So I saw some posts of people telling stories about their pets. I wanted to do the same. Although I apologize for how long this is!!! It's very tl;dr I bet but I wanted to type out her story and all the good she's done.

My kitty, Jasmine, saved my life.

TW: Bullying, suicide mention.

Some backstory: I was a young child living in a very private / rural road. Wooded area, dirt road, it was all family. Anyways our road happened to be a prime dumping ground for dogs, sadly. So before I had Jasmine I had a bunch of other pets. Stray, abandoned, poor dogs. Even dogs from the neighborhood that were abandoned showed up here. We would help them and we ended up having many get families. I can look back and think about at least fifteen or twenty we helped care for, including puppies, and how as a kid I felt like the coolest kid ever when the bus rolled up and all the animals would wait there with no one else. You see the bus couldn't go down the road so I had to walk half a mile in the wooded area to get home. I always would get off the bus to at least four or five dogs waiting patiently by the road and who'd walk me home. They protected me. They even use to go to the bus doors, gently bite my sleeves or shirt, and gingerly pull me away from the bus and road since they seemed concerned I'd get hit. So?? Animals and I have been a huge thing.

( One day I should make a post detailing all the dogs because so many of them, even to this day, left an impact and I remember all their names and personalities. )

Now I bring this up because for the longest time we only ever had dogs ( oh and birds! two actually, frosty & crystal! and a fish we called goldie! ). I had one cat beforehand that I knew that was my grandmothers who was an outdoors kitty that knew me as a toddler. But other than that? Zero cat skills.

So for me cats were the coolest thing because they were 'unknown'. I know it sounds weird. And one day I randomly said to my mom, after we went across the country and stayed with a friend of hers who had a cat, that 'I want a cat as well'.

A few months later on Christmas I'm opening presents. My mom made a noise and my dad quickly left the room saying he needed to get 'toilet paper' ( it's so weird how I remember this!! lol ) and then he let out this dramatic sound and came out. Holding this beautiful white kitten with an upside down grey v-shape on her head ( that faded with time ) and I was smitten right away. The Aladdin tv show, the cartoon on toon disney, was on. And I just went "SHE'S A PRETTY PRINCESS LIKE JASMINE SO THAT'S HER NAME."

Anyways as you can imagine there's a difference between cats and dogs. As a child I had to learn this. So there were times I wouldn't understand her properly. As, also during this time, we had puppies that had been born by a mother that was abandoned here so I spent a lot of time helping with them until we found them families.

But once I started? I fell madly in love with Jasmine. I remember we use to roll up paper balls and play 'volleyball' where I'd flick a paper ball and she'd lift her foot up and swat it. How I'd hide around corners, pop my head out, and she'd wiggle her rear and come running. I'd spin around with a shoelace in the kitchen and we'd call it 'kitty windmill' because she'd run in circles at a high speed so she was just a blur of white. How as a kitten Christmas, even to this day actually, was her favorite time. She loved climbing the tree, finding her stocking, attacking the wrapping paper. How making the bed as a kid was more fun than a chore because she'd hide under the covers and pop out to 'getcha'. How she was jealous of a dog and whenever we said his name she'd come running and press her face against yours and lay on your face until you had to pick her up.

I remember excitedly buying her a bunch of nice toys. And getting home only to watch her reject them and then play with a plastic straw that fell on the floor. We bought her this nice scratching post. She ignored it and scratched the box instead. I remember how we always knew when it was getting colder because she'd become much cuddlier and lay on us or get in the bed and stretch out and keep doing so until we scooted further over for her.

So how did she save my life?

In Middle & High School I was bullied severely. To the point where going to school hurt me. Every day I was mocked, assaulted, made fun of. I was also sexually harassed by a student and other friends of his while my friend did nothing. I cried most days and hated myself. Even to this day I have zero self-esteem and self-confidence issues. I have such bad social anxiety that going to the store I purposely wait in another aisle so I won't have to speak to people or be nearby until they move. I contemplated and even attempted suicide but before I could I usually got too scared and stopped myself.

