wkcookie
Tomorrow will be 8 weeks since I made that awful decision. Eight weeks since you left. My husband and I take turns grieving. But when I grieve, it sometimes bring him back to where he is at step one again. I started to privately grieve. But there are times when he walks in the room and I'm in the middle of grieving. My husband is a callous a******. What did he say to me today? He said this is why I did not want another dog. He has had other dogs before we met. But Cookie has only been My One True Dog. I never had a dog before her. I am unsure if I want another one after her. My heart is open to possibilities when the time is right and when I can see a spirit in a dog that I will connect with. But right now, I have nothing and no one to support me. My best friend is too involved with his own family. With two kids of his own, it is understandable. And there is the distance factor too. All I do is go to work and volunteer at an animal shelter. I have no one to connect with. And the one person I thought that would understand my grief is not allowing me to grieve. Don't be an a******* and just let me grieve.

Almost everyday I say to the sky, what are the gods waiting for? When can I die so I can be with her again? There's nothing to live for. I have done everything I needed to on Earth.
Quote 0 0
TashasDad
Wkcookie,

I am very sorry for you loss. I send you my deepest condolences on your loss of Cookie.

It is very unfortunate that some of us have to hide our grieving. I've done a lot of hiding of my crying/grieving/wailing since losing my special dog in early April.

Obviously you have to grieve. And you should. Because you need to. 

You loved your dog Cookie deeply. You are experiencing the pain of your loss, experiencing it, and processing it. You have to go through it. 

My wife understood this need. I had to grieve for months, even though her needs for understanding the loss and saying goodbye were very different. Minimal compared to mine would be accurate to say. But most of my family and friends did not understand me at all and my grieving. Some of them told me it was "odd" or "unusual" that I was grieving still after only 2 or 3 weeks time. I am a retired man in my early 60's who spent his entire day with his beloved dog for years; we did everything together. 

Many people just do not understand. Why? I am sure there are numerous reasons. Many people say the wrong thing or say stupid things for a great variety of reasons. Also, inadvertently some of them say things to us that feel or are hurtful. I ignored what they all said and did not dwell on it; I was able to do this. I knew I had no choice but to grieve and I also knew they did not understand me or my loss, so their opinions were useless to me, and I was luckily able to let them go without dwelling on them.

It does not sound like you and your husband can experience your grief together in healthy ways, at least not at times. During much of my 3 months of grieving, I have done most of my grieving and crying while my wife was out of the house, or she was in the shower, or she was in the backyard gardening. I very often jump on this forum when my wife goes out. She and I cannot grieve together. She and I grieve differently, and we talk about our loss differently. 

It has been 3 months for me since losing my beloved dog. And some days I really feel it. Today I was really feeling it. So I walked to the computer now and got on this forum. I re-read some of my posts and replies people have compassionately sent to me.

I also read many posts about others' losses and their grieving, including yours that I found here. 

I wonder with your volunteering at the animal shelter, if there is any opportunity to meet and talk to someone else volunteering or working there who has lost a beloved pet who would be understanding and helpful to you to talk to. I really don't know, but maybe there is. 

During my 3 months of grieving, I've longed to be with my departed special dog also. It is a common feeling. We miss them so much. The pain of them being gone feels awful to us. It will get better over time for us. But we have lives here now, we will grieve, we will do some healing over time, and we will go forward. We will. 

I hope you, and I, and everyone here for our common reasons at this forum find much peace going forward. We all shared a deep, loving connection with our special pets. No wonder we are grieving deeply. 

Tasha's Dad



Quote 0 0
Timmymissu
Im exactly the same with my husband rolls his eyes when i cry 5hey dont feel the pain like we do come on here where we all feel the same pain if i would have to choose between him and my beautiful timmy timmy would of always won hands down xx
Quote 0 0
kayeen
Be strong and always remember that she's watching you and she was happy to have you.
Quote 0 0
Sustoc

Yes, my husband and I are grieving differently over our loss. I still cry and visit this site for comfort. I stare at pictures and sleep with her favorite toy. He doesn't believe this is healthy. So I grieve in private. But that is not to say my husband isn't grieving. His is more internal and tries to be strong about it as he learns to move forward without a pet in the house. Everyone expresses their grief in their own way. Some try to overcome it and others just allow it to be. Whatever the road you take, there is no way around the sadness.
 

Sus Toc
Quote 0 0