KimK
We adopted Rae last May from a rescue group set up at Petsmart.  We weren't even planning to add another dog to our family, but there was something about her.  We went in for dog food and came out with a dog.

She was approx. 2-3 yrs old, picked up as a stray with a litter of puppies, and heartworm positive.  Her puppies were adopted and she was the only one left.  I couldn't leave her.....

She had fit perfectly into our family.  She underwent all the treatment to cure her heartworms and seemed perfectly healthy.  She was the best dog.....sweet, obedient, loving, good with the kids and she was my dog.  She followed me, sat with me, snuggled with me and had to sleep with me.  I kept telling my husband how much I LOVED this dog.  He teased me because she was the size of a real baby--22lbs and chubby.

Well, this past Monday my 8 yr old son and I were locking up the house to leave for work/school and called the dogs in.  2 came in, but Rae didn't.  We stepped out to look for her and to my horror I found her in our swimming pool.  I don't know what happened!!  I screamed and ran to pull her out.  I tried some sort of CPR on her, but saw a little blood in her mouth and stopped I thought I was hurting her and not helping.  I ran in and called the vet for help.  They told me to bring her in.  I raced her to the vet within 5-10 mins.  I begged and begged them to save her!!!  They came back in a few minutes and said it was too late. 

I am Heartbroken and devastated over this.  WHY DIDN'T I CHECK ON THEM SOONER?  WHY DIDN'T I HEAR ANYTHING?  WHY COULDN'T I SAVE HER?  The guilt is eating me alive!  I have the image replaying in my head and I think of what her thoughts were as she struggled that I wasn't there to help her.  I let her down.

It's 4 days later and I feel no better.  I want her back!!  It's not fair that I rescued her only for her life to end this way!  I don't know how to go on without her!!!  I didn't get enough time with her.  5 months is not long enough.....................


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judylinn

Im so very sorry. It doesnt seem fair at all. what a tragedy. you pain must be so agonizing. Just let it out as much as you can, thats the best way. and know that we will be here for you.  Judy

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GrievingGinger
I am so sorry you are going through this and that you had to find her that way. The shock and pain you are going through is really hard. Try to take it day by day and try not to place guilt onto yourself. Although too short, it sounds like you gave her a really good life. Take comfort in that.

There are many people, including myself, who had to endure a tragic death of a loved companion. There is not much I can say but that to take care of yourself. Cry when you need to. Come here when you need to. You will find a lot of support, compassion and understanding from many here.

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DebbieD

I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Rae. The short time you had her along with seeing her like that are combining to make this even harder than it already would be. You're still in shock, and I'm hoping that you will come to see that even though it was way, way too short, you gave her a loving home when she may have never had that before - and may not have had it even now if you hadn't opened your heart taken her in. And it's so clear from your post how much she loved and adored you for giving her that home.

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donnalee
Oh, KimK, these are the kinds of posts that just rip my heart in two.  I feel so badly for you because it is so unexpected and tragic.  You just could not have predicted something like this.  There are quite a few people here who have gone through very tragic losses, not exactly the same way, but unexpected, tragic and leaving the person feeling very guilty.  Please continue to come here, as you are able, so you can share what you are going through.  There is a lot of wisdom here on these threads.  You will find many sympathetic ears here at this website.  I am truly so very sorry that you and your precious Rae had to go through this terrible trauma.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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GentleGeorge

Oh Kim, accidents happen and it's so unfair.   I can only imagine your grief but please dont blame yourself, Rae would hate to think you are blaming yourself.  I heard this past summer so many children drown in pools.  It's terrible but things happen in a blink of an eye and you can't change it no matter how much we wish it could be.  Unless you are with them 24 hours a day, there's always a chance something tragic can happen.  I'm so sorry to hear of your pain...it is sad to lose a pet anytime.  Is there a pet loss group you can go to that might give you immediate assistance.  There are some in most cities.  Maybe it might help?  Guilt is a terrible thing, I think we all go thru things like that with our pets no matter what the reason.  I wish you peace thru this trying time. 

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KimK
a friend suggested this site the day after Rae died. I read through so many posts and cried for Rae and others that were going through the same pain as me. it took a few days to get my thoughts together to post. I don't feel so alone. Thank~you all for support and kind words. it means more than i can express.

Today has been a tough day. We left for a family camping trip. We were excited as it would have been Rae's first trip with us. I feel silly because i tucked her collar in my pocket when we were leaving. Part of me wants the pain to go away,but I'm scared to forget.
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judylinn
those were my exact feeling KimK. I was scared for awhile that I would forget, but as the time moves on, there is alot of healing, but my love for all that Maddie was, is still there strong.  when you have a love that deep in your heart, it wont disappear. That was a sweet thing to do, tucking her collar in your pocket, I would do the same, and have done things like that.
Let us know how you are doing. we all care.  Judy :)
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tikibarb
Forgetting was my biggest fear.  Not so much me forgetting him, but him forgetting me.  In the 3 months since I lost Ted, I haven't forgotten anything and I feel a special spiritual closeness to him.  I can feel him sometimes and I may be crazy, but I really believe he is watching over me.  You will never forget.  Your special bond was from the heart and the heart never forgets.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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sadiesmom
I'm thinking of you KimK and so sorry for this terrible accident that took your Rae. I lost my girl Sadie two weeks ago today so I know some of the pain you are experiencing: it is unlike anything I have experienced. 5 months is such a terribly short time, but 5 months of a beautiful life with someone she loved is worth so much. My dad has been trying to impart on me throughout this that life is all about quality and so little about how long you live. You made her last 5 months on earth the best time of her life, I'm sure.
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ranchwoman
Hi i had almost the same thing happen except it was on our ranch.  We were sorting cows and I thought I heard a weird noise but was too busy sorting the cows and didn't pay attention and I should have.  One of our little schnauzers (Tiny) had fallen into the big water tank over in the next corral and was drowning that was the noise I heard.  Why didn't I stop everything and go see what that noise was.  I felt terrible about it for a long time.  But I have worked through it and realize that some things just happen.  You can't go on blaming yourself for it she, like my Tiny had an awesome home and a happy life.  My Tiny was only 8 months old.  How he got in that big water tank I'll never know but it happened.  It does get better as the days go by and just remember you gave her an awesome life and saved her from the deadly heart worms and gave her a good home.   Try hard not to let it get you down.  Things happen for a reason and sometimes we just don't know why.   Take care of yourself and as the days go by you will feel better.
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