TamiD
Hello
I found this forum and am hoping it helps. I lost my sweet Australian Shepherd 2 days ago. He was only 10 years old and was so full of spry. My husband had him out on their usual morning walk and near the end of the walk Eriko let out a little yelp, kicked his leg out and fell over. He died instantly. My heart is ripped apart. He was my best friend, my baby. The pain is devastating, all I want to do is sleep. I cant stop crying and i dont eat i try to keep it together for my other dog because i know he is missing his best friend and I dont want him to slip into a depression as well. I keep trying tonrationalize why this happened. I gave him treats that I probably should not have, he really loved his Tim Bits. I keep thinking had I not fed him junk maybe he would still be here. Did I cause this, did I kill my boy? The thought of having to act normal and go into work today and everyday after is killing me. Knowing I will not be greated at the door when I get home like I always have been for 10 years.
How do I keep living when my boy is not here?
Tami
Quote 0 0
MyBella
Dear Tami,

I am so, so sorry for the sudden loss of your handsome Eriko, such a beautiful and distinguished photo of your handsome boy.

The sudden loss of such a loved and cherished member of your family is so difficult, but please try not to add guilt to your already broken heart, (easier said than done I know), but your precious Eriko wouldn't want you to feel any guilt, instead I bet your wonderful boy would want you to hold those special moments and memories that brought such love, laughter and joy to his loving Mom and Dad's lives, hold those treasured memories close to your heart and you will always feel the pure love of your precious boy......your handsome Eriko will make sure of that.

Wishing you peace and healing, may your heart always know and feel the light and love that is your Eriko. I am so sorry for your loss.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

Image result for in my heart forever pooh quotes


Quote 0 0
TamiD
Thank you Don & Vera.
I know I had pure love from Eriko. He was always the first to greet me when I got home from work. The first face I saw in the morning when I woke up. He was my rock when my brother was murdered last year. It is hard to imagine my life without him.
Tami
Quote 0 0
Iwalt22
I'm very sorry for the loss of your sweet Eriko. 

I lost my Apollo almost 2 months ago very suddenly as well.  He was 9 but he was full of energy and always ready to go.  He collapsed at the kennel when I picked him up.  He was so excited to see me he gave himself a heart attack or maybe had an Addisonian crisis.  He died at the vet just an hour later.  He had a good check up just 6 months before.  He gave no indication of having problems other than one small incident that I only understood in hindsight.

You are completely unprepared to lose them suddenly.  You think about what you'll do when they reach old age.  You don't think that one day they will be fine and the next they are gone forever.  

The guilt is normal.  You will second guess everything.  You did not kill him by giving him treats.  For me it was why didn't I take him to the vet sooner.  Why didn't I get that wart taken off his paw, maybe they would have found a problem.  Why didn't I take him to a closer vet when he collapsed.  Why didn't I find a better vet for him.  Why was I even gone and he had to be in the kennel.  It will go on and on.

But the reality is, which I am sure you are very familiar with, is that everything will end.  

Someone on here said that any one of else would do anything to get just one more year, one more month, week, hour or minute with our precious friend.  

Talk about him.  Tell us a story of the good times.  Remember that with such a strong love you had for him the grief is just as strong.  Everyone here understands what you are going through.  

But know that it will get easier.  The first couple of weeks are the hardest.  You can't eat.  You can't sleep.  You think he's just around the corner.  Every street is a street you walked down with him.  

For me going on 2 months I have adjusted.  I still have 2 boys to care for.  One of them is very mopey and I think he misses his friend.  But we still walk every day.  We play.  I have Apollo's Urn near me at all times.  I remember so many good times we had together.  I miss him so much but I truly believe that he waits for me at the Rainbow Bridge.  

He reached the destination we are all headed towards, he just got there before me.  

Please take care of yourself.  For me I had to have a smoothie, couldn't eat solid food.  Try to eat. Try to  sleep and know that time will help.  Take care of your family and have renewed appreciation for what you still have.  

Big hugs to you and know that peace will come in time.  
Quote 0 0
TamiD
Thank you Iwalt22
It really helps knowing I am not alone and the compassion on this forum is amazing
Quote 0 0
Karensmith
Tami,

How is the grieving process going for you? I lost my boy suddenly 4 weeks ago in a similar way. I feel like I’ve hit a new stage in the grief process. I find myself looking at dog rescue websites considering adopting in the future but then I have a panicky feeling and realize I’m not ready although I feel my husband and teen are giving me a little pressure to consider it sooner rather than later. I still shed tears about him everyday but it’s better than it was the first couple weeks when getting through the day seemed nearly impossible. How has your other dog dealt with the loss?
Quote 0 0
TamiD
Hi Karensmith.
It is getting easier my heart still hurts but I dont cry as much because I am now at the point of focusing on what a gift he was for me. Thinking about him still brings tears to my eyes but I know he is always in my heart.
We did get another puppy already because my family figured it will help with the healing process and also my Husky was falling into a major depression without his companion.
The puppy does help the healing but she will never replace my boys spot in my heart.
I think it will be better once I have his ashes home with me.
I hope you find comfort knowing that your sweet pup is always with you. They never leave you even though they left this world.
Quote 0 0
Karensmith
Yes the goodbye is the hardest part of owning a dog! Thx!
Quote 0 0