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MelissaB

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Reply with quote  #1 
Today has been difficult.  It's been a week since I had to say goodbye to my Bubbie.  I still miss him dearly but I can think of him sometimes now without feeling like I have been punched in the stomach.  I have had a few pictures made so that I can see him wherever I go.  Didn't really need them when he was here.  I really need them now.  It's funny how you take something for granted until they are gone.  I find myself still reaching beside me at night.  He loved to sleep curled up against the back of my knees.  For the longest time we wouldn't allow him under the covers but finally realized that we shouldn't be sweating the small stuff like sleeping with cat hair.  We pretty much let him have his way in the end.  What I wouldn't do to see that lump under the covers now!  I have some of the funniest pictures with just his tail sticking out.  I could go into the bedroom and poke him through the covers and I would get the usual "maaw" to let me know he was sleeping. 
Sorry to be rambling but he is really on my mind today. 
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Susie_Squillions

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Reply with quote  #2 
Awwww...T.J. was an undercover cat, too.  I still have his blanket at the foot of the bed, underneath the turned-back comforter.  I haven't pulled the comforter up more than once since Teege has been gone.  That was when we had company, and as soon as they left, the first thing I did was turn the comforter back down to cover the blanket.  I don't want to disturb my perfect little ghost cat who might be napping in his old spot. :'(   I wish I had pictures of the lump in our bed, or the tail sticking out from under the covers.  That is such a funny thing to see.  "Oh, yeah...you're a stealth kitty."

I often sit on the bed and pat the spot where T.J. used to spend so much of his time, whispering to him.  I have faith that he is especially close to me during those private times.  If anyone thinks I'm crazy, so what?  I've been called worse, and if it helps to comfort me, who does it hurt?

Another thing I do when I'm having trouble drifting off to sleep is to imagine T.J. curled up in front of me, Buddy behind my knees, and Bingo on top of me.  Those were their spots when they were here physically, and imagining my angel kitties in their rightful spots helps to soothe me to sleep.  Of course, the fact that little Gidget insists on sleeping on my pillow right in front of my face sometimes keeps me awake a while longer, but far be it from me to displace her!  ;-)  I know that chances are, one day in the distant future I will long for her presence there again.  Each angel will always have his or her own spot which they won't have to share with anyone else.

Sending hugs and wishes for continued healing.



__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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Susie_Squillions

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Reply with quote  #3 
By the way, Melissa:  Have you checked the cancer forum for information to help you with Fritzi's treatment?  I believe Barbara posted something of interest there for you.

__________________
My heart is battered and bruised, but I will not let it break. It holds such precious cargo, I must protect it now. (Susie Squillions)

"Memories of loved ones are like songs in our soul." Margaret Wakeley

T.J.'S RESIDENCY:
http://RainbowsBridge.com/residents/TJ006/Resident.htm

BUDDY GUY AYRES~LYNCH'S RESIDENCY:
http://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/Buddy128/resident.HTM

KING BING THE GOD CAT'S RESIDENCY:
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/BINGO009/Resident.htm

In one of the stars, I shall be living.
In one of them, I shall be laughing.
And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.
~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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MelissaB

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Reply with quote  #4 
Susie, I did read what Barbara posted.  I looked it up but didn't find a whole lot on it.  The product that I found is a all natural product.  I have a call in to her oncologist to see what she says about it.  I just don't know if I want to put Fritzi through the chemo.  She is a very high strung cat and doesn't like the vet much.  She growls and hisses as soon as she sees anyone wearing scrubs!  They said her heart looked enlarged also, so the whole experience of the chemo treatments might take a lot out of her.  We have a lady that takes care of our babies when we go out of town.  She was a vet tech for 14 years and she said she would go the natural way if given the choice.  She has been very good for us.  She is the one who taught us how to give Bubbie his sub q fluids.  The vet just gave us a bag and that huge needle and said you need to start doing this.  I want to do what is best for Fritzi. 
It's so cute that your little guy loved to sleep under the covers.  It is still so very hard to look at the bed and not see that lump.  I also pet the blanket beside me sometimes at night imagining him still there.  I have a picture on my night stand that I kiss each night also. 
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