I went back and read your original post about Macky. He sounds like such a sweet, special boy.
From my experience, when I lost Bailey, I felt numb. I seemed to go in and out of feeling that way for months, my brain's way of protecting me I guess. When I read this post, I thought that what you are describing sounds a lot like what I went through. Looking back I'm so glad that I did experience that numbness because otherwise I don't know how I would have been able to make it through. If you have times or days when you feel okay just go with it and use that time to rest your mind and body. It is such a difficult journey and although we all understand the awful loss, I think we all experience it in our own way. Things will get easier with time but don't try and rush it - mourning your loss is so important for healing. I am so sorry you lost your precious boy!