JessicaSomething
Just yesterday my 6 year old cat passed away. I had that cat since I was 10 years old, and next week is my 17th birthday. As you can imagine, the timing of my cat Tabitha, is the worst timing ever.

I believe she was suffering from Feline Leukemia, but my mom and I couldn't find out...since testing was going to cost so much money...and we are poor. Her illness came on so fast, that I was taken aback. She stopped eating(which was her favorite thing in the world to do) she stopped drinking, she couldn't walk and all she would do is stare off into space when her name would be said. All she would do is have seizures constantly. They seemed never ending....

About 12am yesterday...I lied down with her and she was fighting just to breathe. I knew she wasn't going to make it through the morning...but how I wished she did. I sang to her...I told her how much she meant to me. Then around 2am...I just couldn't stay awake any longer...and took her paws into my hand...told her I love her...and fell asleep. I woke up around 4:30am...to find her gone.

I'm torn apart. I can't stop crying. She never leaves my mind. I sadly regret having her, because now I'm having to learn to live without her. My heart isn't just broken...it is shattered. I am left with painful memories...and I'm left with a void. I don't know how to deal with this, she was my best friend. She was my everything. My world revolved around her.

I need help....I need so much help...because I'm hating life at the moment. :'(

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judylinn
I'm so sorry...for you loss of your precious kitty. We all have been just where you are, and the pain is agonizing. Just let yourself feel all those tears, let them come out, they are a testament to how much your kitty was loved. I know how shattering it is, it was like that when I lost Maddie. It takes time to heal.
We all here, know what you are going through, we all loved our pets deeply too.
Know that she passed, knowing that she was loved. I too use to sing to Maddie, and they find it very comforting. Like your kitty, Maddie was sick also, and I know it doesn't help the pain right now, but your beautiful cat, is no longer suffering, she is running free and not sick any more.
We will be here to help you walk through this painful time.
Do you have support at home?
You have it here...my love and prayers are with you, and though we don't know each other, we share a common bond of deep love for our pets.  Judy
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judylinn

I also wanted to say, that though you fell asleep, your beloved Kitty would have know that you were right there with her, and that you loved her. even if you were sleeping, she knew you were there to the end.

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K9_Mom
Jessica,
I understand how you are feeling - I do because I've felt and am feeling that too.  Your precious kitty was loved and adored and whatever disease took hold of her and ripped her away from you was out of your control.  If it happened that fast chances are even if you'd had the money to find out - her passing could not have been prevented.  Life is like that unfortunatly.  I've spend months beating myself up about not having had more money - believing that money would have solved everything. 

You will get past your regret someday and be grateful that you had her in your life for six years.   Right now just keep breathing.  Your memories and thoughts will begin to change as time goes by.  Even though I am still trapped in the anger and the sad memories myself, I've been thru this enough to have faith that someday my first thought of my loved one will be a happy memory and not a sad one.  Your's will be too - please have faith in that. 

 As much as I myself am grieving - and believe me there are minutes during the day where I just want to leg go of this life and join my Katy Bear - I am thinking of the time I had with my baby and how I wouldn't trade even this pain for those times and knowing that my baby Katy would have suffered anything for me.   

What is your kitty's name?  I would like to say a prayer for you both.  And if you don't have anyone at home who understands - you can find solace here.  I have.
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judylinn

thinking of you Jessica, and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how it's going.  Judy

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JessicaSomething
The one where she looks like a little fur ball...is when she was a kitten. The two others are of a few days before she passed. I had taken a lot more pictures...but they're lost somewhere on my computer. Anyway, just thought I'd share her cuteness with others.
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judylinn

Jessica, she is very beautiful...thanks for sharing the photos. I know how much you are hurting ....I know it doesn't feel like it now, but please know that it will get better....we are here for you.  love and prayers...Judy :)

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JessicaSomething
Oh gosh, thank you for the wonderful compliment, Judy. She was as beautiful inside, as she was on the outside! I wish I had more pictures to show of her, but for now, I hold those very close to me. Tons of hugs to you, Judy!
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Trouble
Jessica,
I am sorry for the loss of you cat. I loss my a little over a month ago and still feel the pain. This is a good place to get support. I know as everyone knows what you are going through. I still cry over my Trouble. Take it one day at a time and your feelings are natural.
Prayers to you,
Sherry
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JessicaSomething
I am really liking it here, Sherry. Such nice people, who share something in common with me. Losing  dear and lovely friends. But they're our little angels now, I bet they're having a blast. My prayers and respect to every one of you!
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K9_Mom

What a beautiful baby!   I wish I could reach thru and scritch her ears, but somewhere God is doing that for us.  

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tikibarb
Life is very difficult when you lose a beloved companion.  Your precious baby is at peace now and you should try to take some comfort in that.  I know my words sound hollow to you now but with time you will realize that she is in a better place and you couldn't have done any more to comfort her than you did.  You gave her happy years and she had to feel the love in her last moments holding her paws in your hands and just lying next to her must have been so comforting to her.  This grief is debilitating and so difficult to endure.  Having been through it, I do understand the hopelessness of your loss.  I can promise you that it will get better with time.  Just give yourself the time and space you need.  Your beloved Tabitha was a large part of your life and it will take time for life to move back toward normal.  The hole in your heart will grow smaller over time.  And before you know it, you will replace those tears with bittersweet, happy memories.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/TED001/Resident.htm
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judylinn

Hi Jessica, sorry to have missed you tonight...I just wanted you to know that you are in my heart, and thoughts and prayers..Judy

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Polly
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your little one. I found your post so moving, how bittersweet for you to have her return to God with her paws in your hand, I thought that was beautiful. 

Tabitha was part of your life for so long, so give yourself time to grieve for her. I understand how overwhelming and hard it is for you right now, but with the help of the wonderful people here, it will get better.

She was a beautiful girl, and is a beautiful little angel now, playing with my Casper and all the other little friends.

Please remember you will never be alone here.

Polly
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JessicaSomething
Hello, everyone. It's been a little while since I've visited this site. I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving(it's actually going to be tomorrow, but I wont be on tomorrow) I've been doing a tiny bit better, I've pretty much pushed her to the back of my mind, with the occasional memories surfacing. I hope you all are doing well and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

With love, Jessica.

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