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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #1 
today I got the call at work from my husband that one of my beloved newfs littleguy had passed he would have been 7 on October 7th he was a beauty at 160lbs of just nothing but love ,he seemed fine when he went outside when I left for work but when my husband called for him he didn't come in and when he was found his belly was bloated when found this morning in his favorite spot .how am I going to get past the guilt that he was alone and we wernt there for him and also how do I help his newf brother who just seems devastated as they were together all there lives .today I have truly lost the love of my life and am heart broken and not sure if I will ever get past this   
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pamela meadows
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jimmy17

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Reply with quote  #2 
Pamela, I`m so very sorry for your loss.  To lose him so suddenly and so young must be heartbreaking for you, and right now you must be beyond devastated.  I know nothing will bring him back, but maybe a post mortem could shed a little light on what happened to your Littleguy? 
 However we lose them, you`ll find that so many of us here feel guilt - even when there`s nothing we could have done to save them or keep them here longer with us, it just seems to be part of the whole grieving process. When we lost our dog 9 months ago, I never thought I`d get past it - we`ve no children and he was our absolute world and for the first week or two I couldn`t eat or sleep and just about lost interest in everything.  Finding this forum was such a relief, just knowing that the way I was feeling was normal helped so much.    Littleguys brother will also be missing him so much, just give him lots of extra love and attention - years ago we had 2 dogs who were brothers and when we lost one to kidney disease we were so worried about his sibling - of course he missed him so much at first, but he eventually accepted it and was okay.  
 Just take it a day or even hour at a time, the first week or two truly are tough, but you will get through it, even though you won`t think you will right now. You`ll never ever forget Littleguy, as he`ll live on forever in your heart and mind.  Take care.

                                                                                           Jackie.x

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Jody

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Reply with quote  #3 
Ooo nooo...Pamela I am so sorry. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my Golden Tony six weeks before his 7th birthday. Suddenly. He seemed tired after dinner. Lied around through the night. And died in the morning when I woke up. I know how lost you are. Monday I will be at 8weeks. And time has stopped for me. It is going to be so hard. Just know we are all here for you...I now get comfort from this site and my dreams with my beautiful baby in them. Littleguy will always be with you every step of the way. He will never leave your heart...
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #4 
its been a little over 24 hours since littleguy passed and his newf brother cade is taking it very hard hasn't ate or drank anything also went in the bedroom alone and stayed there most of the day, I'm not sure who is more heart broken him ,me or my husband as we have truly lost the best thing that ever happened to us .littleguy had a hard way to go since the day I got him TPLO surgery on both back legs and to close a hole in his belly I tried to do everything for him but wasn't there when he needed me most and the guilt of that is over whelming me and I'm not sure this will ever get in easier as this is truly one of the worst events in my life and my other boys .
also I thank everyone of you on this forum for the support as it is unbelievable to know that so many care and the caring is real as they know what I'm going through    

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pamela meadows
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #5 
I had littleguy cremated and just got him back and that was so much harder then I thought as when I got the call to come get little guy my heart jumped and I thought it had all been a very bad dream and I was getting my boy back but when reality struck back I was still crying as I not stopped for 3 days now and the sad part is I know I'm not being fair to my other 3  fur babies that are still here as I'm just not functional at all and not sure if I ever will be as he was truly the love of my life as I have lost humans that didn't hurt this bad and I look at my other babies and just think and worry about this happening again ,I just wish I knew how to just cope a little .
littleguys mom  

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pamela meadows
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RobertandJack

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Reply with quote  #6 
I think in some form or fashion there are many many of us.  We have different circumstances.  We all feel guilt.  We love and loved them so much.  They made us better humans and gave us pause to think about God and the hereafter.  Some believe and some do not.  I believe and I have found a new peace in that.  I love them and always will. Peace to you. Life will go on but not in the same way. We suddenly value the time we have left and time we have with those around us. Peace to you in the coming days as you worth thoug your grief.

