I got my little girl that was half wiener dog and half Chihuahua 9 yrs ago. She was just different than any other dog. She had a soul, you could see it in her eyes. It was like a person was in there. I got hurt in a construction accident back in 2008 so I’ve been home with her everyday. I never took a vacation away from her and limited my outings from the house to a couple hrs to make sure she wasn’t left by herself to long. She was like a daughter and a best friend. She suffered her whole life from a serious bowel problem so I had to wipe her butt every time she pooped. But more than anything she was my best friend. I had two soul mates her and my wife. We had to put her down 3 weeks ago and this is the most unreal pain I’ve ever felt. I sat with my mom, grandma and friend as they passed away and I’ve even been witness to a horrible violent crime. I was in a accident and had a friend die in front of my eyes while holding him. I thought my mom dying while holding my hand was hard. So why is the passing of my little girl just killing me. I’m a big tough guy but this is almost not bearable. You can see I’m reaching out on a forum to find out what’s wrong with me. Picture the biggest toughest guy you ever laid eyes on and I am that guy. I spent yrs in prison when I was young and it was nothing. All the death I’ve seen just bounced off in a day or two. Why has the passing of this little girl ripped my heart in pieces? I’m truly at a loss.
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With enormous love comes enormous grief. You are the reason, and she is the reason. The unconditional love we get from them, everyday, the time we spend with them, everyday, creates a bond so strong when they die our hearts feel like theyve been shattered in a million pieces, they have. I’m sorry, this grief, is stronger, harsher than most of us have ever felt, even at the death of a close loved one. It’s just beyond words. You’re not alone, I painfully understand the depth of your anguish. Each of us do, each of us are somewhere at some step on this painful journey. Size doesn’t matter. The toughness is diminished. I’ve been through somethings I wouldn’t wish on anyone but I’d go through them all a hundred times over for one more day with my Tankie. This “here” this place to come and write and pour out your heart is a blessing. You’re not alone, you never will be, so many compassionate caring people to offer support and kindness, take care,,,,
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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I am truly sorry for the loss of your fur baby daughter....because "she was your daughter".  I don't have "human babies", but I have been blessed with doggie babies.  I understand your pain, the loneliness, the hollow in your heart, the emptiness.  You are grieving, and how could you not grieve?  our pets unlike "human babies", depend on us all through their lives, they follow us, they keep us company and give us pure and unconditional love.  They only leave us when they say good bye - and many times with have to make the decision to "help them cross to the other side".  But, all our decisions are based on love.

Size, character, gender, we all "surrender" to their loss - and this pain hits you like a ton of bricks. Grief is a very tough and painful journey.  "Grief does not have a time limit just as Love does not have an expiration date".  Your love for you fur baby will be always secured in your heart.

JennyTeddy -member of this forum has a quote -  "If Love Could Have Saved You, You Would Have Live Forever.." 

Many hugs.

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I am sorry for your pain. I know it is enormous. Everyone here will be with you throughout your journey of grief.
Be kind to yourself. Remember how much she loves you and that she is not gone in your heart. Her soul lives with you.
Please take care of yourself and visit often
Boo' s mommy
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I am so sorry for your loss. The pain is unbearable and the vet was telling me a same type of story today about big bikers that break down and cry uncontrollably when they lose their pets. I went through tons of loss in my life also, and this grief is so unique. I feel your pain, and I can only tell you that the love you feel for your dog must have been shared by your dog as well. They can't talk but those gentle eyes looking back at us can mean so much more than words. 

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” – Anatole France

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Nelliesdad, so sorry to hear about your devastating loss. We here are all now, or have been, going through the same unbearable grief. It's impossible to describe to anyone who hasn't felt it. I think what Sil said is so true, that it hurts so bad because they follow us through their entire lives, depend on us, until that one moment they say goodbye. True companions.

Do not feel bad or self-conscious about your grief. It doesn't discriminate by size or gender. It means that you had a deep, deep connection with little Nellie, which is so obvious from the care you gave her throughout her life and in her passing. Knowing when to let them go is part of loving them, though it causes us so much pain.

I too have been through things in my life that one would think were the "worst ever"... but losing my two cats has really been the worst. It's that one-on-one bond they have with you and no one else, staying by your side through thick and thin. We are so blessed to have them.

Please keep posting stories about Nellie and let us know how you're doing. I will keep you and Nellie in my thoughts.

"How it is that animals understand things I do not know, but it is certain that they do understand. Perhaps there is a language which is not made of words and everything in the world understands it. Perhaps there is a soul hidden in everything and it can always speak, without even making a sound, to another soul." ― Frances Hodgson Burnett
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't be ashamed of grieving. You are welcome here as often as you like. Grief is the price we pay for love.
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