Rachel1974
Today we said goodbye to our darling girl Lucy, she left for the bridge in her usual manner of having to get the last word in.
We are so devasted as we have never had to make the decision to help a pet on their way, our last dog as stubborn as always went in her sleep.
I feel so guilty though and I can't stop crying, she went peacefully in seconds but when they sedated her before hand she sounded in so much pain it was unbearable, I let her down allowing that to happen, I wish the vet had just put her to sleep without sedating her 1st as this made her whine and cry, am I wrong to think that??
I keep looking at her bed and smelling it, we are beside ourselves here.
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Beaglemomma
I am not sure what happened but it is doubtful the sedation caused her any pain.  From my experience with 2 pets neither one experience pain with the sedation.  Granted that is not a LOT of experience but I can think of nothing in that particular procedure that would cause pain.  Not knowing what was wrong with your baby that is about all I can say to that.

Nevertheless you are grieving and that is what this site is all about.  Helping each other get through this AWFUL time.  No matter the circumstances we ALL seem to find a way to blame ourselves, so you are not alone in this. 

I certainly can relate to you being "beside yourselves" as we are still grieving daily, hourly for our Molly who crossed the Bridge at Thanksgiving.  Life will never be the same without her.

Feel free to talk to anyone here, say what you feel and no one will judge you here.  Wonderful compassionate people here to help you.  I will be holding you close in my thoughts as these first days are so very difficult.
head shot.JPG 
janice
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Baileysbro
Lucy is a cutie in that picture.

Sorry for your loss.
Bailey
October 31, 2002 - April 19, 2016 10:25 P.M.
My best friend, my companion, my love

[e8de4bc1-77ae-4da2-9834-109b68b6cda8]

[Paws-for-the-News-Grieving-the-loss-of-a-pet] 
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Rachel1974
Up until a few weeks ago Lucy had been fine, then she had a mini stroke but came through really well, she was tested for cushings disease that was confirmed positive yesterday. Last Saturday we took her to the vets as she was limping in her back leg, by the evening she had done lame in both back legs and was dragging them. Went back to vets in Tuesday where they thought she had a neurological problem affecting her spine maybe but seemed OK, was given Tramadol and up until yesterday evening was doing ok. Early hours of lastnight she was whining and wouldn't settle until I stayed with her until she fell asleep. Was still the same the same in the morning but ate and drank and went outside so settled her back off to sleep and went to work, 2 hrs later our dog walker popped in and found her in her side whinging again and rang us. I raced home and knew it was time.
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Maryann
I'm so sorry .I know how you feel. Tuesday I had to put down my dog Sebastian. I know in time will heal but Im so depress and always crying .I know he not in pain anymore. But I do miss him .so yes I know how you feel .she was cute .I had Sebastian for 14year .I pray time I will forgive myself.
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lizzie_252
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dog Lucy.  Having to euthanize your beloved animal is one of the most difficult decisions you have to make in your life, and I can relate to your pain and grief as I went through the same process with my cat Zizi sixteen days ago.  I doubt it, as someone said it earlier, that the sedation would have caused pain, unless it was just the needle itself.  But I understand your guilt and pain and I think every pet owner who had decided to end their beloved animal life has it. I am endlessly asking myself if I had made the right decision  and if I had done everything that could have been done.

My prayers and thoughts are with you during this difficult time. The only thing I can say is that the intensity of the grief slowly subsides with time, or rather it becomes more peaceful and accepting.

Hugs.

