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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #16 
its just one more day without you my sweet littleguy and my heart aches so badly for you as I miss that dirty little smell  you had when you liked to go and just lay in the mud and dirt and sometimes other things  and the push on my hands when you didn't want me to stop petting you and just the direct  stare telling me you wanted your treat and how when I would come home and you were upset that I was gone to long you would talk to me and no not barking he actually tried to talk and its amazing as I have went back to work and all the support that I have gotten and how when friends got the nerve to approach me as they didn't at first to try  not to upset me and then we both seem to cry and they actually go back to the thoughts of them losing their fur baby and all say they didn't want to make me cry but I told them it didn't matter as I would still be crying a year from now ,littleguy I ove and miss you more then this world will ever know but I'm sure your wonderful new world knows just how much

pamela
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #17 
to my littleguy

mommy just wants to tell you just how much I love and miss as I'm on day #9 and every time I'm not busy at work or something else I just cry for you as my heart still aches so badly that I wasn't there for you and I'm not sure that I will ever move past that but sometimes I just think that's the way you wanted it as you loved everyone so much you didn't want to see anyone hurting for you so you stayed so strong and waited until you were alone and went to sleep without ever letting anyone know there was something wrong and just so you know as I think your watching the house is a mess as I cant bear to clean it or really do anything else for that matter just go to work as that's not a choice I hope that I cant just learn to get by a little until we meet again my dear boy .
love mommy 

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BabyPopeye

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Reply with quote  #18 
Pamela,

It is obvious how much you love your dear boy.  I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  I am here for the same reason.  I just miss my little guy so much.  We let him go 1 week ago.  I keep thinking he will walk in and sit next to me while I work like he always did.  Two of the things you mentioned about your little guy reminded me of my Popeye.  He was forever trying to dig and catch gophers or mice.  I would come out and find him over his head in a hole that took him no time to dig (even though he was a little guy) and his whole head would be covered with dirt.  He would give me a sad look because he knew he would have to be rinsed off.  But he would have this dusty smell about him from all his digging.  Also, he loved to have his belly rubbed.  As soon as I would stop rubbing his belly, he would grab my arm with his paw and ask for more pets.  I really miss all those little things.  I am glad you have support with your work friends.  It is helpful to share stories and know you are not alone.  Thank you for sharing and giving me a chance to share also.  
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #19 
thank you so much for sharing your words and love  about your (littleguy) with me and as said its those small things that I miss the most out of everything as I just wish that I could have had  just one more day with my sweet boy as he was taken way to soon and will never leave my heart or thoughts but I'm very lucky as I still have 3 fur babies with my newf cade being the older brother to my littleguy and he has done a very strange thing yesterday and I hope anyone that reads this can give me there thoughts he went to the stand the my littlguys ashes are on and just sat and stared for about 2 to 3 minutes and I went and asked him what was wrong and he got real fidgety and I took my little guy in my hands and held him for cade to smell and he did that for about a minute and then walked out of the room it was just as if he knew that was our littleguy and was just trying to communicate with him as they were very close ,once again thanks to everyone on this site as I think it has saved my sanity in the last 10 days to know so many love and care just as I do about their babies
pamela
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #20 
littleguy its day 11 and a Sunday which was always your favorite day as you always got to go to rocky river to wade in the water and than later that day mommy would make you chicken for dinner and if it wasn't too hot outside  you would spend the rest of the day outside as your back yard was your love and right now the weather is changing here and getting cooler especially at night as fall and winter is on its way and that's your favorite time of year ,also I feel I need to talk  you everyday and feel I'm doing so through this forum as it seems to be the closest I can get  to you  until I see you again my sweet boy .

love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #21 
to chris thank you for the card but for some reason I cannot send a thank you through the link but thank you very much for it the words mean everything.

to my dearest littleguy its 12 days and everyday just seems to be getting harder not easier as I just cry everyday and think of you and your beautiful self inside and outside that you gave  to everyone as you were a true gift from god and now your there as god needed you but were still here and I believe that when you left the sunshine in the day and also my heart left with you and even though your brothers are still here its just not the same as you were the talker and it so quiet now and I never thought that I could love anyone or thing as much as I loved you and still do until  we meet again .

love mommy  

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #22 
my dear sweet boy I thought that I could try not to come on this forum and talk to you today as it is day 13 since you left and most people tell me that I need to try to move on and I am trying but I cant as I truly have lost one of the loves of my life as the other is your brothers there isn't a minute of the day that you are not thought of and I just cant move past that I didn't see what was happening to you as I thought you were fine and you just were not and I blame myself for not being a better mom and knowing what was going on with my baby and in the end not being there for you as I said in a earlier post I feel that this is the only way that I can talk to you my sweet boy and words just cannot explain my pain and heartache over you not being here until we meet again I love you my son and miss you more then words could ever explain .
love mommy     

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BabyPopeye

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Reply with quote  #23 
Pamela,
I am so sorry for your grief today. I know that you can't just move on. Losing a furbaby is real and you can't just snap out of it. I can really relate to your pain. I have been here today reading and sharing about guilt. I am thinking that your little guy could not have had a better mom. I am sure you were like me...I would pet and talk to Popeye and constantly tell him what a good sweet boy he was.

