My first post was 9-22-16.  Two days after my best friend, a sweet, cuddly, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel named Silas (Si for short) died.  Today marks one year since his passing.  I've been preparing myself for about a week for this day to come.  I don't know what to feel.  There are days where I miss him dearly, and days where he doesn't come to mind.  I decided to watch some videos I have saved of him.  They still make me cry because all the memories come flooding back.  I get to hear his whines, the sound his nails made as he walked across the hardwood floor, the way his bum would wiggle as he would prance around a room, the way he would look up at me and I would just smile.  These videos make me so happy and so sad, but I love them.  They make me miss him even more.  
No one has called or texted me about him today, not that I was expecting anyone.  Maybe my family doesn't remember it was this day last year.  Maybe they realize it's probably easier if they don't acknowledge it.  Honestly, I think it is easier that no one has brought it up.  I don't even know what I'd say if someone were to call.  But it makes me wonder, is it okay that I have these feelings?  
It does get easier as time goes on, but every now and then something will happen and I'll be reminded of Si.  He brought so much happiness to my life.  I'll never forget him, and I'll always love him.    
I do want to mention that about a month after Si's passing, I found an article that contains a quote from an anonymous person about grieving over a friend's death.  I'm going to post the link below.  It helped me through a lot of pain, even though this quote relates to a person.  I read it whenever I miss Si.

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I completely understand your feelings since the anniversary of my Katie's passing was just yesterday.  It was very emotional and I cried more then I had in a long time.  Only ones that acknowledged her one year anniversary were people from this forum and the vet from Lap of Love who came out to the house on that day.  

It was hard enough to get too many people in my life to understand the emotion I was having about her passing even last year when it just happened.. much less today a year later.. so I didnt' expect much acknowledgement from others.  I just think they don't get the profound connection we had with these special ones.

And if the scar is deep, so was the love. .. so true from the article you posted.  Take care of yourself .. spend some time remembering your Silas today.. and have some good cries. 



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Thinking of yous Emilyann & Karen on the anniversary of losing your baby's . I'm at week 6 today and I can't get over it and I know I wont ever get over it . I'm still in shock my baby boy gizmo isn't here , I loved him more than life itself, my hart is crushed x sending much love and hugs to yous x Annemarie
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Dear Emily,
I wish I has seen your post yesterday bu hopefully it's okay if I reply today.
Of course it is okay for you to have these feelings and to miss your beloved Si especially on this special anniversary of his death. I feel bad that no one called you but we need to realize that not everyone understands how important and how much a part of our lives our babies really become. I bet Si was a handsome boy! It's so nice that you have videos of him to watch and I think it was a nice tribute to him to do that on his anniversary. I can see how it would also make you feel sad watching them.
Thank you for posting this link, very kind!
I'm so very sorry for your loss! Sending hugs out to you,
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