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Leeno
The loss of a pet is unimaginable and in some ways worse than loss of people.  Some may think this is ridiculous and unwarranted.    Pets however give us one thing that most humans are not capable of....unconditional love.  They also stay dependent on us.....they will forever depend on us to feed/bathe etc etc.  The reason I hope someday you will be able to heal and get another pet ....if you don't - yes you may be shielding yourself from any more heartache.  But you are also depriving yourself of any future experiences like the ones you shared with Kila.   I think animals need us as much as we need them.  Don't sell yourself short.  We need more animal people that will take care of them the way they deserve. You did everything right.  If the vet had called you sooner - chances are the end result would have been the same.  CHF is not a benign diagnosis.  I have to believe our babies are in a better place - one without meds/treatments/ER visits.  Your story and has helped me so much - so thank you!!  All the posts on this site have helped greatly.  
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Nattie
I just went through an incredibly similar story 10 days ago. Left my chihuahua at the emergency vet for respiratory symptoms among others. He’d had heart disease for 2 years so I knew it was probably related to that, but because of COVID-19 I had to just hand him over from my car window to get evaluated without knowing it would be the last time I ever saw him. After waiting in the car for 5 hours while he was in an oxygen box, they said he’d be fine until a cardiologist arrived and I could go home. 2 hours later he arrested and died without me there.

I feel like I know so much of what you went through because I also feel the horrible guilt of not being there with my baby when he passed. I really don’t think you should beat yourself up about the bath because I highly doubt that had anything to do with it. Chihuahuas are prone to heart disease, and once they go into CHF, it’s difficult to turn it around. And if your vet said the bath wasn’t the cause, I really doubt it was. I’m sorry to hear that you have people telling you to snap out of your grief. There is no snapping out of grief after such detrimental loss. Grieving is a process that takes time and you should allow yourself that time. I still can’t stop crying and I know I’m going to be devastated for a long long time. I hope you find some comfort in this forum during such a difficult time. 
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