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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #31 
first thank you so much Jody for the words posted above as that is exactly how I feel in those few short hours was he ok? was he scared ? was he in pain? but I believe he was as I'm not sure it was bloat that is just what I think as his belly was so large and swollen when I seen him and layed on the ground with him and it was so large but he just seemed fine a few hours earlier and he was alone I was not with him as I thought he was just watching out the fence to the field behind the house as he did most days and just wanted his outside time and like you I'm just not functional as it still seems like the 1st day and like you I newer knew losing a pet could feel this horrible as I have lost people that didn't hurt this bad and I also have 3 other furbabies as cade my other newf  is the true brother to littleguy and he just seems to be taking it awful too but everyone says he's feeding off my depression but I don't think so I just think he is truly depressed and missing him and like you all I can think about is this is going to happen at least 3 other times if they out live me and I cant get past this one less 3 more and also like you I work very long hours  6 days a week most times and really that is the only time that I find a little peace as I'm to busy to think at times ,also thank you so much for understanding as our situations are so similar ,may we all find some sort of peace.

pamela
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #32 
hey littleguy its mommy again I just needed to say hi and I love you and miss you more then words could ever explain, and I just don't get it some people your stupid dad being one just keep asking me  whats wrong and I usually don't answer as if I say your name I break down right there in front of anyone and your stupid dad says I need to move on as he says he still hurts but it cant consume him ,but I on the other hand cant move on the little bit of my heart that is left breaks a little more each day and the depression is gotten to a point that it is over whelming me I'm just still hanging on because your brothers need me  and I thank god I have them still but you are my sweet ,beautiful ,kind ,precious baby boy that I cant seem to get out of my mind for even a second .I just hope somehow I can find some peace until we meet again my sweet boy I know you will be there for me even if in the end I wasn't there for you I'm so sorry

love mommy      

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #33 
my sweet boy its been 3 weeks today that you left and things haven't gotten any easier as your birthday is coming up on Friday and I miss you more then I could ever explain ,today I took your brother cade to a different vet just to be checked out as I'm so worried about him as both of you went to the vet you had been going to all your life just 4 days before you passed and everything was great so they thought and please littleguy keep an eye on your brothers as cade hasn't  been the same since you left and I know I need to get better for him as today when I was telling the new vet about what happened to you and broke down cade ran over and put his head in my lap trying to comfort me and I know its me that should be comforting him as I'm so sorry I wasn't there to comfort you in the end and the guilt is eating me alive so please give me a sign to let me know that you forgive me please my sweet boy .mommy loves and misses you so much

love mommy  

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #34 
good morning my sweet boy we miss you

love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #35 
littleguy its been 23 days since you left and today October 7th would have been your 7th birthday and in the 23 days since you left my birthday and now your birthday has came and its just too much to handle as today it seems as fresh as the day it happened I didn't sleep at all last night as a flood of emotions has come over me about you as I'm doing nothing but missing you and crying and I know I cry everyday for you but not like this as the tears are not stopping and the little that's left of my heart is finishing breaking .and I know I still have your brothers and I love them dearly but you were such a unique personality just one of a kind and from the start life just wasn't kind to you as you had so many medical issues with your legs and other things and then to pass so young and so sudden its just not fair but my only hope with this is that your not in pain and that your happy and that I will see you again my dear boy as I cant wait for that. until we meet again dear boy mommy loves and misses you more then words can explain as I just wish I could give you a giant hug and hear you grunt at me one more time.
  
love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #36 
good morning sweet boy yesterday was your 7th birthday and the day was horrible for me as I just cried all day and I'm still crying but I hope it was better for you as you could finally have a day were you could run freely without those little legs hurting or any other pain in your body my sweet boy as long as I know your pain free I don't care how much pain I have in my heart break about losing you as long as I know your happy dear boy , but I just wish someone could convince me that it gets easier as its been a little over 3 weeks and after yesterday its as fresh as that 1ts day,Love and miss you much just more and more with each day that passes I cant wait until I see you again

love mommy 

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #37 
I love and miss you more and more with each day that passes ,for some reason for me it just seems to be getting harder to keep going through this life without you my sweet boy ,until  we meet again and I cant wait for it .

