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JinglesMom

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I truly believe that I was meant to come across this beautiful and comforting piece of writing tonight. It has been almost a year since I lost one of the sweetest, dearest little loves of my life, my kitty Jingles. To this day, I can recall with vivid intensity the cold, dark January night that my precious boy crossed over. It can be likened to an instant replay of the events that unfolded, and my utter sadness and devastation at not being able to help him in his greatest time of need. He just looked so scared, so panicked, so confused, and all I could do was hold him, love him, and pray that God would lead him to the light so he would not hurt anymore. Watching and feeling him die in my arms like that, it was totally traumatic, and the deep pain of that night is relentless, even after so much time. This article really put things in perspective for me, and I needed this so badly. I needed to read that how and when they pass is not to be dwelled on, and that is the last thing that they are thinking about when they transition.

Every single loss of our beloved pets is unbelievably hard, and I know from reading the stories posted on this forum that so many of you have experienced the complete helplessness of seeing your sweet little one hurting and in so much pain, and not being able to do anything about it. I wanted nothing more than to trade places with him, and I would have with absolutely no hesitation. I took from this article that how they crossed over to their new world is such an insignificant part of their life here on earth. I have been living my life as though I was a failure with him, when all I ever did was make sure that he was happy, safe, warm, and loved.

That is all we can ever strive to do, but because those last few moments were so awful and unfathomable for my heart and soul to comprehend, that terrible memory always seemed to take away and infringe on our almost eighteen years together of sweetness, love, and joy. I cherished this little tabby boy of mine, I would have given my life for him, yet here I would be not remembering the exquisite beauty of our time with each other, but just those last horrendous minutes when his dear little body was shutting down. So in closing, I can only hope that sharing these heartfelt words with you will help you to see that it is not the last moments when they are struggling that matter, but it is all the days, months, and years in-between of hope, promise, and love that they take with them.

If this helps even one person let go of the hurt and pain of recalling their loved one's final moments, well then it has all been worth it. I tend to pour out my heart and soul in my writing, so when I find something with such power and healing, I feel such a need to share it. So many of you have reached out and helped me more than you will ever know, and I am beyond grateful. I know that my darling boy Jingles will be smiling down from the rainbows in knowing that because of him, someone else's journey of grief was just a little bit gentler and just a little bit softer. My sweet and special baby, helping and saving from clear across that rainbow. They always have such perfect timing, and they always know just when we need to see that beautiful little light breaking through the shadows.


From George Anderson's Walking in the Garden of Souls, Chapter 4, "Life in the Garden -- The Souls Want to Tell You":

Through so many sessions I have had with families, where the very fiber of their resolve has been tested by difficult circumstances both they and their loved ones endured on the earth, the souls have continued to state emphatically that there are no accidental circumstances on the earth. ... There is a specific reason why we have to suffer, or have to watch helplessly while a loved one suffers. No matter how much we think we could have changed the circumstance of the passing of a loved one, the souls tell us that we do not have that kind of control over the Infinite Light. ... We cannot, and we do not have that power, nor would we want it if we really thought things through. If we could understand from the perspective of the souls in the hereafter, then we would know that nothing that happens on the earth is meaningless to the story of our journey here, and everything has a purpose, even if it can't be immediately seen by us. There are no victims on the earth -- only students, who by their circumstance are fulfilling an important part of their life lesson by enduring whatever this lifetime has thrown in their path.... It is only the people who have suffered on the earth, through loss or circumstance, that truly understand what the souls are trying to say. Earth is a complex series of experiences designed to test our faith, our endurance, and our capacity to give and receive love. Some are joyful experiences, but many are tough, and it is up to us to decide whether we will use the time we have to our best advantage or fritter away the experiences, having learned nothing of value from them. No matter when the time comes in our lives, at the time it is necessary for us to graduate out of our existence here, our circumstance of passing is chosen to have the greatest impact on both our own spiritual lessons and the lessons of those around us. No matter what the circumstance, whether through illness or "accident" or at the hands of another -- the circumstance of our passing is only the vehicle that transports us from this dimension to the next one.

I have always found it curious that the souls never seem to spend too much time detailing the manner of their passing during a session, and seem to only relay the pertinent facts as a way of proving to their loved ones that they were aware of the circumstance. We tend to regard the moment of death as a monumental tragedy, but the souls regard it as merely the transition to their new life in the hereafter. I didn't realize until I was told by the souls that the circumstance of passing was really not an important step in the story of the soul's transition -- it is just the manner into which they were transported to a new life. Ask any married couple about their wedding, and while they can tell you in minute detail about that wonderful day, very few will even remember the ride to the church. If the souls spend any time at all communicating the details of their passing, it is usually because they want to give us the respect of reenacting a major moment in our life -- their passing to the hereafter. Otherwise, like their physical bodies, the last moments of their time on earth are no longer of any consequence to the souls -- what they have now is all they need. One very resourceful young soul in the hereafter helped both myself and her sister understand the concept through her ana logy: She asked us to "imagine being slapped and pulled physically from a ratty apartment, then shoved hard into a beautiful palace. Once you see that you got a beautiful palace out of the deal, who cares what it took to get you there?"

People who have had the hard experience of watching a loved one suffer have a very difficult time finding any value in what the souls insist is one of this lifetime's greatest learning experiences. Most cannot find any benefit whatever in having to stand by idly, unable to help, knowing that there is nothing they can do, and feel that suffering is the final insult their loved one will have to face before dying. In fact, many people I have spoken to throughout the years have found the experience of their loved one's suffering (and their own, witnessing it) to be among the cruelest, incomprehensible events of life. But the souls have often said that not only was the "momentary" (in the soul's eyes) suffering a quick, final, worthwhile experience that brought them great spiritual reward in the hereafter, the experience of having watched helplessly as they suffered will prove to be a great spiritual lesson for us on the earth. The souls tell us that the very act of caring and waiting and watching -- and not completely abandoning our hope -- is one of the most spiritual of the lessons we will ever learn. They also, without fail, will tell their families that great progress in each member's own spiritual journey has been made, because they have survived -- they have lived through the torment and agony, and yet still continue to live as best they can after falling so hard. ... And they tell us that not only is it incumbent upon us to accept that there was a reason (and a very good one) for all the suffering we and they endured, but experiencing the difficult times and living on here provides perhaps the greatest lesson of our lifetime -- to rebuild hope after it has been shattered.


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"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you."

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Pamela Lynne Crawford
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