I lost my beloved Fonzie to bladder cancer. He was a great dog, never had accidents in the house. A year ago, right after we moved into our new home, he started having accidents in the house. Everyone thought it was behavioral. I disagreed but no one believed me. His bloodwork came back normal. Nothing seemed wrong.
Finally, I insisted something was wrong in late August. They found a large, necrotic tumor on his bladder.
I learned that this type of cancer is Terminal. The vet gave him 1-2 years. We figured he had already had it a year, so it would be 6 months or so.
We had vowed to make it the best six months ever. We went out and bought all kinds of supplies for cleaning up constant accidents.
There is one medicine to treat this cancer, but it only slows it down.
Unfortunately, my guy had a reaction to the med and died in my arms from an internal bleed three weeks after his diagnosis.
He had slowed down a bit, but otherwise acted normal. He was also 8 years young.
Even though we knew what was wrong, I can't tell you how much I blame myself for what happened. I should have known he was bleeding out from the medicine. I should have done...oh about a hundred things different in those weeks. I am truly devastated. I understand your grief on many levels. Seeing the blood. The guilt. The self blame. Having a surviving dog that you can hardly look at because of the guilt and the worry.
I am lost without my Fonzie. I have two young children and one more coming in the next couple weeks. Yet, I am grief stricken and can think of little else except how much I miss him and how horribly he died.
You are in the right place. We all feel the loss of our pets very deeply.
I wish I had other comfort to offer you. We just have our stories and our support.
I will love and miss you forever, My Fonzie Bear...