I posted earlier about the loss of my Emmy. My grief has gotten no better. I sent my boyfriend a text trying to explain why I am feeling lost, not for him because he knows why. But for others that may not fully understand. This is what I sent

In the event people think i am crazy because I am so lost over Emmy being gone, hopefully this will help explain things.

I never had anxiety or depression until my dad got sick. Being so far away and not able to see him whenever i wanted affected me very deeply. I would become anxious because I knew he was dying and I could not be there. Having Emmy close to me so I could hold or pet her helped me to control the anxiety. Having something small that wants to be loved and held and loves you back is like a life ring when you start feeling like you are drowning. When dad died, it was almost impossible for me to function. But Emmy was right there by my side. She was with me when dad passed. She laid with him while we waited for him to be taken by the funeral home. I did not need her to be with me all the time because I knew she would be home waiting for me. Now she is not and that is why i feel lost. I don't like feeling this way and don't want to. But it is not something that can be helped or turned off. I don't want people to think I am crazy or can't take care of myself or my family. Right now I feel like I am going through the motions of daily life. I know I have other animals but they are different. They are not ones that can be held or sit in your lap. They don't always want to be petted or loved. Anyways, maybe this explains why this is so devastating to me.
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your Emmy. I went to your other post and saw how cute she was. Losing our friends is devastating. 

You aren't crazy at all. It's very normal after living through such a loss. We do what we have to to get through each day without our babies. We come home to an empty house now, get up in the morning without them waking us. It's a huge loss. Our lives are turned upside down and we don't feel like we want to take part in this world. Everything around us is moving, but we just want to stand still and go back to the way it used to be - with them - but we can't have that.

Wishing you serenity during this period of mourning


Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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My deepest condolences on your loss. I read both your posts and I think you explained very well why this loss has affected you so deeply. Those of us on this forum "get it" but unfortunately not everyone does. You can post here anytime. We are happy to try and help because we all understand how terrible it is to lose a beloved pet. I am also sorry for the loss of your dad. You've really had a lot to deal with and it must be so hard! Your other animals are not Emmy and they will never replace her but they may step up and try and really be there for you if you give them a chance. Animals have such good instincts. Take Care my dear and please write an update on how you are doing when you're feeling up to it.
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Going through the motions of everyday life is a good way to put it.

Nothing really can prepare you for the grief you go through when losing a little creature who becomes such an integral part of your daily existence. When they leave us, the void can seem unbearable.

One day at a time, my dear. It will get easier, but you never forget that little angel that graced your presence, especially at a time when you needed her most.

RIP Emmy. I had a kitty named Emilee. I used to call her Em Cat and I lost her to kidney failure last year. I hope Em Cat welcomed Emmy over the Rainbow Bridge.

Take care.
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