Devastated19
I’m 21 years old and I got kitty when I was 17 . I was going trough a rough time in my life and I ward cats were therapeutic. I saved him from a terrible home and I fell in love with him instantly. Yesterday morning I was getting him ready to go to the vets and o showered him then I showered his brother Oliver. After we were done everything was fine . I gave him a couple of treats and he was fine. Out of no where he started to jerk around and he died right in front of my eyes. I rushed him to a pet hospital 5 minutes away from my house but they told me he was dead. The image of him dying constantly haunts me . I keep blaming myself because maybe I could have done more. I could have taken him to emergency care or I could hav learn how to give him proper CPR . He died right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything to save him. The love of my life my only real connection to anything . I’ve never loved something as much s I loved him. I don’t know what to do. I see him everywhere waiting for him to come into our house, or Meow for me to open the door or feedback him. Worst of all I wait for him to pop up at the end of my bed when I wake up in the morning or In the middle of the night. I should have done more he never deserved to die. I have so much anger that I wish I didn’t have but it’s not fair. I loved him so much .
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ApollosMom
I am so sorry for your loss.  I also had a kitty jerk around and die in front of my eyes and the image still haunts me 9 years later.  We also rushed her to the emergency hospital, but they said she had already died.  I think you did the best what you could for your cat.  Please don't beat yourself up for it.

The grief is understandable.  I just had another kitty go to the Rainbow Bridge 6 weeks ago, and the pain is giving me deep depression.  Creating a memorial on here helped but I still miss him all of the time.

I am so sorry.  It's OK to grieve and I can understand your anger if he was so young.  You saved him from a terrible home and brought joy to him for 4 years!
Rest In Peace, Apollo
Sweetest Kitty with White Whiskers
2001-2017

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VickyMJ
Hi, I’m also really sorry for your loss.

Please try not to blame yourself, there is nothing you could’ve done.

My lovely boy cat died 6 weeks ago today, suddenly age 4, he was perfectly fine, no signs of illness and I just found him the next morning.

I tried cpr, but deep down I knew he’d gone. It’s natural to feel guilt, but please don’t punish yourself when you are grieving so much. I know it’s so hard and unbearably painful when you just expect them to walk into a room or pop up somewhere. All the small rituals you had together are taken away in one instance. I know exactly how you feel, they’re not just pets, they are family, they are part of our everyday lives.

You have every right to feel angry because it is terribly unfair, I know.

The rawness of your grief will lessen with time, I know that’s hard to believe right now, but trust me it gets a little easier. I still have bad days, today being one of them actually. I had a bit of a meltdown this morning, basically I just miss him, but you will have better days too.

Please look after yourself and I’m thinking of you.

Xx
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