... I’m battling mononucleosis while fighting my way through  this ferocious grief.  My son and Julia, his gf, are staying with me at my house so we can support each other.  Max was their baby too, for the second half of his magical life. We are all over the place with moods, but sticking together and allowing whatever feelings that come to each, happen. Compound with Covid limitations for staying busy and being with friends and distracting with work... can’t play with my granddaughters... who make me happy by just. being, lol...see, I write this and sound like a spoiled, selfish person, who needs perspective and empathy for the real suffering out there... so, guilt, shame, ... how are you all finding the balance??
and not hating yourselves for crying all the time and doing the minimum possible to get through days?? I’m always the strong one, the caretaker, I’m a therapist!!

and wow, I am not strong now.  Not even a little bit.  Yikes. 

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It's ok to not  be strong.

You have lost your baby and that is a pain that everybody here understands that all too well.

Just like when we lose a human companion, we need to allow ourselves to feel it through all the stages that come, when they come.

This COVID isolation makes it so much worse too. We are all going through a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings that get amplified when we are also trying to.cope with the loss of our furry best friend.

That you also have mono is so difficult to fathom. Of course with all of this on your shoulder you feel like you are struggling. How could you not?

Be kind to yourself. Take the time to feel the loss, to feel the pain. Also take the time though, to remember all the wonderful things about your fur baby, and share those memories with your  son and his gf.  They loved this baby too, and you can all share comfort with each other.

Hugs and prayers to you as you mourn your fur baby. Remember that you are not alone.
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I have always been the strong one.  Have managed and controlled everything.

Our beloved Pecan passed away 10 weeks ago and I cried for 9 weeks straight.  Barely left the bed, or took a shower.  All my friends and family were and still are worried about me.  I blame myself for her sudden death.  So many I should have, what if, I could have, how come I miss that, ..... I am usually a private person but this time I reached out to as many people as possible.  Watched so many YouTube videos about loss, grief and guilt and started writing to Pecan. Please be kind to yourself and take care of yourself.  Our beloved pets give us so much unconditional love and joy and losing them is the hardest things ever. it’s ok not be the strong one for a bit.  

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