My beautiful 9yo Rottweiler Arnie passed on Easter Sunday. His passing was so unexpected. He suddenly fell ill with a large tumour on his spleen and needed emergency surgery. He was recovering well but passed 24 hours later at the emergency hospital after cardiac arrest. I have really struggled with guilt and the pain of his loss - he was my best friend. I found this forum yesterday and reading posts has helped. So I hope this story will help someone experiencing the same pain.
My biggest regret is that we didn’t finish our last walk together. You weren’t well so we turned back just after we started the night before you were taken to the Emergency Vet. I thought you had eaten something that didn’t agree with you - this wouldn’t be the first time that you had eaten an old bone that you had buried or a garden slug.
Today I decided to finish that walk. The same walk we had done for the majority of our days together. I stoped at all your favourite places and I could see you sniffing, scratching and marking your territory.
It was overcast but as I reached the top of the hill at the end of our walk the suns warmth hit me, so I turned around. I closed my eyes and you asked me to let it be. So that’s what I’m going to do.
You were a gift that taught me patience and to think of something other than myself. But you were never mine to keep. You were borrowed and now it’s time for me to let you go. As I told the story of my walk to my wife - that I really felt you by my side, that I could see you there and that you had told me to let it be, I looked up and in the clouds and saw my puppy. You had outgrown your puppy face but were always this puppy to me.
So my boy I will let it be. Thank you for our time together. I am not someone that believes in signs but again you have provided me with a lesson. You had a profound impact on my life that has continued even after you are gone. I will always love and miss you.