I haven’t really had the energy to cry over the loss of my cat, Cupcake. I feel guilty for not bawling my eyes out over her death... but I suppose I can’t really process it. It doesn’t feel real. And with the lack of tears to release the stress, it’s all directing itself towards my body and hurting me in the end. I had to go to urgent care just a few days ago because my stomach has been in so much pain. I’ve been unable to eat, drink, or even just relax without pain up until yesterday. But soon after the pain from THAT receded, I’ve developed laryngitis. This feels like my worst year yet. I want to cry now, but I can’t because if I do it’ll worsen the laryngitis. My room feels empty and cold every time I enter it. Nothing feels the same. I’m holding attachment to useless items that the cat never really cared about... but I see that it had a use for her somehow, so I want to keep it for as long as I can. Sleeping is horrible and feels almost like a chore. I’ve spent hours thinking about her tonight and wishing that she was with me. I want to feel her warm body again. I vividly remember having the vet tell me she had a special type of fur that was super soft. I miss that fur. I miss everything about her.
I at least want my sickness to pass so I can cry without being in pain or risking doing further damage to my voice. This all just sucks... I’ve never been this stressed out before in my LIFE. I’ve never had my body resort to attacking itself because I’ve had so much psychological pain.
I’m just tired of all of this crap coming at me. Does anyone have any home remedies for these kinds of things?
Thank you all.
Dream little one! You can run and jump and climb again! For always! Dream little one, and I will dream with you.