DaisyGirl
Today marks one month that I lost my best friend. I miss him terribly. I am constantly replaying his death over and over in my head. If I would have done this, if I would have done that....It still is unbelievable. Sometimes I catch myself going home thinking he will be there, that when I wake up in the morning it's time to go outside to potty, or when I go to the store I still habitually walk down the pet isle to get his favorite treats. I never thought losing a pet would be like this. I feel like there is a hole in my soul. I can still remember how he felt when I held him, his little tiny soft neck and sweet eyes. Although I am coping with the loss of my bestest friend, I can never forget him. Missing him gets harder and harder everyday but the memories become more precious. It is better to have loved and have lost than to have never loved at all.
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KatherineAnne
DaisyGirl,
I, too, was completely unprepared for the depth and complexity of the grief. For weeks I would stand in the house and cry out, "Where is she?! Where did she go?! I want my baby girl back!" And one awful second it was as if she had never been here at all.

For me it just keeps moving.

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. You're among friends.
k
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gayle
Daisy girl
I am sorry for the loss of your precious fur baby. Was he a dog or cat? What was his name? Sometimes it helps to write a little bit about him. The funny things he did, or how you got him, how old. I lost my Boston terrier Spreewell who was going to turn 14, just 2 months ago, and it is still hard to believe he's gone. It was the worst decision i had to make in my life to put him down, I didn't want to face it, I couldn't face it. Then a strange thing happened one day. I went outside on my back deck and saw this beautiful rainbow. At first I just admired it and moved on. Later I realized maybe it was a sign. Letting him go and the days that followed were just awful. I didn't know how I was going to move on. Of course you have your guilt, maybe you should have tried this or that. I think it's natural. When I look back at pictures of him towards the end, I could see so clearly that look in his eyes that he was at the end. Why couldn't I see it then? I guess I was in denial. I know what you mean about going down the pet aisle in the grocery store. I spoiled my guy so bad, he always got lots of treats or toys every time I went to the store. When I came out of Walmart he would just rummage through the bags in the back seat until he found his squeaky toy. He always knew. Remembering that makes me smile, but also brings tears to my eyes. Usually I try to avoid those aisles now, but accidentally I went down it the other day and I just burst out in tears. A little awkward when your grocery shopping! Anyway, when those little guys have to leave us, they take a piece of our soul with them. The pain may ease but it never goes away. I'm not sure I want it to. It keeps his memory alive and it honors the life I shared with him. I wish you peace and understanding.
Gayle
gayle zigmund
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DaisyGirl
Thank you guys for understanding, it helps to know I am not alone. He was my little dog, the most important thing to me in the world and he was attacked by my boyfriends dog. I managed to get him away and he was alive. I rushed him to the vet and they said his spinal cord was broken beyond repair. I've been going crazy googling spinal cord injuries and everyone who suffered the same with their pups all say the vet says to put them down. Some get another opinion and their dogs eventually live happy lives. I wish I would have. I was in extreme shock and hearing his cries I knew he was in pain. I wish I would have just had more time. It was such a horrible accident. We have been together 2 years and his dog never turned on my dog before this. Just a horrible way for my baby to be taken from me. I protected him all the time and watched him closely. I just went into our bedroom for 1 second and heard the scuffle. Happened so fast. I should have prevented this. I should have kept him close to me. Now his ashes rest in a box next to my bed. It just isn't fair. Life absolutely sucks without him.
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Daisymaesdaddy
Dear Daisygirl,

You definitely are not alone. I am so sorry to hear about the terrible accident with your boyfriends dog. You can't blame yourself. How could you or anyone know something like that could ever happen. My heart goes out to you. I could not imagine how you feel over the circumstances of your loss.

Today is 4 weeks since I had to say goodbye to my best friend Daisy Mae. She was the little light of my life that shined ever so brightly. She made every day for me the best day of my life. She was the most loyal and loving companion I ever had. She never left my side. Her love
was unconditional. Of all the gifts and blessings I had ever recieved in my life, she was my greatest gift. I miss her more and more every day and the pain just never seems to ease. Like Gayle said, remembering makes me smile but the tears continue to flow daily. It's hard to imagine living the rest of my life without her. We were together almost 14 years. She was a part of me. Part of every breath I took. A part of my heart that could never be replaced. Also as Gayle said which is so true, "when our babies leave us, they take a part of our soul with them." So far the pain hasn't eased. I doubt it ever will. I will love and miss her forever until God brings us together again.

