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Chelle_10

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Reply with quote  #10 
Hi Tankie,
I am sorry about your loss. I relate to your situation a lot. My toy poodle had chronic bronchitis and required an inhalor 2 x a daily. A week before her death her cough was getting better I had so much faith that she was going to get bettet and perhaps be with us a little longer. We really try our best to give them a happy life, I know she is happier and well playing in the fields in doggy heaven I miss her so much.
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Stasia

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Reply with quote  #11 
I do not think anyone should feel that the loss of a pet is not comparable to the loss of a person. In a lot of ways, losing a pet can feel worse. They are a part of our family and become as important to us as any person. So, it is a very significant loss and no one should feel that they can't express that. Yes, some people do not understand but most do.
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Stasia
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #12 
Stasia, I so agree. I saw a therapist awhile back who said she sees a lot of people who were able to get over the loss of their parents without help, but really needed support to process the passing of their pet. It's such a hard kind of grief!

Lynn, I'm so, so sorry about the pain of your loss. I know the hurt lasts such a long time and my heart goes out to you!

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Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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Stasia

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Reply with quote  #13 
catiebee,

I am actually going through that right now. Not with my parents, they are still alive, but I have never felt the kind of pain over a person that I felt when I lost Sylvester. It was different. More intense somehow. And to this day, I am struggling with my depression over his loss despite having a wonderful new kitty that I rescued whom I absolutely adore. Still, I'm really stuck. And its been his death. I brought him home when he was 4 months old and when I had to put him down he was 20. 20 years that little guy was with me. I keep seeing and hearing it gets easier but it hasn't really, not for me. I love Hudson to death but I miss my little buddy so much.

Its the unconditional love. 

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Stasia
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Boomboom

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Reply with quote  #14 
I'm w ya stasia, I just lost my 11yo boxer Fri morning & its always jus been the 2 of us. He's been thru 2 breakups & 2 grandparents w me & losing him is worst then all them combined. Hate to say it but it's true. He was always my go to guy. My sidekick...ppl @ work even nicknamed me Boomer & I feel honored. & now when I need him the most he's gone. He's where I would bury my head & cry , now im running round searching for some one or something to bury it in & I can't find anything.
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Boomboom

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Reply with quote  #15 
I'm a 39 yo man who works on electricity & grew up playing sports & so on but now I feel like a lost little boy that all he wants is his dog back
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