SAOIRSE
My oldest baby, Harvey, was put to sleep a week ago. Although he was almost sixteen, blind and deaf, I did not want to let him go. But my husband made the decision. I am totally heartbroken, and guilt ridden. Should I have fought for his life, or let him go. I miss him so much, the pain of his loss is unbearable. I am struggling to survive his enormous loss.
MARIA MULLIGAN
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Tankie12

Maria I’m soo sorry. I know how overwhelmed you are with the pain of Harvey’s death. It’s like no other because they are like no other with the never ending unconditional love they give us. They are entwined in our daily life, and than they’re not. Each day feels surreal.

You didn’t mention what size dog he is. Sixteen years is pretty amazing even though looking back it feels like a blink in time and you wish so desperately for a restart, a do over. 

I think the only way I’ve survived is by believing  we are all souls and souls exist beyond physical death. I feel my girl in little ways so often. I’ve had moments that I know she’s still close to me. 

I'm happy you found your way here. You are now surrounded by others who understand your pain and offer words full of empathy and support, hugs to you Maria

Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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SAOIRSE
HI Tankie, I am so grateful for your lovely message. My Harvey was only a little fella, about the size of a yorkshire Terrier. He was my world. I carried him up the stairs every night, and lay him on my bed. Then I would share a night time treat with him. The sorrow of him not being here anymore has brought me to my knees. I just hope it was the right thing to do, but had it been left to me I would never have parted with him. I hope he knew just how precious and loved he was. I love your idea that we all have souls and that we will see our fur babies again. This would be the most wonderful comfort of all. Thank you so much for your message, it has comforted me so much.
MARIA MULLIGAN
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Lis84
I'm feeling it too, my man was put to sleep yesterday. The heaviness in the house and the knots in the stomach is awful. Last night and this morning were particularly tough, i feel a sense of claustaphobia being inside because everything reminds me of him. I left the house to be with family today and felt much better, i bought a tree to plant for remembrance but still the memories flood back wherever i look. 
I believe animals adjust better to the spirit world and will give us signs but its the physical aspect i yearn for.
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Patch_Mom
Dear SAOIRSE/ Maria, I'm so sorry about your little Harvey. I understand as I lost my little boy Patch after he just turned 15. He was partially deaf and vision was beginning to change.  In the past few months his mind wasn't as on point all the time as it had been either - he was super sharp. It's so hard to see them lose their abilities.  No matter what age, it's devastating to let them go.  If you think in terms of dog age instead of human, Harvey was 80. This helps me put into perspective as you think and feel like 15 or 16 is a teenager and we're not doing enough to keep them with us. But in reality, they are geriatric and their bodies and minds are far advanced and growing weaker. You likely spared Harvey further decline or suffering - I personally feel that's the greatest gift we can give our babies, as hard as it is for us. I too believe we'll all be together again and in the meantime - love never dies, you continue to love Harvey and he continues to love you. ❤

Jennifer
Patch's Mom
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SAOIRSE
Dear Jennifer, thank you so much for your lovely message. I am so sorry to hear about Patch. I am holding on to the message that I spared my baby further decline, as my heart tries to heal. Yes, also that I will see Harvey again. Thank you so much for taking the time to message me.
MARIA MULLIGAN
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