I am really struggling with intense feelings of guilt. About a year and a half ago, my husband and I adopted a 5 month old pit mix.

We fell in love instantly. However, she was a very difficult girl. She was totally loving and sweet, but extremely leash reactive. She loved people and other dogs, but when she was on her leash, she would bark excessively and could not calm down when she saw other dogs .

This made it impossible to take her anywhere, even on many walks because we would have to make sure other dogs wouldn't be around. She was also extremely high energy and with limited places we could take her to release some energy, she was just very high strung.

We ended up adopting another dog to be her companion and they were instantly best buddies. They did everything together and they played all the time which really helped her. We tried to take her to training classes to work on her leash reactivity, but she was kicked out of one because she was "too reactive." We had just started on another one. 

Last week we went on vacation and we brought along our dogs. We were in a house that we rented which was a second floor loft. It was pretty late at night and my husband went out on a balcony and our girl bolted out after him and jumped over the wall of the balcony. We think that because it was dark, she didn't realize how high up we were. She fell pretty far and ended up breaking her spine. The damage was too great and she was in a lot of pain, so we had to put her to sleep. 

The guilt I am feeling is so intense. We should have been more careful with the door to the balcony. We are always so careful with her because she was so high energy that we were always afraid she would accidentally hurt herself, but we let our guard down for one second. I also feel guilty about the fact that because of her leash reactivity, she was mostly an indoor dog. I wish we had tried harder to find remote places to walk her and had started on her training sooner so that maybe she could have had more experiences and fun in her life. She wasn't even two years old yet, so I feel so bad that I wasn't able to protect her longer. 

At the time, we always felt that we did as much as we could to give her a good life, but it is hard now to not think we could have done more. I work in an animal shelter and know that not many people would have been able to handle a dog with so many behavioral issues, so I always felt it was my purpose to give her the life that many others wouldn't have been able to. But now I feel like I failed her. She was such a sweet girl, so cuddly and affectionate. She always looked like she was smiling. I miss her so much already and it has only been one day. She was the love of my life.

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I am so very sorry for your loss. And for the way it happened, such a terrible accident. I know your heart is broken over it all.

I imagine having tried so hard with her, to help her overcome the behavioral issues compounds your pain. You guys were vigilant, loved her with everything in you. Yet still anything can happen in the blink of an eye. No one can be 100 percent guarded 24/7. I'm very sorry this tragedy happened. 

It takes so much time to feel better.  Try to be gentle with yourself, be good to you while your grief is so raw. Sending warm thoughts and hugs to you.
-Missing Marissa deeply
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I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet unexpectedly is such a heartbreaking experience. You took a dog in that very few people could handle, and you gave her a happy life. Sometimes unfortunately tragic things can happen in the blink of an eye, and some accidents just can't be prevented. You should try to not blame yourself, although I know it is difficult in times of grief. I'm sure your cuddly girl does not blame you for what happened, and that she is eagerly waiting to see you again someday. Sending positive energy and love to you.

Eevee's mom
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I am so very sorry about that tragic accident which happened.

Remember this....she loved you both very much indeed. She did NOT want to ever be anywhere else. She enjoyed her life and being with you. She felt loved for who she was. It might not have been much time to you, but to her it was her whole life and she loved every minute.

My dog showed me there IS a life after death. My dog also showed me she was OK after death. Her lovely little Soul is full of love and optimism whenever I sense her presence.
I know she loves me forever as I love her, and she has shown me she is sticking around to wait to greet me when I get there too.
Hold the love like a little light. It is all you have, or will ever have, to find your way home.

Misty's Blog..a Dogfight with Cancer http://www.mistysblog69.blogspot.co.uk

Misty's life after death: http://www.dog2spirit.com
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