My 13 year old chihuahua mix Lucy was just diagnosed with aggressive cancer. The cancer has already spread from her kidney, and there is nothing the vet can do. The vet thinks that we have 3-4 weeks left with her. This hit my wife and I extremely hard. She seems so healthy. About a month ago she started occasionally not wanting to eat. We feed her three times per day, and she started skipping a meal here and there. We didn't think much of it because other than that she seemed fine. She was still running around, playing with our other dog normally. When she threw up a couple of times we decided to take her in to the vet. The vet put a hand on her abdomen, and we could instantly tell by the vets expression that something was wrong. The vet took an x-ray which showed one of her kidneys had a mass about the size of a baseball. We then took Lucy to the animal hospital for an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed the mass, and also discovered that it has spread. The cancer has spread so much that there is nothing they can do. The only good thing is that she doesn't seem to be in any pain, or suffering at all. She still has energy, and is still happy.

Lucy is my first ever dog, which is making this extra hard for me. Maybe it seems strange, but I'm really upset by the fact that she really has no Idea what's going on. My wife and I have decided to try really hard to not get selfish, and to put her down as soon as it seems like she is starting to suffer. It absolutely breaks my heart thinking about having to make that decision. I can't stand the fact that when we have to take her to the vet for the final time she's going to trust me enough to hop in the car and assume we're going somewhere fun. I hate that when she actually has to get the injection she's going to be trusting me that nothing bad is going to happen. I guess I feel like I'm betraying her or someone. I worry about our other dog whom loves her, and is extremely nervous without her. I'm trying so hard to not get so upset, so I can enjoy the time that we have left. I'm going to spoil her so much while she's still feeling OK. Dog ownership is the greatest and worst thing at the same time! Thanks for reading this, it feels a little bit better to get it out there.
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My hearts breaks for you both.  I understand your pain and the "knowing" of what's coming is really emotionally painful.  Their pain threshold is so great, that even when they are "diagnosed", they play and "look" fine.  But, we know and it is so upsetting. 
When my beloved Sol (male doggie) was diagnosed. 
I could not hold back the tears.. .. and, in the middles of my crying, "Sol looked up to me", almost like saying, "I'm still here"

My only advice, even if your heart is in a thousand pieces, "stay in the moment" - and, just like you said "spoil Lucy so much".  Please believe that you are not alone in this journey.  We will listen and offer comfort. Prayers and hugs.   
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Thank you for reading my long post! We're trying so hard to be in the moment and spend as much quality time as we can with her. Reading some of the other posts here is helpful. So glad that I found this place.
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Eric I’m soo very sorry you, your wife and your Lucy are on this journey. I couldn’t agree with Sil more. The very hardest thing you will have to do right now is to enjoy every moment. This, the right now will move so fast. It’s really hard to not think about it to the point you are just overcome with emotions. I look back at the hours of tears and wish I’d had the strength to stop them, it’s hard. I already know you are going to spoil her to no end and shower her with love.
I’m also concerned about your other one. Mine are litter mates that I had from birth and like yours extremely close. My Tankie was the leader, her sister, Browns wasn’t complete without her in life. I had to get another soon after for her emotional health and physical health. You’ll know -
This site is a Godsend. Write as much as you wish, it does help to have others who really get it, take care,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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