baronal
My husband and I  lost our beloved dog four days ago to a tragic car accident.  He slipped out the door without our knowing and was hit by a car a few minutes later on the street we always cross when we go on his walks. There was one spot that he loved to play in and I am sure that is where he was going.  I can only pray his death was instantaneous and that  he did not suffer.  When we got the phone call that he was found on  the side of the road, I was in shock. I ran to the corner and  it looked like he was sleeping on the side of the road.  My grief was unbearable. I wrapped him in his favorite blanket, closed his eyes and held him for a long time rubbing his belly and telling how much much I loved him.  I have now gone through all the possible stages of grief when one loses a loved one so tragically--shock and disbelief, recrimination, and rumination ("I should have, I could have, why didn't I ..") and anger over and over again.
I expect to see him everywhere, in the window when I pull up to the garage, at the stop of the stairs when I enter through the basement door, at my bedside when it is time to go to sleep and he wants to be picked up and sleep at my side.  I can not sleep  because I close my eyes and the recrimination and rumination starts all over again. 
If he had been ill and had died in his sleep, I could at least have the comfort of knowing that he is in a better place, but this kind of senseless violent death is beyond my comprehension.
When does the pain begin to lighten?  I am grateful for this site that I have come upon that allows me to express my deep feelings of loss to others who have shared my pain.  Any words of wisdom would be most appreciated.
 

 



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chilover
baronal

My sincere condolences.
My heart aches for you right now..

I was sad to hear that you lost your lovely dog in these circumstances & I know that there will be nothing anyone can say right now to ease your pain but just try to remember that he is now at peace & isn't suffering & he may not have been suffering as it may have been instant..

Grief is unpredictable as it can come in waves & it is different for each & every one of us.
I lost my sweet dog in August & have shed tears every single day. I have noticed a couple of improvements but still have a long long way to go as somedays I end up right back to 'day 1'!. I lived alone with my Daisy & will allow it to take it's time naturally, without pressure!

I hope you have a good support network, it is going to be tough, but in time you will be ok! There really isn't a time frame for grief, you are going through a traumatic time right now so do whatever you feel you need to do, cry, scream, whatever, but be kind & gentle with yourself as you were a loving pet owner who deserves compassion & comfort!

In time you will start to remember all the wonderful memories of your pup & feel somewhat lighter.

You will heal!

Keep posting here for support, whenever you feel ready.

Sending light & love and hugs

Daisy's mummy.

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LauriP92
Oh no-this is so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. I think any of us would be grief stricken as well. Use this site as a resource to talk to others going through the same thing-we are all here to support one another. I made a memorial of my kitty and I talk to him every day-its cathartic for me. 
Sending you a hug
Lauri
Lauri 
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Memories_of_Marmalade


Dear Baronal,

I am so very saddened for your loss from that tragic accident. It is so common unfortunately and can happen in a moment. 

As Daisy's Mummy wrote, grief comes in waves. At times it ebbs around us and we can still stand strong in the tide, at other times grief rises up to our necks and makes us feel as if we will not be able to continue to breath, and then at still other times grief can completely overwhelm us. It rises over our heads, knocks us off our feet and feels like are going to drown from the sorrow. What we have shared and learned here on the forum is we must weather all of the above. Just wait for the grief to subside with the tide. Which does happen. And eventually the tides will return to normal and we will not need to suffer and endure so.

"This too shall pass."

Kind regards & my sincerest condolences,
James
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baronal
Thank you all for your kind words and support.  I have left a bouquet of flowers from my garden wrapped in one of his favorite toys on the corner where he passed.  It gives me some comfort to see it when I pass by.  As you all said, it comes in waves, but when it comes the sadness is overwhelming.  I find the only relief I get is when I am not at home (where I expect to see him with every turn of my head), but unfortunately, I do not seem to have the bandwidth to venture out very much.
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Memories_of_Marmalade

Dear Baronal,


That gesture of the flowers and toy is very meaningful, heartfelt and kind. I am so, so sorry for the heartbreak you are experiencing. But the level of heartbreak you are feeling is equal to the level of love that your lost one experienced from you, when they were with you. Which says a lot.

Hugs,
James
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Rosanne777
So so sorry for the loss of
your beloved pet.


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kristenharlow
Horrible. I'm so sorry.
My baby died 2 weeks ago this friday because his retractable leash got hit by a car when i wasn't looking. i know how you feel. i'm so sorry you didn't get to say goodbye. 
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