I remember one day was really bad. I was sobbing on the bus, I sobbed on the walk home, and when I got home and saw nobody there I was like "today's the day." I remember preparing for it when, outside of the door, I heard her scratching. I tried to ignore it but her scratching got louder and her foot came under the crack of the door. I remember being frustrated because I wanted to end it and my cat was stopping me and distracting me. She kept up and I eventually walked over and opened the door. She darted in and rubbed against my legs and meowed. So I walked out with her to make her some food since I realized she didn't eat yet and was hungry.

After I fed her I had enough time to clear my head. She ate and immediately started to bat her paper ball around and I laughed. I ended up playing with her and calming myself down until we were both laying on the couch watching television with her snug against my leg. It got me thinking about who would play as much with her, snuggle her as much, and do her favorite things. I was the only one who could do 'kitty windmill', I was the only one that would run and she'd chase happily. I realized that if I killed myself that she wouldn't have a young friend to play with who could keep up with her as much. My parents worked and my grandmother was too old to chase a cat around.

If she hadn't scratched, meowed, or popped her foot under the door I probably wouldn't have thought of any of that in my state of despair and would probably not be here today.

I was stilled bullied badly up until my senior year. But whenever I had a bad day I'd just come home and we'd lay together, play, or I'd talk out loud to her. I graduated and moved and she came right along with me. She was 9 at the time of the move. And I remember apologizing to her so much in the car because she was SO mad at me. Just meowing and whining and glaring at me. We got to the new place and we put her in one room to allow her to adjust.  She met my step-dad who fell for her instantly and carried her inside with the biggest grin. Didn't even help me with my bags he was just "I got the Queen".

When my mom got pregnant, found out about it in 2011, we were all a bit worried. Jasmine never did good around babies and kids. She often got scared and hissed or tried to attack if kids got close. Simply because I had a dumb cousin when I was young that was rough with her that made her dislike other kids sadly. So we kept her separate from them behind gates so she could get use to them. But she LOVED my siblings. I remember she was allowed to see them in their car seats during their first days. My mom held her just so she wouldn't try and bite or claw out of fear if one of the kids moved too quickly. But all Jasmine did was purr and stare at them. Sniffing them happily. When they started to crawl she walked ahead of them and let them follow her. She would come up to the baby gates and peek her nose through to let the kids pet her and give her treats. She would let the kids put stuff on her without a complaint. She once entered my room with a frog plush on her back that she seemed perfectly content with.

And before you say "maybe she was better with kids than you thought" no. She couldn't stand any other kids except my siblings. My cousin brought her son and Jasmine would hide and avoid him. The neighborhood kids came over and she only liked one of them but the others she'd glare at and avoid. She just... only really loved my siblings and would love on them. She was very protective of our family so outsiders she 'guarded' us from. And by 'guarded' I mean she'd either a ) hiss or b ) just give the stank face to before going back to sleep. ( An amazing guard kitty indeed LOL ).

She was there for me when I lost my grandpa. I remember sobbing hard in 2012 and her coming in and just laying by me. How I struggled to not cry and she'd just stare at me with those knowing green eyes until I broke down and she'd purr and nuzzle me. She always seemed to let me know that crying was okay and that she was there. When I came back from the funeral she was at the door and laid with me that night under the covers.

I had wisdom teeth surgery, impacted badly, and I had to recover. Through my recovery she laid with me. Even during those moments where I was in such pain I sobbed or couldn't do much she was there. I remember feeling frustrated because I couldn't eat and was hungry and was about to give up trying to keep food in my mouth, everything would spill out, and she licked some of the food off my chin and I finally managed to get the spoon in my mouth and get applesauce down as she purred. She then fell asleep against me as I watched television and fell asleep also. Temporarily forgetting my jaw pain.

