Got first kitten(jacky) a year and half ago she was gifted to my little brother,soon after we grew more and more attached to her so we decided to get her a spouse(leo),took a while to get used to each other ,but the poor guy never seemed to get used to us as he missed the family that gave him away,after 4 months the first litter was born as i woke up to sound of screaming kitten,two kittens born dead and only one survived,jacky seemed in shock as she was still not even bothering to clean remaining kitten which still had placenta attached,tried to comfort her and she finally started to take care of her kitten(lacey).
Lacey grew strong and lovely and she became attached to me,sleeping on my lap while i am gaming, watching tv with me,sleeping with me on my pillow and loved to snuggle.
After 3 months of lacey's birth, jackey gave birth to another litter of two kittens which we called (candy) and (crush), around that time leo started repeatedly vomiting all of a sudden, i brought him to the vet and started him on anti vomiting meds and antibiotics,the vet said that he needed his vaccination but we have to wait till my new born kittens is old enough to vaccinate leo and lacey,as the time went leo got worse and refused to eat anymore so we started him on IV fluids and meds,as he got weaker and weaker that he couldn't walk straight anymore, i rushed to veterinary hospital where they recieved him and took an x-ray of his stomache and found out that he has intestinal obstruction, by that time he was so weak to get him into surgery,the surgeon said that the case is hopeless and he will not survive anaesthesia,i decided to gamble rather than see him suffer needlessly despite the cost of the operation and low chance of survival,for 2 hours i waited praying for him to survive,the vet came out and said that he needs complete rest and no feeding for next 5 days and complete antibiotic course,i was elated that he survived and called home to tell them good news and asked them to come get medication and pick us up, however by the time they got to me leo went into shock and died,needless to say i was devastated,between the hapiness of his survival and the brutal let down of his death ,i cried my heart out and started going into depression.
I decided to get remaining 4 cats and go on a 3 day vacation to recharge my energy and then came back...
A week later the small kittens almost one month old started to show signs of illness one had a diarrhea and the other started vomiting,went to hospital and they said it might have been an infection that spread through jacky's milk as she was nursing them, at that time lacey-3 month old then- would still join in and nurse with her siblings so we started four of them on antibiotics.
Three days later my kitten candy would rush to water bowel and stay there, i took them to hospital and vet said they had inflated stomachs and stool is not passing out and as they are young we can't surgically intervene,we tried to give them an enema to get rid of whatever is blocking the way,they both screamed from pain and started to squirm but nothing came out,the vet said the we have to repeat enema every 4 hours till whatever foreign body in there is out,went home depressed and they died 2 hours later.
I had only 2 cats left so decided to take caution and go get them both checked and got x-ray for both,we started lacey on broad spectrum antibiotic injection and IV therapy as doctor said that she might have feline panleukopenia so after 4 days of therapy and IV fluid she is not getting better with increased vomitiong and bloody stool we rechecked and got a new x-ray which showed intestinal obstruction and gases,we asked surgeon if she can undergo surgery and he said she so young to survive.
She lying beside me dying and i am having panic attacks and i can't breath....she can't stand up for long only to change her posture,she came to sleep beside me in same position she used to since she was young and i couldn't take it anymore and started weeping...never ever in my life have i cried this much...she lies beside me dehydrated and ulcered and every time she looks at me with her sunken eyes and i pet her and she squints a part of me dies....i feel so helpless and i can only apologise for putting her through the pain of medication all for my selfishness....everytime i decide to let go,one look at her as she hanging on to me and i can't help but cry and my heart starts racing out of control,i have been isolated with her for 3 days in my room,between vomit and blood i can't seem to let go.
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My dear, I only wish I'd seen your post earlier. I understand you are very depressed, and rightly so after all you've been through with the losses of your precious kitties.
Right now though, we need to think of Lacey and doing what is best for her. Intestinal obstruction is very, very painful! If she has been suffering beside you for 3 days, please take her to the vet and have the vet let her go peacefully. Believe me when I say you will not want to look back and think you allowed your beloved cat to suffer so. This is the time to show how much you love her.
Put everything you are feeling aside and get her the help she needs now. You will be happy that you did.
Post here again my dear. I want to let you know that we are here for you to comfort you and get you through but right now please look after your dear Lacey's needs. If you can, stay with her while the vet helps her find peace. All my best wishes, Sam

I am editing to ask: is there anyone you can call for support to help you through this - to get Lacey to the vet and end this terrible suffering? I will pray for you and Lacey and hope to hear from you soon.
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I agree Lacy needs to be at peace. I know how hard it is to let go. I was there four years ago with my baby Punky. Animals have a way of trying to hang on until we are ready. Please don't let Lacy suffer any longer. I pray you find the strength to let her go and peace when she crosses.
Please keep us updated.
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My cat Timber became a lot like that with dehydration Kidneys gone due to his old age. I had a dog once that one of her pups ate something in the yard which cause obstruction. Nothing could be done either so sadly had to cross The Bridge too.
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Lacey died earlier today in my arms,it turned out that i was hurting her my self while i was trying to remove her iv cannula,the skin was so fragile that when i removed the fixation, a part of skin tore,ended up hurting her more ,not easing her pain,as she took her last breath and her heart stopped i was shaking.
I put her down from my arms and went for a shower.
Afterwards i went to bury her only to discover damn dogs dug leo's grave and ate the corpse,saw remaining fur and tail ,don't know why but i started laughing,took lacey back and returned home.
After cooling down for abit went back and dug a grave for her and surrounded it with rocks.
I am so tired,worst period of my life,the amount of bad luck seems unreal,i feel so empty and my hands still shaking.
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I am very sorry for all these losses stacked together. What a terrible time you've had!  Awful as all of this is, I'm thankful Lacey is no longer ailing. I hope you can start to heal now. I know the pain and tears will be with you for some time and it is a lot to get over. Write here as much as you need to. I hope talking with others will help you know you're not alone in your suffering and with your broken heart.  Take care of you while your grief is so, so raw.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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