BorderCollieLover
I have been keeping a journal about my beloved Border Collie. Just started several days ago. It's my way of dealing with her loss. I'm still feeling intense grief and pain and this been therapeutic. I got Shelby way back in 2002 when she was just (8) months old. Here's some thoughts and feelings of our 1st several months together. 

The year is 2002 and Shelby has really settled in very nicely with my life-style. We seem to be in sync with one another. Shelby loves to catch a frisbee. I've been playing it with her each and every day. Border Collies are natural herders and fetchers. They really seem to excel at things like: agility, flyball, herding, spring board diving and, of course, frisbee catching. My next door neighbors like to come outside and watch her perform. I think Shelby senses that she has that talent and loves having the neighbors watch. She's even taken the bold step of dropping the frisbee right at the neighbor's feet and barking once to let them know that it's their turn to throw it to her. It becomes readily apparent early on that she is very proficient at frisbee catching. So much so, that several of my friends have suggested that "you may want to consider entering her in a regular competition." I had already thought about about that but the truth of the matter is that I didn't get Shelby to be a show dog. I didn't want her to be regimented and be under constant pressure to perform. I got her to be my special Soul-Mate and nothing more. It's a decision that I have never regretted. As far as agility goes, I did consider getting weave poles just to see how she would do but, once again, I decided not to as I didn't want her training daily just to satisfy someone else's standard of unrealized potential. I don't live vicariously through my dog - I live for her companionship and love. nothing more.  So she'll have her frisbee catching, long walks and a chance to socialize with other dogs (like my neighbors). That's a good life. 
Jim Miller
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CK1991
Hi Jim, I’m sorry for you loss! I enjoyed reading your journal entry about your beloved Shelby and I agree that it is therapeutic. Shelby was definitely a special girl. I love that you didn’t have her as a show dog. It shows how much you loved her and how much you wanted her to just be a happy dog. Mission accomplished!
Hugs to you!
CK
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BorderCollieLover
CK:

  Thank You so much. Yes, the journal is helping me deal with this. I laugh, I cry, I get angry when I write this stuff down. It is certainly evoking all kinds of emotions and bringing them to the fore. I write only as much as I can handle that particular day. Some days I write a lot; other days nothing at all. We all process our grief in different ways. This is my way. Take care and I really appreciate you reading this. 

Jim
Jim Miller
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CK1991
Hi Jim, It’s good to let out all those emotions while you’re writing your journal. I love how you treated Shelby and I think you gave her a very happy life. It will be comforting to know that you did your best for her. These journal entries will also be invaluable! Hugs to you!
CK
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BorderCollieLover
CK:

  Thanks for your kind words. Shelby did have a great life. I loved her (and always will) so much. Today is exactly (5) weeks since she passed and the pain is still very real. It hurts. Yes, the journal has helped somewhat. I haven't done any entries lately. I have so many memories of my little girl and will be sharing more about her when I feel up to it. I hope you are finding some peace in your life as well. Take care.

Jim
Jim Miller
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