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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #1 
My beloved boo died yesterday suddenly of congestive heart failure. He was eleven but acted like a puppy. One day he was fine and the next dying. I really don't know how to cope. I keep looking for him in the house but he is gone.
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #2 
Hi Ginger. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. The raw grief the first few days is incomparably hard and it feels completely unbearable. My heart goes out to you very much. 

I hope it will help for you to connect here with people who understand. It is just so hard and it can remain hard for quite a long while.  

Let your tears out, express your pain and heartbreak. I hate that you're having to walk through this and I wish you every ounce of comfort possible. 

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #3 
Thanks. There are no words to express the pain I feel right now. This was my boy. He knows me better than anyone on earth. I still feel his presence here with me. I only wish I had another day with him.
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catiebee

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Reply with quote  #4 
I sure understand. 

In first few weeks after I lost Marissa, my heart kept saying over and over again that I want her back. 

It is the fiercest pain. Take good and gentle care of yourself while your grief is so raw.

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #5 
You are very kind to respond. No one quite understands or knows what to say. It is helpful to read here knowing that I am not alone. I just want to wake up from this nightmare
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MyBella

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Reply with quote  #6 
Dear Ginger,

I am so, so sorry for the sudden loss of your precious Boo, it is never easy to lose such a loved and valued member of your family, especially when it is so sudden.
What breed is your Boo, how did he get his name?
I would love to learn more about your sweet boy and maybe you could post a photo of him. Of course I completely understand if you aren't feeling up to sharing at this time, there is no rush, whenever you are ready.

Hold the many cherished and wonderful moments you and Boo shared close to your heart, by doing so, you will always feel his loving spirit surround you.
I am so sorry for your loss, sending our most positive healing thoughts your way. May your heart always know and feel the love and light that is your sweet Boo, bringing with his love, the peace you so deserve.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #7 
Thank you. Boo is a morkie, half yorkie and half Maltese. His name is boudin. We are in Louisiana. Most of the time he was just "boo" or "booter"
Yesterday he woke up in the middle of the night coughing uncontrollably so I took him to vet and they said heart failure. Poor boy got some shot and went home. When I got home at noon he was worse so I took him back and vet said the end was near. He was suffering. Just the day before we did our daily park walk and he was fine. I left vet and took him to park. We sat on blanket and I talked to him. Called vet and said I would be back. I put my boy in the car wrapped in his blanket and a few minutes later his little heart stopped. I felt blessed not having to go back to the needle. I am in such agony now reliving the day and hoping I did the right thing. He was 11 and I got him when he was 6 weeks old. He was this woman's best friend. I am 62 and my like revolved around my boo

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Sooz

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Reply with quote  #8 
Oh, Ginger, you did everything you could for your little Boudin Boo!  

You gave him his last moments with you, in the park on a soft blanket, out in the open air with the blue sky above, and you didn't know his little heart would stop right then and there in the car.  

I know you said that you feel blessed that you didn't have to go back to the needle, and of course it's so easy to second guess ourselves with "what if" or "may I should have" or "why didn't I".  

For some, the gentle passing with the needle is our only choice whether at home or at the vet, for others, a peaceful passing during sleep is a blessing, and for others, being with your beloved baby during the last moments is what a Guardian Mom or Dad wants to do, no matter where this occurs.  I don't think there is a right or wrong about our choices or the options we have.  We do what we think is best at the time, because we love our babies so much!  I am so sorry for your loss!!!!

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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #9 
Thank you. It's Saturday and his favorite day when I didn't have to work. Just me and him all day. Now I sit here alone agonizing.
My no means was I criticizing the needle. I know sometimes it's absolutely necessary and has to be done. I was on the way to do just that.
I'm just reliving this last moments and hoping I did the right thing and that he knew how much I loved him.
I have no idea how to get through this. I need to find peace.
This forum is so much help. Just knowing I'm not alone
Missing my little booter this morning

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Tazers_Daddy

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Reply with quote  #10 
Oh ginger. You did everything you could, I feel blessed for you that you got to be with boo at the end. My Tazer died on the operating table at the vet, 4 years ago today. Not being there for him at the end is one of my biggest regrets. I’m glad you got to be there. Hold onto your love for your little boo. Xoxox
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Bayley

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Reply with quote  #11 
Hi Ginger - So sorry for your loss.   What happened to your Boo is similar to what happened with my Bayley.  Looked totally healthy one day and dead the next.  Same scenario - had a collapse took him to vet who unfortunately misdiagnosed him and sent him home to recover row hat he thought was a seizure.  He didn't recover, he died about 30 minutes later.  I lost my Bayley on Feb. 20 and am still an emotional mess - Im a woman in my 60s too and my life revolved around my boy.  You are trying to relearn how to live without the most important being in your life -  I think of it as going through withdrawal - and it is so hard - and when they die so suddenly I think you suffer PTSD as well.    I still cry every day but not as much and not as intense.   At times I think I want another dog so I can have that closeness and happiness back again, and then at other times I can't imagine another dog being capable of giving me the joy and love I had with Bayley.    Maybe that will change with some more time.   

The most difficult thing for me was going about my daily life without him.  Waking up to an empty place, seeing no doggie bed, toys or food bowls out, and sleeping without him snuggled next to me.   How do you recover from such a terrible loss?   All I can tell you is that you do get through it although you are forever changed by the loss. 


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JulieJean

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Reply with quote  #12 
Hi Ginger, I am so sorry for your loss. I know your pain. My sweet kitty Gus was fine at 5:15 this morning when I left for a walk. I found him lifeless when I returned home 2 hours later. The pain is unbearable. He was my world. I have two other cats, and have had many in my lifetime. Gus was my rock. Most people don’t understand. I understand. I’m terribly sorry.
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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #13 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayley
Hi Ginger - So sorry for your loss.   What happened to your Boo is similar to what happened with my Bayley.  Looked totally healthy one day and dead the next.  Same scenario - had a collapse took him to vet who unfortunately misdiagnosed him and sent him home to recover row hat he thought was a seizure.  He didn't recover, he died about 30 minutes later.  I lost my Bayley on Feb. 20 and am still an emotional mess - Im a woman in my 60s too and my life revolved around my boy.  You are trying to relearn how to live without the most important being in your life -  I think of it as going through withdrawal - and it is so hard - and when they die so suddenly I think you suffer PTSD as well.    I still cry every day but not as much and not as intense.   At times I think I want another dog so I can have that closeness and happiness back again, and then at other times I can't imagine another dog being capable of giving me the joy and love I had with Bayley.    Maybe that will change with some more time.   

The most difficult thing for me was going about my daily life without him.  Waking up to an empty place, seeing no doggie bed, toys or food bowls out, and sleeping without him snuggled next to me.   How do you recover from such a terrible loss?   All I can tell you is that you do get through it although you are forever changed by the loss. 



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Ginger4256

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Reply with quote  #14 
Bailey, I am so sorry to read this about your baby. I still can't accept boos death. No sleep, no food , no peace. It's a nightmare I want to end. Plus my daughter gets married next week.
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kittysmum

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Reply with quote  #15 
Some people here have described the grief as raw. That's a good word. Although I don't know you I recognise your pain. You are not alone. It's hard, be kind to yourself at this traumatic time.
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