3_cats_mom
I have been reading this forum for the last few months, because my cat Rouquinou had been diagnosed with cancer Fibrosarcoma last year. I have been reading other guests posts in order to find some comfort. He had a surgery to remove the tumor, but it came roaring back two months later. I knew it was the end. He was going to be 14 in July, and he didn't make it. He has been having trouble walking the last few days, and he stopped eating all together two days ago. Last night, I couldn't sleep because he was suffering and his body temperature had dropped, so I knew it was probably his time. I spent the night going back and forth petting him (cuz he only wanted to stay on the floor), but this morning I had to go to work. When he heard me open the front door, he made a faint "meow". it's like he was trying to tell me not to leave him. But I did anyway cuz I had to go to work :( An hour and a half later my husband and my son called saying that he has gone to the rainbow bridge. They petted him and said goodbye to him before he died. I feel sooo bad and guilty for not being there.... obviously he cried for me :( It feels so weird that he no longer exists.... he was just here this morning when I left. It is so difficult because he was born in my house just like his brother. When I got home this afternoon, he is no longer here. He is gone forever....it makes me even wonder my own existence. What is the point of all these?

I miss his innocent/almost naive face. I will love you and miss you forever Rouquinou!
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EscapeArtist86
I'm so sorry for you. I lost my cat baby a year and half ago due to FIV and I still really miss him. It never made sense to me either but I had a small comfort because I started getting these dreams. Now, I'm not the type to be sure in a heaven for pets, even though I want to or to comfort myself that way. But I started having these surreal, real seeming dreams where he was back and healthy and happy. It felt like, in the dream, he was saying he was okay and healthy and happy now. I know, it sounds weird but I do feel like he's not really gone, that he exists in some pet heaven, as unlikely as that may sound.

I know that's no comfort when you lose a pet because you want them here, but maybe in the future, if you can believe that he's happy somewhere, it will be. I think the point of loving your pet and losing them anyway, is that they make your life so much better and vice versa. It's hard, but knowing and loving them is a gift you get I think. Anyway, I'm so sorry you lost Rouquinou, and for your pain.
Kady Jo Beaumont
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3_cats_mom
Thank you for your kind words. And me too, would like to think that there is a place or another dimension where we can reunite with our beloved pets. I hope I will get those dreams like you did. I think I owe him a proper goodbye.
And yes, they make our lives so much fuller, and that’s why it hurts so much when they are gone.
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pannklaus
I am very sorry about your loss of your precious cat Rouquinou.   We lost our cat Lenny to probable cancer several months ago.  I know it is hard that you didn't get to say good bye and weren't there in the final moments.  But you were spared from having to make the decision to have him put to sleep which we had to do.  When our babies stop eating and responding they are nearing the end and there is nothing we can do to change that.  No matter how our fur babies die or what their last moments are like we all go through the very painful grieving process.

Part of the grieving process often involves having some regrets around their death--not being there, having to make the decision about when their lives would end, etc.  But it the loss  itself that is the source of the greatest pain.  Suddenly they are no longer present as they were before, their things are reminders which need to be dealt with, it is hard to do daily activities, and all the other typical things that go with grief. There is nothing anyone in this group can do to make the pain go away.  But we can be here with you and understand what you are going through.  Again, I am very sorry about the loss of your beloved fur baby.
Patsy
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3_cats_mom
Thank you for your kind words. I know that we'll always doubt our judgement. Even if we didn't put him to sleep, I still feel guilty about not paying enough attention to his health earlier... like letting him eat junk food outside etc. And yes, it feels so empty in the house. I have always liked to stay home... watching movies, surfing online or playing video games. Now I feel bad staying at home, especially when the kids are in school. I feel very lonely even with my two other cats. It is like a piece of me is missing. 

I hope we'll all feel better soon. 
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just_lost
I'm sorry, 3_cats_mom :(

I have an especially-soft spot for cats, but I'm sad when I read or hear of anyone losing any of their animals.  I hope that you can find some comfort here; there seems to be a good number of wonderful, supportive folks who are always willing to read what you have to say, offer a kind word, or both.
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Kippys_MomMom
My sincere condolences for your loss.  Please don't feel guilty for leaving to go to work.  You did what you normally do each morning and pets get to know our schedules.  Rouquinou was saying telling you bye and he will see you again someday.  Your husband and so were there so he did not pass away alone.  He knew he was loved. 

My precious best friend passed away in the wee hours this morning while I was sleeping and I didn't get to say bye to him.  But I always told him "I love you".  I pray we all get to be together again in the next life.  
Kippy's Mom Mom
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3_cats_mom
Thank you so much for your kindness. It's very hard to lose your beloved pets. After all these years living together, having so much memories... and then loss at the end. Morning hours is the hardest for me. It is like I am forced to face the reality that he is no longer with me, very difficult to cope. I am glad that we can support each other during the hard time. 
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