love mommy  

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #38 
hello my sweet boy your dad said something about you a little while ago that just made my tears start flowing again the loss of you has truly been the hardest thing that I have ever dealt with I knew I loved you dearly but never in my wildest thoughts did I ever think it would be as hard as it is its as if I lost my life and now I just cant wait to see you again
love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #39 
hi my sweet boy its just another day without you again and I just cant stop crying ,oh how I wish I could just see that beautiful face again and just to touch you one more time as I still cant even go in the backyard were you passed its just to hard .everyday I go to were your ashes are on the table and talk to you and kiss you ,some how today was extra hard as several people that I work with that I hadn't seen since it happen came to me and told me how sorry they were and I'm greatful for that but it brings everything just right back and I'm not sure my heart can take it as its already broken.

love mommy 

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Jody

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Reply with quote  #40 
Pamela, reading your posts to your baby are so special to read. Keep talking to him. He hears you. It took me 11 weeks to feel my baby with me. I know they are with us. I kiss my wooden box every night and that is when I face the truth. I miss him everyday but am finding peace in knowing he is okay and is with me. Tony was 6 weeks from his 7th birthday. That day crushed me too. I promise you, this pain will ease a little. You are going to get through this! Your baby never left your side. I know how hard this is...I really do. I cannot believe I am almost at 3 months! I really can't. But I grieved all day for months. Nothing is going to take away this pain for you. Be patient with it and know you are never alone in this...I hope you find some peace in some of your days to come...
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #41 
Jody , I cant tell  you enough what the above words in your post mean to me as like you I kiss his box everyday and tell him good morning and good night and our circumstances are so similar as my boy passed 3 weeks before he was to turn 7 and oh how hard that day was .and yes for some reason I do get some comfort in coming to this sight and talking to him also and so many on here understand as they love there babies just as much also the picture of your baby posted reminds me so much of my baby as oh how he loved the snow what a beautiful photo and I have several of my boy just like it. and yes I hope we both find comfort in due time .

thank you so much
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #42 
littleguy mommy loves and misses you so much and I know you know that as you are watching down on us ,please my boy just have no pain anymore and loads of fun and chicken.

love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #43 
here I am again sweet boy its 4 weeks today that you left and things are not really that much different from the 1st day as I have cried everyday for 4 straight weeks now and yes I'm going to work but just cause I have too as at least 90% of my waking hours you are in my thoughts and I'm hanging on as I have too as I  still have  your brothers  and especially cade your true brother and I'm just surprised as too how much he seems like you now as before you both were total opposites .littleguy I'm really trying to find a way to just function some what normally with out you and before this happened it had been a hard year this year with everything that has gone on but I really at the time did not know how hard it would actually get as my heart break doesn't seem to be healing at all without you my sweet boy

good bye for now
love mommy     

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #44 
oh my littleguy its another day oh how I miss you so much my sweet boy life will just never be the same again without you , my heart can never be complete again as long as your not here .I love you so much no one will ever know just how deep it goes ,until we see each other again .

love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #45 
my sweet boy its 1 month today that you left me and my heart is still as broken today as it was that 1st day .you just went so sudden and unexpected that I was sent reeling and am still reeling from this as I only though I had known pain and loneliness up to this point and the heart break is so over whelming that for the 1st time in my life and its been a hard life I have sought professional help as I'm still not sure how I'm going to make it past this as the love of my life is not here with me .all I do is cry and think about you and believe me I'm trying to focus on all the good times and love we had but I just miss you so terribly  it just hurts so bad and life just will never be the same without you my dear boy ,until we meet again

love mommy  

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