I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel when you say it's hard to live in a house that was set up especially for your baby. We moved to a different city so we could buy a one story house. We were living in a two story and my precious baby boy Cody was having difficulty navigating the stairs. The last 3 months we lived in the two story I slept downstairs on a mattress in the living room so Cody wouldn't have to go down the stairs and back up after going to the bathroom outside. We moved into our house September of last year and in November found out he had a brain tumor. He passed away January 11th of this year after we were only able to enjoy him in our new home for 4 months. The house was basically for him. We had a park across the street and he was just getting used to the neighborhood and finding new routes to walk. Everything reminds me of him and the house is just not the same anymore. It doesn't mean anything to me without him. Life is so very hard and empty now without him in it. Being stuck in here with the COVID virus shutdown is hard too because I can't get out and do things to distract me like I used to. He was my baby, my little white shadow, the child my husband and I never had together. My heart is broken too. I am usually at the midnight candle ceremony so maybe I will see you there.
"Grief only exists where love lived first."--Franchesca Cox