christik999
hi
im new here . im Christi I lost my shih Tzu Lola the end  of December .she had breast cancer was full of tumors and I had to have her put down .she was 10 yrs old . its been 7 months and im just not getting better . her ashes are still in the pretty little bag on my shelf in a nice wooden box I cant bare to see them touch them . I still cry anytime I think of her . like she died yesterday . my family doesn't get it . I have had a rough 10  years and the one thing that was always there for me was this dog . she was always happy to see me and made my life worth living . my daughter who lives with me has a chihuahua and I love him but its just not the same . my daughter tries to talk me into another dog but I just can not imagine any dog making this better or having to ever have to go thru this again .  I don't know how to get better . and I have no one to talk to about this bc no one cares this much about a pet .  lola.jpg 
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Purzel
Christi,

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Lola - what a lovely picture of her you posted. Thank you for sharing this. Losing a beloved one is a difficult and painful journey, all of us are here in this forum because we all lost a beloved one and we all do undertand. Christi, this is a good and safe place where you can grieve your beloved Lola - write anything you wish to write - we are all here to listen and dry your tears. Please, take your time to grieve her and be gentle with yourself. I lost my beloved Lab Max in Jan this year and I am still crying and still miss him so much. Know that your love towards Lola will forever live in your heart.

My heart goes out to you
Silvia (with Max forever in my heart)

[hundi]


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Rookiesmama
Christi,
We all understand you!! My heart is broken for you. Hopefully you won't feel so alone anymore. Honestly, people on here just GET IT, and you can repeat yourself over and over and it's okay. We're all struggling, but at different parts in our journey. Thank you for sharing your picture of Lola, she's so beautiful! Don't let anyone rush you into anything, take as much time as necessary. Today is a week for my Rookie, and it's been an awful day, but I know (eventually, not able to set a date) I'll have to open up my heart again. This pain is overwhelming and awful, and I can't believe I would suffer through again, but I love dogs, and I know there are many homeless ones out there. I'll be thinking of you and Lola, and i hope you feel comfortable to share anytime.
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MAlcindor
Oh Christi, my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Lola. Believe me when I tell you I know exactly how you feel. Everyone here is going through the same pain you are experiencing, you are not alone. I lost my 2 boys one month apart and I feel lost without them, they were my children. Not everyone understands the bond we have with our babies and they certainly dismiss the grief we feel so deeply. Crying everyday is the normal for me these days. No one can tell you when the right time is for you to get another dog, only you can make that determination. You will know when you are ready. You must grieve the loss of your Lola and get to a place where you are finally able to think about opening your heart again to another baby. The pain is unbearable, but I cannot imagine my life without receiving the unconditional love they give us. Yes, we love them deeply and it is devastating when they leave us, but they bring so much joy and love. I hope you continue to post, I find it to be very therapeutic as no one here will judge you and we all understand your pain.
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asanroja
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I also loss my precious Bella and can’t get over it here is a picture. Bella looks so much like your but baby I think
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Tankie12
Sometimes family or friends just don’t understand because they’ve never loved a pet like you have. Going through this kind of grief is devastating, like none before. Being alone with all of these life altering emotions is just to much for anyone to bare. You’re not alone now as Purzel said we are all joined in our losses. I’m so sorry you’ve suffered alone for so long. I lost my girl in Jan and didn’t find this site until March and I was about out of my mind with so many emotions screaming from every beat of my heart. This grief is much to powerful to navigate without the understanding of those who are living it as well,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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catiebee
You are heard, you are understood here. I'm so sorry for your loss. Many of us are months down the road from losing our babies but the tears still flow. I hope it will help you to write here and to know others care and feel similarly. My heart goes out to you very, very much. 
Catie
-Missing Marissa deeply
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christik999
I have never been that pet person . my daughter is . Lola was her dog her gift at 9 . but Lola attached and bonded to me . she quickly became my dog . I loved her so very much . more then I ever thought was possible for a pet . I blame myself for her death . I should have noticed sooner vetted her sooner . and going thru putting her down was horrible . I see it in my nightmares . I see her face and feel so guilty it breaks me apart . its like seeing a car accident . I held her head and talked to her and told her I loved her so much . my vet was great . but it was really bad . little things trigger me . I feel stupid . my mom thinks I'm crazy . lol I was watching the movie wonder about the little boy with the birth defects . right in the middle their dog dies .  I cried for 2 hours . I was mad the preview and info doesn't say dog dies . ugh . but ty for all the replies . I hope some day this  gets better . where I can say her name and not cry . so I can set her ashes and a pic out for her . bc right now that's just not possible . 
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JennyTeddy
Christi,

I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your baby Lola. My heart breaks for you. 💔 Sadly lots of people outside this forum are insensitive and don’t understand the special unique bond we are blessed to experience. Not everyone gets to and that’s why they don’t understand. It’s hard. Our babies are more than “just a pet, just a dog” they aren’t just a dog. They are family, our babies, our children, our best friends, our happiness, our mornings, or cuddles, we spend more time with our fur babies than we do with a lot of our family and friends. Our babies see us and stand by us through everything, they love us unconditionally. This forum has been so helpful because everyone here understands, so sweet, compassionate, sympathetic and understanding. I hope you find comfort here. Your baby Lola is so darling and precious💛 I’m so sorry you’re enduring this pain 💔 my heart goes out to you, sending you warm hugs and comfort. It’s still hard for me to talk about Teddy without crying. It’s so hard. I lost my baby boy Teddy Sunday May 6,2018 to CHF, he passed away on his own. Everyday is painful without him. It’s been almost 3 months ago (12 weeks is tomorrow Sunday) You’re not stupid or crazy and please don’t blame yourself. You didn’t give her the cancer. Lola knows her mommy (you) did your best, she knows you love her. She is still with you in spirit. Hugs this quote below has given me a lot of comfort and I hope it provides you comfort as well 💛


“You are a spiritual being. You are energy and energy cannot be destroyed. It just changes form. Therefore the pure essence of you has already been and always will be. Everything that has existed wil always exist, it's moving into form, through form, and out of form,. So if you think we are just this body, think again. You are a spiritual being, you are external energy. 99% of who you are is invisible and untouchable."
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
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