it has been two weeks tonite that i found my little siah passed away in bed.. i just can't get that out of my mind..his laying body cold there. i have been waking up couple of times at nite for last week or so like i can't breath and i am picturing his little face next to me in bed purring and then going to sleep next to me, waking up every morning only meowing when he wants his food.
i never lost a pet in the past so iguess this is normal or with time it will get better.?
it just happened so fast and the poor thing never meow like i don't feel good please help me and save me because i want to stay here with you..
it is just so tough..
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Hopefully you will never forget the bond you had and love never will die.
 I have lost my beloved 4 pawed companions in the past, and now I'm dealing with Sasha's passing.
 With Sasha I created a memorial at Rainbow Bridge in her honor, I wish I had done that with my boys.
 I try not to think of her death, that moment, but her life. Celebrate Siah's life my writing the memories out. Communicate with people who understand your loss, and remember Siah is not in her sick body now but is free.
 My Sasha had so many medical problems, the kicker was cancer, how long she held on while she endured pain I didn't understand.
 There is not a moment in a day I don't miss her, but I know she isn't suffering now.
 Siah like Sasha died in his own home, what better way to move into the other world.
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It is such a difficult journey, isn't it? Less than three months ago I lost my beloved companion Mollie, and the road has been a hard one for me.

I too would wake up at night, unable to breathe- I felt like I had stopped breathing altogether- it is horrible, but perhaps it is due to the grief? I don't know. Sometimes, I wished that I could die as well, just to be with her again.

In my limited experience (Mollie was the only dog that I have lost in my life) it will take some time to begin to feel remotely normal- three months on and I am beginning to feel ok on some days!! I do think of her every day, still carry my loss on my sleeve and shed a few quiet tears for her every day, but slowly things are becoming a bit better.  The first couple of months are really hard to take, but allow yourself to grieve as you have to- and you do have to make an effort to blot out the memory of that horrible last day or you will become obsessed with it. It is too easy to become overwhelmed by those last upsetting memories- we all know this too well. 

Remember, in time, you will be able to honour Siah with smiles and memories of the happy times you shared. He would have wanted that and would not want you to be so sad.

Hang in there, these bad times will slowly pass,

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Agree with all that Pam is saying...I too had to blot out the image of our girl Sassy dying right in front of me, or it would have driven me crazy.  I try to comfort myself by saying that she was not alone, that she trusted me enough to know that I would be with her when she chose her moment to leave us.

Like Pam, not a day goes by that I don't think of her - but the tears are combined with happy memories, and I do talk out loud to her as if she were still here on this earth, trusting that she is in heaven looking down on me.

Don't be hard on yourself, and know that the pain will lessen in time, but never the wonderful memories...

Keeping you and your Siah and all who have suffered this terrible loss in my thoughts and prayers...
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thanks for wonderful comments.. it sure makes me feel better. i am so glad i cremated him. for some reason i feel like he is in the house with me and my other two cats just like any other day.. i am so glad i have my other two kitties which keep me busy and occupied. i think it would have been alot harder without them

thanks again
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Without having read your post, I too just posted a note about the loss of our pup tunaka, which was two weeks ago tonight. It has been hard, but I don't have to tell you that. Keep your Siah close in your heart. I'm sure you are close in hers. I keep focusing on a positive image that I have of tunaka and me together on our last day. It was a beautiful moment that will stay with me forever. 
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