tazmoe
Every once in awhile I'll get the urge to look at Kona's photos off my phone. As soon as I do however, the tears start to pour out. I can't bear to see his pictures without feeling sad.

Is it normal to feel this way? I honestly thought seeing his pictures would bring me some joy. I'm guessing maybe after some time has passed, that I'll be able to view his photos without losing it?
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Kuttus
I am going through the exact phase as you are.. And searching for the same answers as you..
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Rookiesmama
I usually feel happy while i'm looking at them, but then sometimes get sad when I think that there will be no more pictures, and that we should've had more time together.
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clevymd
It gets better.  I had a hard time at first, too, but now I can remember when we were happy, and when we were having fun together, and be grateful we had those times.  Looking at those pictures helps me to focus on the years they were alive, rather than the minutes of their deaths.  It's a process still in evolution, so give yourself time.  
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/ZOE085/Resident.htm
https://www.RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JASMI151/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/LAYLA022/Resident.htm
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Kuttus
Hi,
Thanks ..your comment gave me courage somewhere..the last memory is heart wrecking..it is causing a lot of pain..
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clevymd
Yeah, the last memory is the worst.  So, go back to the beginning.  I went back to photos when Zoe and Jasmine first joined our family.  Jasmine in particular was just despondent in the shelter, and once we got her home, she was just radiant with joy.  I put that one below.  I see the great times we had during those years, and know despite the pain of losing them, it was so worth it to have them in my life.   Even Zoe, who was so difficult, still had good times that made us hang on to her all those years.  I see that we did our best to give them great lives and we loved them with all our hearts, and they gave us so much love in return.  Despite the pain, it was worth every minute. IMG_4185.jpg 
Carole, Mom to Zoe, who crossed the bridge on 7/5/18, Jasmine, who crossed on 7/14/18, and Layla, on 12/1/18, all will forever be in my heart, and ongoing mom to Roxie.

https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/ZOE085/Resident.htm
https://www.RainbowsBridge.com/residents/JASMI151/Resident.htm
https://www.rainbowsbridge.com/residents/LAYLA022/Resident.htm
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tazmoe
Whenever I pull up the photos on my phone, the first one that pops up is from Kona's last vet visit. I guess that is why I get sad. It's taken mere moments before they put him to sleep. If I could rearrange my photos I think it would be emotionally easier for me.
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Rookiesmama
Try making a folder of your favorites. My folders all come up as thumbnails, so I'll click the favorites folder first. 😊
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Humanswithpaws
Totally normal I’m 3 weeks on after loosing my boy I still can’t look at his pics yet with out crying they remind me of how amazing he was and how much I miss him. My boy was only 5 years old when he left me it’s totalky heartbreaking. Sending you the healing power to be able to one day look without a tear but just a smile lots of love
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Valley_hughes
tazmoe wrote:
Every once in awhile I'll get the urge to look at Kona's photos off my phone. As soon as I do however, the tears start to pour out. I can't bear to see his pictures without feeling sad.

Is it normal to feel this way? I honestly thought seeing his pictures would bring me some joy. I'm guessing maybe after some time has passed, that I'll be able to view his photos without losing it?


The first week I was an absolute mess when I would look at his picture. I still tear up but the good memories are starting to bloom. I have made it a point to try and give myself something to look forward to so that I don’t lose my mind. Hugs to you. It might take some time but you will make it though.
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Valley_hughes
Rookiesmama wrote:
Try making a folder of your favorites. My folders all come up as thumbnails, so I'll click the favorites folder first. 😊


Great idea! I started a folder for Peanut but I have 60,000 pictures to look through! 😬
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Eileennellie
I do this a lot. Google photos sends me the "Remember this day" thing, which I love. It's been 13 and and 10 months since I lost Dobie and Paris. I smile more than cry when I look at pics now. It does get easier.
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tazmoe
I finally did it.

I went a whole day without shedding one tear. A lot of it has to do with my new job and it's hectic work schedule. Today I was just too tired to do anything when I got home. I did think about Kona a little, but I was finally able to remember his happier moments. It made me smile a bit actually.

I'm more than certain this won't be the norm however. I can tell I haven't fully healed, and I wouldn't be surprised if I cry once or twice in the upcoming days. Still, It's a small step and one that I'm grateful I was able to take.

Kona my friend; thank you for everything. I will try to be strong from now on.👍
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