How I miss you. It's not quite 7 weeks since you had to leave. Sometimes when I dream of us swimming in those waters I don't know, I wish I'd never wake. It's so peaceful there with you. Do you send me these dreams? I would not be surprised, for whenever I felt bad, you wanted to make it better, and you did. Such a sweet girl, taking care of Mommy.
They made a paw print for me and with it was a sympathy card and a poem about a place called Rainbow Bridge. I'm not sure I believe in that, but it doesn't matter. When my time comes, I will go where you are and that's all I need to know.
I cry for you everyday at least a couple times a day. I've read a lot about grief, that it's the cost of love. I don't believe that for if you knew that your leaving would cause me this much pain, you would not have chosen me. No, I think there's far more to grief than I can understand. No, I refuse to think of grief as a cost of loving you for I gave my love to you freely and you gave me yours and that will always be so. What you taught me is to truly love unconditionally, there can be no cost. You're quite wise, though sometimes I wish you'd have explained things a little better.
Our vet told me that a lot people start or already feel better by six months after. He also told me that you were a pretty special little girl and that it may be a couple years or more before I do. Hearing him say that has changed things for me as I don't have to fight it anymore, it's going to be with me a good long while no matter what I do. Now in what sounds a bit odd, what I need to do sounds impossible, I need to be friends with it.
Mina, I wish you were here to show me how to do that.