My beloved Toby passed away unexpectedly on November 4th. I had been out of town and went I picked him up from the private boarder, they told me that just the day before huit had started limping. By the time I got him, he wouldn't even put his back paw down. It was Sunday and my vet is only open for 1/2 day, but I felt I should take him in anyway. I called and spoke to my vet and he said he would wait if I wanted to bring him in. When the vet examined him, he determined that it was sprained and not broken. So he wrapped the leg and we were on our way.
We went back in on Tuesday, the vet removed the bandage and we noticed Toby had a fever. Toby received a double does of antibiotics, a prescription and we were on our way. What we didn't know was that Toby had an infection. A very aggressive infection.
I slept on the floor with him for the next two nights because he was unable to make it up the stairs. Rushed him back to the vet Thursday morning and he passed Friday afternoon. I held him as he passed and my vet sat on the floor and wept with me.
I can't get passed the last 72 hours of Toby's life. He was in so much pain. Toby was such an incredible, loving, nurturing animal. He saved my life. He really was my best friend. I miss him so much. I can't get past this sadness. It's been 23 days and I’ve cried for him everyday.
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Dear Beth:

I am so very sorry for your sudden loss of your beloved best friend Toby.  You must feel that your heart is shattered into a million pieces and your whole life feels like sadness and tears with little happiness getting in.

Unfortunately we cannot walk around grief, we have to walk through it.  Your sadness and tears are a normal part of grief and reflect the depth of the love you and Toby's had for each other.  Time will not heal your loss, but time will give you space to process the shock and disbelief of your loss and your grief.  However, time can never  take away your love and memories of Toby.  He will always be with you and watching over you.  He knows you were his perfect parent and cared for him as much or more than you care for yourself.  

In the early days of our loss, we focus on the days around when we lost our fur babies. But again time does allow some of the sad memories to fade and gives us space to remember the joyful memories and hold them in our hearts.

If Toby could speak with you today, he would say that he loves you and thank you for the wonderful life you gave him.  He knows you are heartbroken but would ask you to grieve for him, remember him, and celebrate him and when you are able to let your sorrow go freely and in peace and hold him in your heart with joy forever.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, hugs Cynthia.

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I am so sorry for your loss.  When you lose your baby so unexpectedly, it is so hard.  I have been where you are.  I cried real tears for a solid week, and still get teary eyed when I start missing my little sweetie.  Like you, Abby was my world.  She always loved me unconditionally, and always wanted to be there with me.  I hope you talk to Toby when you have some alone time, and let him know how much you miss him.  It helped me, because I truly believe they can hear us.  I can guarantee you that Toby is happy and waiting on you at the Rainbow bridge.  Toby would want you to be happy too.  He knows you loved him, and out of all the cats you could of chosen, it was him.  There is only so much we can do for our babies, and sometimes fate steps in and takes them away.  Hugs for healing, and I will keep you both in my prayers.
David Norton
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It sounds like you all you could, Beth.  I share your pain.  It's so hard to lose a dog who has shared a part of your life with you.  All the fun times you had with Toby are your memories and nothing can take those from you, so cherish the time he spent with you and if you feel like crying, then do so.  Like Cynthia said, we have to "walk through grief."  It's a tough process, though; I know.

Do you have a picture of Toby that you can share?
Salinas, CA
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This is Toby. He was only 8 years old when he passed...
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Oh, what a gorgeous boy Toby was! I'm so sorry to learn about your loss. Our animal friends hide their symptoms so well, it can be really hard for us to understand the very subtle signs of pain, discomfort, or illness. My heart goes out to you now and I'm wishing you a kind and gentle path to healing.
In one of the stars, I shall be living. In one of them, I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night. -- The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

All tears are healing tears.  They help to wash away our sorrow and allow the first buds of happiness to blossom in our hearts. -- Susie "Squillions"

A fresh start after 947 posts. March 7th, 2011. I've been coming to this wonderful site since April 6, 2004.
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So sorry for the loss of your Toby...It is so hard to get beyond the grief.  It's been 6 weeks since my Rosie was run over by a garbage truck and taken from us so tragically.  I wish I had been able to say goodbye to her...that's what hurts the most.  You were very lucky in that Toby knew how much love you had for him and you were with him to the end.  I had Rosie 10 years and the pain of losing her is still just so much to bear.  I've been able to get my mind off of her now when I'm at work, but the first couple of weeks were the worst and I still cry every day.  Hugs to you and your family.  It will get better.
Denise Von
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Beth, I am so sorry for your loss of Toby. I know how hard this is for you. I lost my beautiful golden unexpectedly. He was 6 weeks from 7. He was fine then died in his sleep. It was devastating as I know this is for you. I am pushing through my 18weeks now without him. I can tell you that it does take many weeks and tears to come to the realization that they are just not going to be in our lives anymore, at least physically. I know my baby Tony is with me and your baby Toby is with you. Keep coming here and talking about it. You will get through this. Your story was so sad to read and you did everything you could. There are so many times that I wish I could have done something. But, in the end, it was their time and you were as blindsided as I was. It really is a devastating loss. The pain is unbearable at times but we are here for you! My deepest condolences at this hard time in your life...
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Tobysmom08 wrote:
This is Toby. He was only 8 years old when he passed...

I'm so sorry Beth. At least you got to cherish 8 years with Toby. Unfortunately the same thing happened to my Copper and I lost him at 3 years. It was around 4 months ago and I am still heart broken. I got a new puppy and I love him to bits and he reminds me so much of my poor boy. One day when you're ready to open your heart to another dog in need it will heal you a lot.
Rest In Peace Toby.
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I`m so sorry for your loss of Toby - its so very hard when we lose our beloved animals, and the first few days and weeks are heartbreaking learning to live without them. Its almost 12 months since we had to have our special dog Jim put to sleep, and the pain and grief was unbearable at times - I couldn`t really see how to go on without him. But eventually, time does have a way of lessening that sadness, and happier memories do start coming through. I remember that during the first couple of weeks I found myself only focusing on Jim`s last few days/hours, instead of all the wonderful happy years we`d shared with him - and I think that`s so true of a lot of us here, but it does get better bit by bit.
 I started writing all my memories down in a journal, and that helped so much, as well as finding this brilliant forum. Everyone here understands exactly how you feel right now, and just reading all the other posts helps you feel like you`re not alone in your grief. Sending you peace and healing.
Jackie x
J Taylor
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I know your pain and you must cry.  Sometimes you will cry a year from now like I have today.  It just hurts and time heals but I don't think the pain ever leaves completely.  It makes us more humble to the fragility of life and how most of what we worry about is of little or no consequence.  Peace to you friend.

Roberts Mom
Jacks Mom
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