elb9f
We lost our beloved Sammy two days ago from liver failure.  I'm just devastated and can't get past the guilt that I feel about her loss.  Sammy had high liver values in October and, after an ultrasound, cell analysis, and negative cushings test, the specialists were at a loss.  They discussed a biopsy, but since she was otherwise normal in every respect, they said we could hold off.  At the same time, our older doxie, Greta, had high liver values, and they found a large cancerous tumor.  She had that removed in January and is now in radiation treatment for a sarcoma in her mouth.  Sammy all the while was acting fine - she was the "healthy" dog.  A week ago today she starting with stomach issues, and by Monday night we had her in the ER.  We transferred her to a second, more specialized ER by Tuesday, and they diagnosed her with chronic hepatitis and she did not respond to the treatment.  We had to say our goodbyes by Friday.  

I miss everything about her.  Being stuck in the house during this quarantine makes everything so much worse.  I can't stop crying, and my spouse and kids aren't as demonstrative in their grief as I am so I was seeking an outlet to help me through this pain and the guilt that I cannot shake.  I wish I'd followed up in the fall with a biopsy.  I hate that I feel like I let my Sammy down.
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Ceecee123
You did not let Sammy down!
You loved your friend. 

I am so sorry about your loss friend. we are on day two of our loss and everything is raw but talking about it helps. Keep posting on her in this community, keep talking about your grief. We can make it through it  
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MelZip
I just lost my baby, Winston, to liver disease. He was acting normal and healthy until about three weeks ago, when I noticed he was jaundice.  Even through various ultrasounds and x-rays, fluid treatments, etc, he continued to act “normal.” The specialist said they could do an exploratory surgery to see what kind of cancer he may have, but I didn’t want to put him through it at 11 years old and his already weakened state. I say all this to let you know that I also feel guilt. Should I have done the surgery? Would it have given him more time, even though he was already in the advanced stages? All I know is that we try our best for the ones we love.  I feel so alone in my pain. My house will never be the same without him. It will be so sad and lonely. I hate being stuck here. 
Melissa Little
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elb9f
Thank you, @Ceecee123.  We were lucky to have her and she gave us so much joy.  We loved her so.  I just see her wagging her tail everywhere I go.  I am so sorry for your loss - I hope you get some comfort talking about your loved one too.

@MelZip: Melissa, I think the rational me knows that we did so much for our girl and I couldn't have known.  I just hate that my head goes to that place where I doubt myself.  I think things can happen so fast when the liver begins to fail.  And I know you gave Winston a wonderful life.  I hope we both start to quiet that "what if" voice in our heads.  Being in the house without the outlet of my office, or dinner with friends, or just any normalcy makes it hard to escape.
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Pecan_mom
I’m so sorry for your loss.  It’s been 19 days since I’ve lost my beloved dog Pecan.  I cry everyday sometimes all day because I miss him so much but I also feel guilty for not being able to do more to save her.  So many what ifs and I should haves!!  I loved her so much and since her death was sudden I will never know what caused it.  That’s why I blame myself for it. I had no idea this was coming she was happy and healthy all day with no history and passed away after 8!hours of being stable to passing away.  All I know is we all love our animals very much and want the best for them.  We were so lucky to have them in our lives.  I feel her everywhere and thought of her being here in spirit really helps me.  I’m praying for you.  Hopefully we will all feel better someday.  
Sp
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