Hello everyone. I lost my best friend yesterday and it was so sudden and so quick and I feel as though I can’t even breathe from the pain of it.

Pudley was a westie cross and he was an absolute character. He was the heart of our household, always keeping us safe and providing us with constant laughs and company.

It started early Tuesday morning when he vomited at 5am which is not unusual for him as he often eats grass and leaves at bedtime and then occasionally vomits them back up in the morning! By 9am he had vomited a couple more times but he had also had horrendous watery diarrhoea so it was at this point that I phoned the vet and was given an appointment at 2pm. Over the next hour he became very upset and distressed and he began shaking so I phoned the vet again and begged them to see him sooner as I just knew this was bad. They gave me an appointment for 12.30pm.

We took him down and got him seen and were reassured that there had been lots of bugs going around and that they would keep him in overnight, do blood tests and keep him on fluids. If his bloods came back abnormal he would be taken to the emergency vets where he would have surveillance through the night. I just wish I had asked them to do this anyway but I was reassured that his bloods were normal and he would be fine.

The next morning we received a call to say that he was very poorly, that he had been bleeding from his bottom and that his glucose level was so low that he had almost gone into a coma and had been suffering seizures. The vet gave him diazepam and we rushed down to see him and it is a site that will haunt me forever.

He was lay on a table, covered in tubes and shaking violently and crying. He noticed that we were there as he opened his eyes when he heard us but other than that he didn’t respond. We were told that he would be need to be taken to the other vets for further care but that they couldn’t see him until 2pm. It was 9am at this point and I wish i could go back in time and just plead that he been seen straight away.

When it became time to take him in he was bundled into blankets and I carried him to our car and curled him up into my lap and he looked and me and knew I was there. He was breathing fine, but not moving and at that point he closed his eyes when I blew on them. Something he had stopped doing when we arrived at the vets. My husband believes that he may have “gone” during the car ride but his body was still going. I like to think that he went in my arms knowing he was safe and loved.

We arrived at the vets and he was unresponsive. We were told his protein was extremely low and that his chances were slight but not hopeless so we were adviced to go home.

15 minutes after arriving home we received a call to say that he has crashed but the had managed to get his heart going again but he couldn’t breathe unassisted and he had to have repeated adrenaline to keep his heart going and his blood pressure was too low to be providing his organs with enough to keep him going. It was time.

We rushed back to him and the sight of his poor body lying there unresponsive makes me feel sorrow to my core. We spent a few minutes telling him how loved his is and how always will be, how we will miss his face at the dinner table and how I will miss holding him at night for the entirety of my life. He went peacefully with my face to his telling him he will always be with us and will always be loved.

We were told that he had suffered a severe bowel infection that had turned to sepsis that had caused other complications that ultimately led to severe brain damage.

I just can’t help but think that he would have made had we not left him, had we asked for him to be transferred, had we had realised how severe this was, how we should have treasured him more.

The sense of loss and sorrow I feel for him deserving more, that he should have had more time is unbearable. He loved life so much and it was far far too soon to lose him. He would have been 9 on the 19th feb.

I don’t know what to I’m going to do, how I’m going to live without him. I loved him with my everything for the entire time I knew him and I can’t stand the thought of never seeing his little daft face again or feeling him snoring in my arms. Please help me. How can this be?? I don’t understand.

I just want him back.
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I am very sorry for your loss of your sweet, adorable Pudley. It is normal to feel like you should have done more but you did all that you could and trusted the vets. It's clear he was very much loved and had a wonderful life. You held him and put your face to his, and he was able to go peacefully, knowing how much he was loved.

There are many wonderful and compassionate people here who understand what you are going through.

My condolences,
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