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Bayley

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Reply with quote  #61 
Hi Ginger -   Ive been following your thread as I am going along the same lonely road,  I started my journey on Feb. 20.   I still think about my Bayley every day, multiple times a day, and yes the smallest reminder of him can set me off too and I dissolve into a teary mess.    

It does get more bearable over time because you become numb - thats the body's way of coping with incredible grief - but that panful loss will always be there - how can it not?  I know there will come a time when my first thoughts of Bayley, and yours of Boo, will be happy ones as opposed to dwelling on the painful last days of grief and loss.    

How difficult it is to learn to adapt to life without your constant companion.  It affects every aspect of your existence.   I like you plod through each day, the goal being to get through that one day.  But its a journey I don't want to make because its another day without him in my life and unrealistic as it is, I want him back.   So its a bittersweet accomplishment.  

I tell myself Bayley would be so distraught to see me in such pain.  And Boo wouldn't want to see you that way either.  So maybe we go on and try to get back some happiness in our lives as a way to honour them for the joy they gave us over the years.        


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msweet13

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Reply with quote  #62 
Dearest Ginger - I know all to well how you are feeling. I found this poem that I thought may help just a little (reading it helped me when I was feeling especially lonely for my beloved Brutus).

I ONLY WANTED YOU 

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true.
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

        ~
Vicky Holder

(((Ginger))) I keep you and your precious Boo in my thoughts and I wish you peace and comfort for the days ahead.

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Denise (Brutus' Mom)
Brutus von Dolce
06/19/2006 - 03/16/2018
RIP my sweet beautiful boy
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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #63 
Thank you Denise,
I know very well that you are in the same pain that I am in.  We both lost our babies around the same time.  I just wish that I had a video of him.  I miss him so much.  I know that you miss Brutus in the same way.  I hope that one day soon we can begin to heal and feel better.  I love the poem.  It says everything 

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #64 
This is a horrible day Boo.  I miss you more now than I did a month ago.  It's just all so real now.  I will never see you again and I cry and cry.  
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Purzel

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Reply with quote  #65 
Ginger,

Please, be patient with yourself... I know it is difficult and reminders will come along for quite some time. I'm in my 5th month and it still is not easy but better. After such a long time with him it will certainly take some time to learn to live without him, to learn to come to terms and to seek new ways. I know you will get there. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful pic of Boo at those very steep steps trying to get to you - what a brave little guy.

Hugs

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #66 
Thank you, he certainly was a character. I just miss him so much. I know everyone here is going through same pain and grief. If I hadn't found this forum I would have probably gone crazy. Just thank you everyone for your words of comfort ❤️️
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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #67 

Well Boo,

 

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks since I’ve seen your beautiful eyes looking up at me.  The mornings,  during the week, you would just stare at me hoping that it wasn’t a work day and that I would be able to stay home with you all day.  That is all you wanted, just to be with me.  It’s all I wanted too Boy.  I wish we would have had more of those lazy days.  But I added it up, and we had almost 5,000 days together.  That’s a lot of days Boy.  I’m grateful for every one of them.  There will never be another Booter.  I’m happy that we grew older together.  When I first brought you home, we both had darker hair and during the last 11 years, we turned white haired. 

Boo, I know you were sick  and hiding it from me because all you wanted to do was spend time with me.  We went to the park every day when I got home from work so you could have your walk and pee your 10-15 times marking every place another dog had been 😉.  I sure do miss you.  I’m sorry that you are gone but I’m grateful that you did not suffer.    There is so much I would like to say to you now.  I just don’t know where to stop.  There are so many memories and I want to remember them and let the last day become a faded memory.  There are too many good ones.  I will write again later.  I’m tearing up now and just wanted to put something down in writing.   

Last night I dreamed we were together
Sharing all the love we've known
Till I had to face the nightmare
Of waking up alone
 
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Tankie12

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Reply with quote  #68 
Oh that was so moving, and beautiful and sad and I wish we could all just wake up to our babies soo badly! I too cherish every day, hour, minute spent with my girl. You love your ‘ Boy ‘ so much and every word shows it. Somehow the days do just go on. I used to wonder how that plant could be blooming again, and how dare it. We are forever changed and struggle to find a way in this foreign land. I hope you have dreams of walking in the doggie park and your ‘ Boy ‘ marking his turf and that when you wake in the morning you smile,,, be good to you
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Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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Olgita256

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Reply with quote  #69 
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️so beautiful. I’d give anything to smell his scent again, rub his tummy and lose myself in his beautiful eyes!
This pic shows how far we go back!!! I think I was 38....51 now. Ginger.... I hope you keep dreaming of your baby.

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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #70 
You should post more photos of Boo. Boo is adorable. Such a sweet face. I realized we lost our sweet babies around the same time and both Losing our babies to CHF. I’m so sorry you’re going through this pain too. It’s so hard :( when they were apart of our lives every second and now to not have them here is crippling. Nothing makes happy anymore. Everything feels pointless. I wish with our babies we were born into the world together and left the world together, no cancers, no heart failures, no health issues, no awful accidents. Just live life together from start to finish. I miss my baby so much as I know how deeply and terribly you miss your Boo as well.
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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #71 
my boot.jpg  My beautiful Boo.  


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Boo' s mommy

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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #72 
Boo is absolutely adorable and beautiful. Such a sweet and cute face <3
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Lillymylove

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Reply with quote  #73 
Boo was so beautiful.

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #74 

Boo

It’s now five whole weeks since you left.  I am still miserable without you.  I hate waking up to nothing in the morning.  I remember how, if I happened to oversleep just one or two minutes, you would do that pretend sneezing thing or shaking to awaken me.  You never seemed to amaze me with your sweetness. 

The days are not the same now.  My whole life has changed.  I miss you so much. 

I remember how when the grandkids would come for the night, how you loved them so much.  There was so much joy in the house.  Now, there is none.  There is no laughter.  I remember saying, the day before you died, not knowing it would be your last day, "When Boo goes, I'll never laugh again"  You made me laugh Baby.  You.  

Jenny, on this forum recently lost her Teddy, like you, he had heart failure.  She said something on her thread that we all believe:  Everyone thinks they have the best dog, none of them are wrong.  She's right Baby.  You were the best!!!

Love you always


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JennyTeddy

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Reply with quote  #75 
Ginger,

You’re such a sweetheart 💛 thank you for the sweet message. That quote is my favorite because it’s beautifully true. We all had the best. 💕💛🐶🐾
My heart is with you and your sweet Boo today. Knowing Boo went through heart failure like my sweet boy Teddy. Continues to break my heart.

You letter to Boo made me smile and brought tears to my eyes. I love reading about your Boo. I can totally relate when you mentioned “ I remember how if I happened to oversleep just one or two minutes, you would do that pretend sneezing thing or shaking to awaken me.” That made me smile and warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes because my baby Teddy did the very same thing. Oh how I wish our babies were with us. 💕 sending you lots of love & hugs your way. 💛💛💛

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