BeachieGirl33
Little, my furbaby cat went to the Rainbow Bridge on Feb. 24, 2016. He was 18 years old on Feb. 4, 2016.  He had cancer.  He had 3 surgeries and we did all we could for him but I still feel like I should have done more.  He stopped eating and was so weak.  It was time so it was done at home in his favorite spot - in front of his stove heater in his bed.  All this being said, my heart is broken and I am devastated.  Wednesday will be 3 weeks and I still can't stop crying.  I do ok in the daytime.  I try to stay busy. But nighttime is the worst.  Little slept with me every night so I'm not sleeping well.  I miss him so much.  This hurt is like nothing I've had before.  Putting Little to sleep is the hardest thing I've ever had to do besides the situation I had to go through with my Mother when I lost her.  We lost our other cat, Batman, on May 28, 2014 and I'm still grieving for him.  It took me a month before I could talk about him without crying.  He passed on his own in my arms.  He had kidney failure.  He was 13.  I don't work so I looked after both of them and was with them pretty much 24/7.  I am so lost.  If I could just hold my Little and tell him I love him just one more time.  I know they are together at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for me and my husband, their Mom and Dad.  I am keeping a journal as it helps to write my feelings down.  I am hoping someone here can help me.  I know I have to take it one day at a time.  Any help will be greatly appreciated.  And my heart goes out to everyone here who has lost their baby. May God bless everyone here.
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EM
God is faithful and grants us peace and strength. He loves His creation, such as the animals whom He cares for much greater than we could. There are links to a page with Bible scriptures here on this website where the links are to the forums and chatrooms. They will grant comfort and reassurance. I'll say some prayers for you. I know what you are going through with wondering whether or not you did enough. I get hit with that too. Pray for wisdom and faith. Having faith gives us strength. My pooch went through a similar time as your kitty did but they are in a better place now with their Creator God. I struggle early in the day yet at night after a day's worth of interaction with others it's easier. I do a lot of praying too, so that is what truly helps. Like yourself, I've always been very close with my animals so it's difficult when it's God's time for them in this chapter of life to enter into eternal life with God. God loves them more than we do and God cares for them better than we do. So may we take comfort in that fact. Many hugs and smiles for you and if you need someone for support, you're more than welcome to reply whenever you like.
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BeachieGirl33
Thank you so much.  I am religious and have prayed a lot - both before and after Little's passing.  I trust in God with all my heart and know I couldn't get through this or anything else in life without him.  I know some people believe animals don't have souls and don't go to heaven.  But if I didn't believe that my babies will be with me when I go to Heaven, how could I get through this? I do take comfort that Little is well now and those horrible lumps that took him from me are gone now. He is free now and in God's care.  But I miss him so much that it physically hurts and it feels like my heart has been ripped out. I forgot to post that Little was a tuxedo cat and to me the most handsome cat in the world.  Even when he lost weight and had a horrible lump on his back, he was handsome and proud.  He loved to eat and clean himself, so I knew that when he quit eating and grooming, time was growing short.  He will always be in my heart, along with his brother Batman. 
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EM
If I may I'd also like to add that I know what you mean when you've said that you needed some time prior to talking about your pets without crying. The same thing happened to me. I think writing in your journal as you are doing is a very positive thing. There are many unique ways that you can express your thoughts and feelings when you are emotionally ready to do so. Focusing on all of the positive family experiences too that you've shared with your pets is also very wonderful and encouraging. Staying active and positive is so very important.

It's truly amazing that yes even kitties and poochies are identical when it comes to how God created them to be so innocent and perfect. Even when they get older or sick during this season of life, they are absolutely beautiful and precious in each and every possible way. God gives them to us as gifts, to care for and to learn from, yet God is always in control and protects them throughout. We as humans though need to trust our Creator and entrust Him with our faith, for which He provides, and with the blessings and gifts for which He grants. I've been through the same hurt that you are going through, so I know how difficult it is. In my topics that I've wrote here you'll read just how much pain I'm going through, like yourself. I know from personal experience that it's so very hard but I also know for an absolute fact that God's love is absolute and it is unconditional. May God, according to His will bless you and grant you with His grace and peace.
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Sasha
Ollie my cat want to the bridge on Feb 20th 2016 so like you it's early days and I still find it hard to accept he's gone. Ollie was only 3 yrs old and was only attending vets for 2 was with what we thought was a virus but it turned out to be FIP which is not treatable. Like you I feel I could have done more but it was obviously their time to go.. God must have needed 2 more angels in heaven. I still cry every day and feel robbed of so many years but at the same time am so thankful for the 3 we had. I know what you mean when you say the hurt is like nothing you've had before, I've had other pets put to sleep before and while it was heartbreaking it didn't feel like this . I adopted a kitten last week and it's helped a bit,even though I did feel a bit guilty for bringing a new one ihome so soon but I think Ollie would be happy with her and would want me to feel better. Little had a great long life, you obviously looked after him very well and I'm sure he lived you for all you did for him. Take care of yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

Annette
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BeachieGirl33
Oh my gosh! EM I went and read your posts about your sweet pooch and what you went through. I'm so sorry. What you went through is unimaginable.  I thought I fought through a lot with my Little and Batman.  Batman had kidney failure and maybe he had some cancer too.  We fought with him from Sept. 2014 until May 28, 2015. Some nights I slept with him on my chest sitting up.  The last month all he would eat was chicken tenders from Bojangles with the breading taken off.  My husband would sit outside on our porch holding him for hours. He would yowl for me in the night and lay down in his litter box. I finally put down pee pads so he didn't have to go to the box.  My husband learned to give him fluids.  Little would jump on the table to watch.  Little was older but Batman was always the dominant one.  Batman would torment Little when he was younger but as they aged together Little tolerated him.  Batman got so weak we knew we had to make a decision.  I prayed for God to take him so I didn't have to make that decision. My prayer was answered when he passed in my arms on his own. I had Little to help me after I lost Batman but I still grieved terribly.  Now I have lost Little and I'm just lost.  Little fought his battle from April 2015 until Feb. 24, 2016.  Countless vet visits, 3 surgeries.  And at his age it was not easy. At his first surgery in Sept. my goal was to get him to Christmas, which I did.  Then my goal was his birthday on Feb. 4, 2016, which I did.  He turned 18 years old which I'm told is really old for a cat.
But what EM went through makes my journeys look mild.  Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me and try to make me feel better when you are going through hell.  And Sasha thank you also for trying to help me.  Maybe we can all help each other through this torture.  Little was my shadow.  My everything.  I grieved for Batman and still do but Little is different. He was special.  I knew it was coming but was not prepared for it.  EM and Sasha I know you are grieving for your babies too, so thank you so much for your support.  I know that all of them are waiting for us at the Rainbow Bridge!
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