I'm a 44 yo old gay man from Brazil.
Since I was a child I've always had dogs.

First ones were a mutt and a dachshund.
Then I had 2 siberian huskies and kept one of their puppies for myself.

Over the years, as they died, I noticed that my grief never gets better.
It's hidden and sometimes I spend weeks or months not paying attention to it.
But it's always there.

Every once in a while, like today, it surfaces, and I get very very sad.

In my darkest days I'm even happy that I won't live forever, so I won't have to stand that forever.

Nowadays I have 2 dogs: once again a mutt and a dachshund.

Anyways, I wonder if the  pain somehow lessens as the years go by.

Do any of you feel the same way?
Thanks for reading. 2015-02-22 20.15.25 (2).jpg
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I am now experiencing my second hasn’t gotten easier. Oddly enough I know that I too am older and I won’t have to live too long before I will get to see my beloved pups...I cry, my heartaches, I want to see doesn’t ever go away...

But your fur babies love you and they always will.
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Pandre - Hello, and welcome to the forum, despite the very sad circumstances that bring us together. I love the photo of your dog..such a beautiful expression! You've always been surrounded by dogs, and it reminds me of a friend whose parents bred German Shephards and Dachsunds. He couldn't imagine a life without dogs, and always had at least 2 or 3 of his own.

Over time, they died, and I don't believe the grief ever goes away. I think we do our very best to adjust and adapt to a completely different reality, one that feels utterly alien at the beginning when the terrible truth sinks in that we have lost someone precious to us and he/she will not be returning.

I lost my dear cat Sammi almost 2 months ago, when he was only 2.5 years old, and the adjustment to my new reality has been jagged. The only thing that helps is to be able to talk about it with people who have experienced the same thing, and to find strategies that work for us. We all respond differently to grief, and how we process our sadness will be unique to each individual.

I have a resources/links thread on the forum with articles and videos that have been helpful, if you are inclined to take a look.

I'm glad you've joined us here, and that we can support one another. 

Sending you warm regards from Canada. 
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So sorry for your loss and what you are going through. What a beautiful dog!
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