Hi!  I've never done this before but I'm so sad, heartbroken and devastated.  My husband and I adopted our medium hair buff colored domestic cat from the pound 4 yrs ago.  He's been our constant buddy and we love him.  He'd not been eating recently so we took to vet yesterday and after x-rays, found he had an obstruction in his colon.  He had swallowed a string from a blanket.  they were to do surgery today but after blood work, they found he had feline leukemia and was anemia.  he wouldn't have been able to survive the surgery.  We had to make the tough decision to say goodbye.  Oh my...that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do (even harder than my diagnosis of breast cancer) Now, everything reminds me of him at home.  I can't quit crying.  How do people survive this?  I've had dogs when I was growing up but I think, as I'm aging, I see that life is fleeting.  My husband and I weren't able to have kids so Paolo was our little boy.  will the pain ease?

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Hi tamtam,

I'm so very sorry for your loss. It's utterly heartbreaking. I completely understand the grief and pain you're feeling. I wish I could say it gets easier quickly but for me the grief and doubt and guilt lingers. I have good days and bad. On the bad days the tears won't stop.

Our little furry companions are just so fragile. But their devotion to us is unshakeable. Paolo was clearly loved and given an amazing life as a rescue. I know it's nearly impossible right now but try to focus on the life and love you gave him. 

The pain will lessen and the grief will fade. But it will take time. The grief you're feeling probably seems insurmountable. But it is equal in intensity to the love. It will get better even though it doesn't seem that way now. The pain will lessen in time. But let yourself cry and grieve and hurt. Miss him with the same depth that you loved him.

These forums and the compassion and shared pain you will find here are vital when dealing with such a loss. I've found so much comfort here and on other pet loss forums. I don't know how else I would get through each day.

Be well,

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Tamtam, so very sorry for your loss. Its absolutely devastating when we have to say goodbye to our best little friends. We lost our old dog Jim almost 10 weeks ago, like you we have no kids, so he was also our baby.  At first the grief is so deep you can`t see a way through it, but you will - it just takes time, and you must be kind to yourself. I started to keep a journal when we lost Jim and I found it helped so much. I just wrote all the memories that popped into my head, things from when he was a pup that I thought I`d forgotten ( he was 17 when he had to be pts ). I still write in it - I tell him how I`m feeling - if we`ve been on his favourite walks etc.  But this site is wonderful, everyone is going through the same thing, and are so caring.
        Hugs to you, Jackie. x
J Taylor
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I am so sorry for your loss. Our cat was like our son, too. The pain does fade; I know this because we have lost two other cats. My first cat Sally, was with me for 16 years. I am left with the most lovely memories and I know I've given my three furkids the best life I could, just as you have given your Paolo the best life possible.
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GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!!!  I am so sorry!  I know exactly how it feels, the freshness of making that decision of saying "goodbye".  OMG, just devastating and it translates your entire body, mind soul and spirit to another level.   You're in a daze from shear agony and pain, unable to stop crying.  Like, where is all this water coming from?  If you can allow yourself, be like a puppet on a string for the 1st week and don't expect NORMAL.  Do whatever it takes to "get through", holding a stuffed animal to hug, or wailing, or holding your beloved picture in your arms in bed, whatever, whatever!   No limits and just focus on getting through the 1st week.  

This will not register now, but it **WILL** ease up cause all of us have gone through it already.   It will.  There's not one of us that can tell you it won't, ok?   The missing and loving and loss will always be there cause it's LOVE, but the "mourning" is different.  It is designed for the human body for only a season.  Also, GOD SPIRIT is with you whether you feel it or not, ok?   He is hugging you **and** your beloved because your beloved is really not dead!!  Why?  Because your beloved was the actual "soul" that you loved!   That soul still lives with Jesus now!

You may want to get the book,  "Cold Noses at the Pearly Gates" by Gary Kurz, it is exceptional.  It helped me get through the 1st 30 days.  It is a pet Bible devotional, ok?    I WILL PRAY FOR YOU.  If you need to call my # is 407 729 4418.  Blessing....
Vicki Mattingly 
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I'm so sorry for your loss and truly know how you feel. I'm sitting here crying because I have to make the decision soon to put my cat to sleep as he has FIP for which there is no cure. I'm devastated he's only 3 yrs old and I thought I would have him for years he was so loved and minded. I've had to put a cat and dog to sleep in the last few years and while it's so hard to do you know it's the right thing for them . It does get easier and you will remember all the good times but it takes time and is different for each of us.
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