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Reply with quote  #1 
I had my Bella for almost 14 years. She was always a ridiculously healthy little thing and never once acted her age, until the day she did. On a Friday I noticed she wasn't eating as much as usual and her breathing sounded a bit odd. I planned on taking her to the vet after the weekend and I dont think I'll ever stop feeling guilty for waiting. On Monday she went down hill so fast, I spent the whole day just laying there with her hoping she would make it to her appointment the next day. I dont know if her heart gave out or her lungs but I watched it happen and the look in her eyes will haunt me until I die. I had always prepared myself for having her put down or finding her after she passed in her sleep. I never imagined I'd see those little brown eyes looking at me with panic as her body gave out. I have nightmares about it. For 14 years I've slept with her behind my knees, I can tell you that in those 14 years I only slept without her 25 times. So how do I do this? I dont know what to do without her.

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Posts: 120
Reply with quote  #2 
I feel your pain AC! I’m so sorry for your loss! I’ve been feeling the same guilt since Saturday when my sweet handsome kitty “Big Boy” got hit by a car, before I woke up that morning, all bc I left him outside the night before! Idk how I will ever get over it, I’m not even sure I want to! He was my best little friend! But I will tell you that it has helped me tremendously being here and talking with all the parents who are experiencing the same pain as me, and seeing all the pictures of all the beautiful fur babies they lost, around the same time as my Big Boy. It brings me comfort to know that he did not cross that Rainbow bridge alone, and he has made some sweet, beautiful friends along his journey! I hope this helps you as well, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here! My prayers are with you! XOXO

Posts: 194
Reply with quote  #3 
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your precious Bella.  No matter how our babies leave us their death is very difficult.  Many of us have had to  make the difficult decision to have our babies put to sleep.  Many people struggle with guilt about whether they made the right decision and whether they did it at the right time.  You were spared that decision but you had the pain of  seeing Bella die and reaching out to you with panic because she didn't know what was happening with her body.  But it sounds like she died quickly and she had the comfort of having you by her side.  Bella was fortunate to have good health for most of her life and not have to go through a long period of illness, suffering and decline before requiring you to decide when she would die.  

We all feel the emptiness and grief when our fur babies are no longer there lying beside us or jumping in our laps.  We go on just because we have to go on.  We make it through the next hour or few minutes during especially difficult times.  And we get support from the kind, caring people here at the Rainbow Bridge who are having the same experiences and struggles.  I hope you are finding a little comfort from being here with us while we all wait to meet our pets again at the Rainbow Bridge.

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