Liz
Ziz mom , 2002-2016

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JerseyNonna
i'm so sorry for your loss of your gorgeous lucy.  during the first weeks following a loss such as we've all had it seems as if a fog settles where we are so numb and nothing seems real - and we don't seem to care.  guilt also finds it's way into our heads and then all the "why's" assault our already weakened hearts from our loss.  please know that what you gave to lucy was the greatest act of love any of us can offer our fur-babies - that is the freedom to be relieved of pain, illness, age to cross the bridge to that most wondrous place where they are young, healthy and whole once more.  a place where they can all play together, maybe sun themselves belly up in the warm sunshine during a nice nap.  the sudden loss of my service dog roxie the evening after Christmas left me in shock and totally devastated.  think i was in a zombie type fog for at least the first two weeks after her passing and that night in the vet's office kept replaying through my mind like a dvd that was stuck in one particular place.  guilt crept in and had me thinking it was all my fault for every question that i thought of - could have driven me crazier than i was already over the loss of my girl.  finally i told myself that i had done everything in my ability to get her to the vet as soon as i could, that the vet and techs had done everything they could and that it was all in God's hands and because i had been in the exam room praying that he help roxie, i realized that he had helped her in the end by calling her home to a most wondrous place. 

as liz said so well above grief does subside in time.  i still have my bad days where thoughts and memories of roxie leave me crying and wishing she was still here with me but i also have days where those same memories make me smile and be so grateful that even though i only had 9 years with roxie, they were 9 awesome years that i never would have wanted not to have.  wish i could have had her with me longer but for whatever reason, it was simply her time to cross the bridge.  we're here for you and sending you many many hugs
JerseyNonna
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LUCYLULU
Rachael1974~~ I am so very sorry to read about your Lucy. What a sweetie...a beautiful girl. I lost my 14/3 Wheaten Terrier Lucy in November having had to make the decision to put her to sleep. It is wicked. Your brain doesn't want them to suffer any more but then your heart hurts so much. The replay, guilt, wonderful & missing them so much all wreak havoc on your mind & body. It really is because of the depth of our love. We hurt. Staying at home...or coming back home...'home' is just not the same place. Life is just not the same. 

All I can offer is to please be kind to yourself. It was because you loved Lucy so much, that you took her pain. Take it day to day & moment to moment. Talk to Lucy. Watch for signs. Write in a journal. All of these things have helped so many of us...just to get through each day. And come here often. It really helps. Everyone here truly understands because we are all grieving the loss of our best loves. Again I am sorry for what you are going through. Always know that Lucy loved you & loves you still...and forever! Hugs, Kasey
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Rachel1974
Thank you all for your messages and reading all the stories on here and tributes as been so helpful. You think your the only person in the world going through this pain but you are not. I cried myself to sleep lastnight and woke to Pixie our other dog snuggled up to me. The other dogs have been so quiet and Rossco our 3 legged terrier is now off his food over Lucy. Her lead, collar and harness still hang with the others and will be there forever.
I can hold in my heart that we saved her from a horrible home and gave her the best 5 years of her life. She came out every Sunday with us for breakfast and loved car journeys. I feel empty so empty xxxx
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Rachel1974
These are the other 3 in my life
Buddy, Roosco and little pixie xxx
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CKMP
Rachel1964 , I am so so sorry for your loss of Lucy.  The pain and emptiness can be so great it is difficult to put it into words - nothing is the same, feels the same or has the same meaning.  You need to lean on others and be kind to yourself.  My gone girl had Addison's disease - the opposite of Lucy's diagnosis. . . But there is much to say about her, but not now.  Lucy was loved and the bond you have is not broken, merely changed a bit.  I always try to think of the link with my girl Maggs, and everyone's as a slender golden thread, so fragile yet so strong that weaves and winds its way around and around two hearts - never to be undone, never to lose its glow and never to break.  Together forever.  It weaves it way around your other three beauties, Buddy, Roosco and little Pixie.  Hold them close, smell their fur, feel their softness.  Watch them as they watch you - they need you now as much I think as you need them.  I too have Maggs' sister with me and it is tough, but I know they grieve for their lost friend - and watch us closely.  Our grief becomes theirs to bear too I think .. . Be patient with yourself - many hugs and warm thoughts - Happy Mother's Day tomorrow for being mum to Lucy, Buddy, Roosco and little Pixie!
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