2004 we got a pup had him 11 years. Sam was a toy poodle he had a cough for a couple weeks so we took him to the vet about 2 months ago to make sure it was not his heart since he was 11 the vet said it might be allergies so gave him antibiotics and coughing meds the coughing stopped but he gained a little weight so last week he lost the extra weight. this past Friday Sam stopped eating but drinking alot of water then threw up yesterday he was just laying around drinking throwing up and still not eating the animal hospital around us wanted 500 upfront before looking at him this morning he had a massive diarrhea Explosion we cleaned him up then he had another couple than we knew it was his time to go around 645 I told sam its ok sam u can go he died peacefully tonight at 700 11/22/15 but I cant stop crying I keep blaming myself I could have done something to help him its soo hard I had him since he was 6 weeks old
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healing vibes
don't try to do too much, be kind to yourself. We control every aspect of there lives, we think we should control their death too.  I had litter mates up to 2 months ago.  In their early life I didn't have any money, and worried all the time about being able to take care of them if they got sick.  Ironically, once I did have money, one of them did get sick and money only seem to keep her boderline miserable.  Know that his suffering was short and is over. Remember to hold a place for all memories, not just the last hours. 
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I am so sorry for your loss and believe it is massive loss, I lost my dog Bailey on Friday 20/11/15 and he was in the vet hospital for 5 days I finally made a decision to put my best mate to sleep on that day.

Remember unlike my Bailey your Sam died at home with his family around him and that would have meant everything to your pet.

I am going through the same unbearable hurt as you are, looking for my little mate everywhere and walking around with a permanent photo of him in my minds eye.

What keeping me going is the fact that I give him all the love I could and he give me all the love he could.

I know it is hard as it is for me but we will both get through it and what will remain is our Happy memories of love between us and our pets, the funny things they done and the joy they give us
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