After a few days of fighting symptoms at the ER that the vets couldn’t figure out, my precious Newf Misty’s heart gave out shortly after I visited her Sunday night. I was so hoping they could find out what was wrong and be able to treat her but in the end there was just too much going on. That she went through all that for nothing and also had to be away from home when she’s never been kenneled breaks my heart. I just didn’t want to give up on her until we knew what was happening, but not to be. Just wish I’d still been there for her so she wasn’t alone in a strange place.

I know we are lucky to have gotten her past 10 when so many Newfs don’t see that number. She was crazy in her youth and became a sweet elder stateswoman. But she still got so excited when she knew she was going for a ride or a walk – and especially going to the water.  She wasn’t really swimming anymore, but this spring as we’ve been training she still jumped for joy at being there, wading, getting her toy, and of course the treats. She always slept next to me and I know I’ll be reaching to pet her during the night for a long time to come.

There are no words to truly express what she’s meant to me. I hope she knew how very much we loved her and the utter joy she’s brought to my life. What I’ve learned from her can never be measured. And all her kisses have been priceless. She adored her older sister and they are now together again.

Our mantra: Mommy loves you, Mistykins – to the moon and beyond, little one – to the moon and beyond, munchkin.

Having a very hard time that it turns out she suffered needlessly those last few days and that I wasn't there. I was only gone maybe 30 minutes when they called that she arrested. I didn't want to leave that parking lot - think I knew this might happen - and took forever to back up and turn away. My precious girl needed me and I wasn't there.

Sailorbear’s Sea Mist, CD, RN, WRD, DD, CGC, TDI, 2/6/2000 – 6/13/2010

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Dear Debbie,

I can feel the heartache in every word you wrote.  I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

What a wonderful life Misty had with you!  She knows how much you love her, and she will never be more than a whisper away from you, your special angel forever.  I believe that sometimes they wait to leave until we have turned our backs.  Sometimes, they prefer to go that way.

Although you feel guilty for how she spent her final days, I can tell you that if you hadn't tried so hard to help her, you would have always wondered if there was something more you could have done for her.  It's a double-edged sword, and it hurts so much when our best efforts go unrewarded.  As it is, Misty knows how hard you fought to keep her here with you, comfortable and healthy, as long as possible.  I'm so sorry it wasn't meant to be.

Misty and her sister are forever young and healthy, flying among the angels now. I can picture my Bridge Kitties jumping on her strong back and hanging on for dear life as they soar through the heavens.  The ride of a lifetime!

Please come back and share your happy memories of life with Misty as they return to the forefront of your mind.  It really does help to tell their stories, and we love getting to know them through the words of their loving people.

You and your beautiful Angel Misty are in my thoughts and prayers.

My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley




In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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What a precious one Misty is!  I know we all feel like they are our children but I bet she was like having a perpetual little cute and cuddly!  I know this is going to be a very difficult time for you.  Please know that I and everyone is here for you.  There is such caring support here....someone called them our rainbow friends and I love that expression.  Even though time keeps marching by, we all still remember and feel the loss of our special one and can sympathize & empathize fully with you.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Thank you for your kind words and posts. I do know that if we had given up on her, I would've felt the rest of my life that maybe we could've helped her and didn't, so thanks for that affirmation. I know we do the best we can and it's all because of love, and sometimes it just isn't enough. I never wanted to see her suffer. But so hard that we can't explain to them why they're in this place and hurting and that we're trying to help.

I reached down this morning to where she normally would've been by my bed and just stroked thin air. Going to go through some more pictures as they do make me smile.

Thanks again.
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I do have another poem that someone else posted first....

I Haven’t Left At All

I saw you gently weeping as you looked through photographs
You paused for just a moment at one that made you laugh.
But as you turned more pages the tears began to flow
You whispered that you missed me but I want you to know;
I softly licked those stinging tears that down your cheeks did fall
I want to help you understand I haven’t left at all.

On those days that you are overcome with sorrow, pain and grief
I rest my head upon your leg to offer some relief.
When you take our walking path I’ve seen you turn around
Because I know you surely heard my paws upon the ground.

At night while you are sleeping I snuggle at your side
You stroke my fur as you touch that place where I used to lie.
You said it’s just your heart playing tricks upon your mind
But rest assured I’m really there, my spirit’s left behind.

I know your heart is hurting; it’s like an open sore
You think my life has ended and you won’t see me anymore.
But for those of us bound tight by love, death is not the curtain call;
It’s really the eternal beginning that waits for us all
So, dear Master as you live your life I patiently await
For us to be together when you pass through Heaven’s gate.

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