Robert and Jacks Mom
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #7 
thank you so much and I do know that littleguy made me a better person and actually the real meaning of giving and loving  and also like both of you I do hope my faith will get me through this terrible time so I can go back to being a better mom to my other babies 
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pamela meadows
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #8 
my 3rd day without my littleguy and it is raining outside and he would have loved it as rain snow and cold was his favorite weather also I do pray that it will get to the point that I can just function with my new normal life as so far I just am a basket case and just want to see him again and need a way to go on as I have other fur babies that I'm just not being fair to right now ,I just wish I knew a way to cope.

littleguys mom

   

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pamela meadows
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #9 
just another useless day of waking up without my littleguy not hearing him bark at the air or the leaves moving is just too much to take abs yes I have been told just like others on this sight that I just need to move on get over it and stop feeling sorry for myself well its not me I'm feeling sorry for its my littleguy as hes not on earth to show the rest of the world just how special he is as I already know.  for those who don't understand this is my child and I will never move on I will just learn to get through each day until I see him again.

littleguys mom 

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pamela meadows
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #10 
I know I sound a bit crazy but I think I keep hearing my littleguy I thought I heard him bark in his back yard and then last night as I was trying to sleep in the recliner as theres no sleeping in bed or at all for that matter I thought I heard him grunt as he always did before he got ready to relax and go too sleep  and his favorite spot to sleep was right in front of the recliner were at day 5 and its really no better at all as he occupies every thought we love and miss him.

littleguys mom 

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pamela meadows
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jimmy17

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi Pamela, you don`t sound crazy at all - when we lost our dog Jim 9 months ago both myself and my husband heard him quite a lot of times. Now my husband was the biggest sceptic going, didn`t believe in anything like that at all. but he heard Jim twice, walking around the side of our bed - his feet pattering on the wooden floor.    Jim used to sleep in his wicker basket alongside our bed, and when he passed I pushed his basket underneath our bed ( where it still is, as I can`t bear to get rid of it), a couple of times I`ve heard the wicker creak, just like it did when Jim was trying to make himself comfortable.  Even a few weeks ago, I heard little footsteps coming up the stairs, so I like to think that occasionally he`s " popping in" to check up on us.   Its still very early days for you - I never thought I`d be able to move on when we lost Jim who was more like a child to us as we never had kids - and even though I still miss him so much, I can look back and smile at all the happy times we shared with him.    They really do take a huge piece of our hearts with them when they go though.  Wishing you peace and healing.

                                                                                                                       Hugs, Jackie

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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #12 
thanks so much as I was hoping that what I was hearing was real to know hes still here even if I cant see him means so much as he is one of my babies and some time in the future I hope that I can just focus on all the happy times as there are many and as soon as I get the courage up to go through all the pictures we have our littleguy I will post on here so everyone can see just how beautiful my baby boy was.one again thanks so much

pamela
littleguys moms  

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pamela meadows
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cakes488

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Reply with quote  #13 
You most certainly were there when littleguy needed you most...like every day of his life  EVERY DAY!!  Try not to feel guilt about the way it ended but remember all the days that came before that...that's where the living and loving was..that's where the real memories live.  Push out the bad ones and replace them with good memories. 
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #14 
thank you so much for the kind words and thoughts and I did try to do everything for him  as he had gone through TPLO surgery on both back legs at a very young age and also one to close a hole in his belly  as it seemed from the day I got him life had not been to fair to him and I tried desperately to make up for that and yes there was so much love to him and from him as everyone that met him just loved him as he was a true gentle giant and the best friend any one could have ever asked for and yes there are a million good memories but you are right I have to push out that ONE bad one the day I wasn't there for him but sometimes as I sit I think I believe that's how he wanted it as he didn't want to see his mommy hurting so much  as he was getting ready to cross the rainbow bridge and I feel he was trying to care for  and protect me.

your words and caring mean so much
littleguys mom 

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pamela meadows
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littleguy

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Reply with quote  #15 
one week ago today I lost my precious littleguy as things go it really hasn't got any easier as I had to go back to work this week but I feel very lucky there as I knew before this happened that the majority of  people that I work with  are true fur baby parents just as I am and are very supportive ,but I still occupy almost every thought of my littleguy as he was a true love too me and we always be missed and never out of my thoughts and every time someone comes to tell me how sorry there are I just break out in tears as it is still just like the day it happened and I hope that I can get to a point that I will smile instead of cry ,but to close littleguy mommy loves and misses you more then words could ever describe .

love mommy

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pamela meadows
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