You came to the right place Daisygirl. I have recieved so much comfort and support here on this site. Everyone here knows your pain and has lived it. Again my heart goes out to you and I will keep your in my thoughts.

David
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Charu
David - you've articulated so well how I feel - thank you as I'm sitting here thinking of jack . The house feels empty , he was the centre of my heart. & your words & other posts help that I'm not alone it's been less than a day & friends are saying what shall we do this weekend. , my heart has gone , my boy who followed me is no more a decade of times - why just because it's an animal am I expected to just carry on & pretend nothing has changed . Just wanted to say thank you
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Charu
Katherine Anne - does it get better. ?
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Lety
I am so sorry for your loss, I don't want to say that it gets better, you can NEVER forget they are no longer with you, for me it has been less than two months... and it still feels and hurts as if it just happened yesterday, I decided to help foster dogs for an Animal rescue shelter, it has help me a lot, they keep me company, they can never replace my baby boy but it just makes me feel good to know that I am giving this animals a second chance in life, I know my baby is happy I am doing this. I hope your pain gets to be less and easier to bare, I still cry from time to time when I think of him, see his pictures or hear a song that reminds me of him, I just know God had a plan when he took him and now I know his plan was for me to help animals in need.

Baby Nacho Mommy misses you lots and she has comfort knowing you are in the warm arms of God.
Lety
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Rudy
Dear Daisygirl,

   I am so sorry to hear about your loss and completely understand what you are going through as I have experienced the same thing.  About three weeks ago, on 11/7/13, a day which I can vividly remember and will never forget, I had to say goodbye to my little Roxy.  I had received a call at work that she had been attacked by a stray dog and was hurt bad.  She too had suffered a severe spinal cord injury and I was told by the vet that she would never walk again or be able to control her bladder functions and chance of recovery was slim to none.  They too advised that I put her down as there was nothing much that could be done for her.  I had to make the painful and haunting decision to put her to sleep, thinking that I was doing the best thing for her because I didn't want her to hurt anymore.   Roxy spent her last moments in my arms as I told her everything was going to be okay and that I loved her so much and petting her and telling her that daddy was here.  Then I just sat there in the room alone, with Roxy's lifeless body in my arms, just holding her and thinking it was just a bad dream.    Just writing that brought tears to my eyes. 

I too regretted the decision and would and still constantly ponder what if, what if. To this day, i catch myself staring at the doorway hoping that she will come running into my arms.   But just know this DaisyGirl, although it was a very hard thing to do,  you did the right thing and had his best interests at heart. 

 I was not ready to say goodbye to Roxy and it still hurts to this day.  I miss her Roxy so much, her little doggie kisses, her smell,  how she was always waiting for me to get home, how she always wanted to be around me and how she had never ending unconditional love.  She had helped me to get through some of the hardest times of my life.  I have so many happy memories of Roxy and that is what has been helping me to get through these hard times.

Cherish those memories you had with your furry baby.  He will forever be and live on in your heart.  You will see your furry baby again one day, just as I will see Roxy.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your furry baby,


Rudy  (Roxy's daddy)


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KatherineAnne
Charu,
It gets different.
Grieving is a part of life and we are designed to be able to go through it. We are changed. We gradually rejoin the larger motion of the life around us.

I have lots of people in my life who understand what I'm going through. I think this social support helps us move through.

It's only been two months for me. I still can't do anything "fun" because it would seem to negate the sorrow. My "mood" is much, much better. A sort of perspective. I cry painful tears every day -  spaced out now with things that are not grieving.

For me, it keeps moving. Different every hour, every day. Not at all linear. More like a roller coaster. Or a maze.

It is worst right at the beginning, when they are just GONE. Shock on every level. Take your time. Sleep. Cry. Come here if you don't have sympathetic people around. I am so sorry. it hurts as much as we love.
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sande78705
I just had to put my Bugger down this week. I wasn't ready, but I didn't want him to suffer any more. He had slowly become paralyzed and the vet told me that it could start to affect his breathing. I didn't want him to go, but I told him he would be at the rainbow bridge with my other friends and that I would meet him. I am just so sad. He was my baby
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