It sounds like what happened to your boy happened very fast and you did not neglect him at all. Just remember all the great mom things you did. It's not wrong to still be grieving. It takes as long as it takes. Hugs to you and your other babies.

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #24 
Popeye's mom I to am sorry for the grief and pain you and others on this site and just people in general that have lost a beloved fur baby and like you it is still so fresh as it is 2 weeks today and it has been the worst 2 weeks of my life and believe me I have  had other hardships but none even came close to the hurt I feel after losing my big boy and in the almost 7 years that I had him I tried to make him as happy as I could but it just seemed from day 1 life was a challenge for my boy as he had 4 surgeries for different things over the years and just always seemed to have health issues but I would have lost everything just to keep him with me and I surly would have traded places with him if it meant he would continue to have a good and happy life as the pain I feel and the pain that I'm seeing his newf brother going through as he just seems so depressed and lost without him as there were true brothers and I seems my cade is just heart broken also and until we all meet our babies again god bless and pray for all of us .
pamela
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #25 
one more day my sweet boy mommy loves and misses you yesterday was my birthday and I just wanted to crawl in a hole and get lost as everyone kept telling ne happy birthday and I just kept thinking how am I supposed to be happy without you and I just wished no one would have even mentioned it as it was the worst birthday I have ever had its only been 2 weeks since you left

littleguys mom  

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greenriver

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Reply with quote  #26 
dear pamela, 

i just lost my sweet girl a couple of days ago. she was 5 1/2. the grief is crippling me. i understand all that you are feeling. i feel her everywhere. everything reminds me of her. anything i didn't do for her causes me pain. i can't imagine life without her, it is so incredibly scary. i often have the feeling of wanting to join her where she is. it's so painful. 

i hope we both find comfort, and some relief. i keep trying to tell myself that death comes at times we don't want, and many people lose what they hold most dear. too soon, or when they aren't ready.

hoping for relief. 
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #27 
dear greenriver  I'm SO SORRY for your loss as I know just how you feel its bad enough to lose fur babies but when they go so young  it just doesn't seem fair at all these babies should have been in the prime of their lives and now there just not here except in our hearts and memories ,but the entire post that you posted to me just rings of truth as I feel exactly as you do and the pain is unbearable and it just seems to be getting worse as a friend that lost a fur baby a while back said that's because the finality of it is setting in now in your heart and soul and we are realizing that we have to wait to see them again at the bridge and they will meet us there believe me .as I need to see him smell him and touch him as its killing me its the 16th day and I just cant stop crying and like you everything makes me think of my baby boy .

thank you so much and my thoughts and prayers are with us all that have been burdened with  this terrible loss of our babies and some how may we all find peace

pamela
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #28 
mommy loves and misses you so much my sweet boy and I just don't know how to go on my sweet one

love mommy

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #29 
my dear sweet littleguy mommy misses you so much as you are one of the true loves of my life even more then any human I have known and I just cant seem to stop crying over a million things about you as I knew on the tuesday when I came home I had though about giving you and your brothers that left over chicken from sunday but instead I gave you treats as at that time I thought Wednesday would come and you would be there to get the chicken as we both know chicken is your favorite and I know it sounds stupid but I cant get over the fact that I didn't give you your chicken it was something so simple and the thing is now I cant bear to cook anything it this house as I know how much you loved what  I would cook for my boys on sundays as I would cook enough meat to feed you a couple of times during the week as a treat and that was always your favorite and something as simple as that is tearing me apart and I really don't see how people go on after the loss of a fur baby/family member

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Jody

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Reply with quote  #30 
Hi Pamela, I am so sorry for your sudden loss as well. I thought I had reached out to you initially but I guess I just read your posts. Sometimes it's hard to know who I reached out to. I work 13hr days so I am not always alert:) I know how you feel. Though I picked his head up and his glazed eyes looked at me for one split second and that last breath left his body, I still have felt I was not there for him. I often wonder what happened those 8 hrs I was asleep. Was he okay? Was he scared? Was he in pain? I wish I could have held him the entire time. Did your baby have bloat? That cannot be reversed. No matter what you do. Whatever happened, just like my baby, it was sudden and neither of them suffered for days. I am approaching 10 weeks tomorrow. It is just so crazy. Time is moving but I am still. I know we will get through this because we have to. I too can't figure out how people go through and get through it but that's because I am still mourning. I never knew this is what losing a pet felt like. I probably would not have 6 others right now :) that's 6 more deaths of my furbabies. We are all here for you...
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