I once fainted from dehydration on the kitchen floor. My mom ran over but when I opened my eyes my kitty was there at my face licking my forehead also before my mom picked me up. When I was taken to the hospital I saw her staring out the window with her fur all puffed up looking worried for me. When I came back that night she sat on my bed and purred against me and seemed to nuzzle where I had an IV at. She stayed with me all night and in the morning she didn't go eat breakfast until I was up also. I think she was worried I might fall again because when I walked she stayed right by my feet staring up at me until she realized I was okay.

I still think about how if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here. How I wouldn't have moved, met my siblings, learned to be happier ( even though her passing has devastated me I've learned her love brought me such joy that I want to be able to give another animal just as much love again in the future ), how all the smiles and laughter and memories wouldn't be here if not for her. She helped my siblings learn about pets. Even as babies and toddlers they were gentle. They never grabbed her rough, they petted her gently, she gave her seven years of her love. I have so many photos of her laying beside them and videos of her behind baby gates watching them and videos of her walking around with their toys on her without a care in the world. How she'd snuggle up to their toys as well or lay on their blankets to 'warm them up'.

She was full of patience and love and lived a long seventeen years. She truly was an angel for me and I wish I could have one more day. But looking back at all the memories, all the fun and love, I realize that we had so many 'days' and moments that I can't even count. I'm just glad I was able to give her a happy life and help her suffering after she helped my own. I made sure she was no longer in pain and she peacefully passed in my arms after causing me to have peace and happiness during times of my life when I could never imagine it. There will never be another Jasmine. But I hope someday I can take all the love and affection she gave me and help another animal feel as beloved as her. 

By the way I'm sorry for how long this is. It's just that she was so full of love and helped and protected and saved me and taught me so much. I doubt even this post could do her justice. She had such a personality. Going from the most loving and protective cat to a straight aloof trickster that would ignore you for days and then randomly come by and nuzzle you like "love me I demand it now". She was well loved by so many and so many people knew she was more than just a cat / pet. 

She really was my Christmas Miracle.

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Amanda, what a beautiful story about your Queen Jasmine. She really did save your life, and you must miss her so much. You were lucky to have her for 17 years and she was lucky to have you. It is so wonderful for you to be able to recount all the beautiful memories she gave you. I'm sorry for her loss and I know one day you will be able to pay her love forward to another deserving little fur baby.
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Amanda, thank you for sharing your wonderful story.
What an amazing bond you and Jasmine shared, Both of you are very special. I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you can find comfort in the joyous moments you shared with your special friend. I'm sure she'll continue to watch over you. Your little white angel <3

Mom to Millie, Roman, Snoopy & step sister to O'Boy
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Normally when I post on Rainbow Bridge, I'm an advice guy. I'm not one for offering condolences; there is plenty of that at RB. But for your tribute to Jasmine, there's no advice needed, other than that you have nothing to apologize for. I'm grateful to you, not just for Jasmine's story, but for yours. It shows what a blessing and a miracle cats are. My only regret is never having the opportunity to scratch Jasmine's chin. Thanks for the pictures.  

Both you and Jasmine were lucky and blessed to have each other. I wish you nothing but the best, always. 
B Weinstein
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This is indeed a very special "love story".  Jasmine was there when you needed her the most, she saved you from yourself.  Jasmine was/is your "white-cat-angel". 
I was reading not just with my eyes but with my heart...… and, your words are so full of love, thank you for sharing the story of you and Jasmine.  (((Hugs)))
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Amanda this is pure love and beauty. Amazing. Thank you soo much for sharing I really think this helps us all to see such positivity in all of our grief as well as ours. You’re an inspiration and she truly is your Christmas miracle and your precious *Guardian Angel Jasmine* is still with you making sure you never fall again,,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Thank you for sharing your story. What an amazing animal you had. She was truly a miracle.
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